Church camp was
...BE Camp '08
(insert more adjectives here).
The band was
...completely for God
The camp speaker was
...intent on getting through to us
...successful in making me tear up 4/5 days.
I realized that
...I am weak
...I am insecure
...I am afraid
...I am sinful
...I am selfish
...I am small
...I am ready to flip my life around.
On the flipside,
...God is strong
...God is security
...God is love
...God is HOLY
...God is selfless
...God is big
...God will accept me for who I am, because no matter what I've done, he'll wait for me with his arms wide open to embrace me.
I'm done with
...The Misdemeanor Kings
I need to start
...spending time in God's Word, the Bible, daily (Three days in a row so far)
...praying daily (Five days in a row so far)
I've fully committed myself to a life of Worship. If the church band needs me, I will be there for them.
I need to step up in my leadership position and be the Godly man He has called me to be. I can't sit back and watch anymore. What good does that do? I need to get out and DO, not sit back and DON'T.
I will stick this out. I'm done being a hypocrite. Seriously, it sucks. Right now, I am the happiest I have been in YEARS. No, I'm not over-exaggerating.
Yes, I know I'm writing this in secret. Why? Because, I like this seclusion right now. I need it. It's keeping my head straight. Honestly, any thought of contact with anybody outside of my church kind of disappoints me and my euphoria disappears. I'd like to keep this for as long as I can.
Besides, right now some things are taking priority. There are some people I need to spend more time with
in that order. I'm sorry guys. You're important, but my relationships with the first two are weakening and I need to strengthen them.
Also, I'm getting baptized tomorrow (for the first time ever) in the Boise River. 1:00pm @ Friendship Bridge in Julia Davis park. Wanna come see me get dunked underwater?
In other news...
Camp was awesome! The band rocked and I bought their CD. The speaker really helped open my ears so I can listen to God more clearly instead of tuning him out like I had been. I got beat up quite a bit on trees, rocks, Jet Skis, Tubing, just having fun. I've got bruises and scabs all over. Also with my friend Jacob hitting me every now and then didn't help much. Felt funny though.
I made some new friends while I was there, one of which who will most likely be going to Borah next year (going into Senior Year from homeschooling), and I realized that I have a lot more people I can turn to with my problems there at church then I thought I did. It made me smile to know that. Well, after I broke down and cried for an hour on Thursday night.
I shared a testimony on Friday, alongside many other students from our church, the last one of which I couldn't help but break down and cry again. I hate speaking in large crowds, but at least I made them laugh.
Finally, I'm sad to leave. But I'm going back up tomorrow at 3:00pm for Junior High's WE camp to assist in leading Worship for God-knows-how-many Middle School students. I would love to see lives change through music, and that's why I want to get into Worship.
This is the BIG thing. This is the thing I've been waiting for. I know it is.
Now then, all of you, I love you, so, so much. God loves you all so, so much. He appeared to me this week, and I wish you all could have been there to see him as well. You would have changed too. You would have been swept away. All of you, please, allow this change to happen in me. It's for my betterment. I'm happy, and it's nice. Also, please allow me seclusion until I'm ready for contact again. My phone will be on me, but if you call me I'll ignore you. Just a fair warning.
And all God's children said...
"You know, it hurts to cheat on God. But, it hurts even worse to know that you're cheating on both your Father in heaven, and your Brothers and Sisters in Christ." -Jamie Manning.
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