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Well, I finally reclaimed this diary from my bag in the storage facility, and it doesn't show obvious signs of tampering. Let's hope none of those who had me in captivity have read it.
I don't have a huge amount of time to write, so I'll keep it short:
Cindy was upset by the box of chocolates, but managed not to spill the beans.
I was intending to wear my mother's dress to the Prom, but Lady Luck showed a nasty streak and shredded it, revealing a gorgeous necklace hidden in the lining. I went to the Prom anyway, in trousers and t-shirt (and the necklace), and used my emerging talent at magical illusions to turn my hair, quite literally, into a bird's nest. Sally went with me and was thrilled.
The day before I last wrote, Sally and I went to see a carnival she told me was near Barton South for the day. What I didn't know was that Gambino was there, and that Sally had acquired a camera. I don't quite know what happened, but while I was losing horribly at a "toss the rubber Grunny into the floating plastic lily" game, she took what I assume was a compromising picture of Gambino, was captured by Edmund, and loudly announced to the whole fairground, in what I think is a very working-class Durem accent, that she knew who Gambino was snogging, before tossing the camera into the Grunny pool, presumably ruining it and the picture.
Well, we got out of that one in the ensuing scramble for the camera, although Sally persisted on using the Durem accent as I scolded her on the way home. However, later that evening, Gambino showed up in a furious mood, demanding that Cindy give him his daughter at once. She refused, and in the ensuing row, Sally and I slipped upstairs, stuffed backpacks, climbed down the drainpipe, and made off through the woods. I had to carry her (and she's not light) most of the way to Barton, but we evaded capture.
Together we decided to head to Aekea, where I would try to find a job and Sally might go to school. Fat chance of that! We had barely left our backpacks in a left luggage locker at the Aekea train station when we were grabbed by Bucho and Geebus and hauled into a fancy limo with windows tinted so black that we couldn't see out. The next time we saw daylight, we were at the mansion in Durem, and Gambino was telling me that neither of us would be let out or allowed to contact Cindy until I agreed to marry Louie Von Helson. I noticed that the male in question was standing in a corner and looking exceedingly unhappy about the proposal, if the pun can be pardoned.
Well, I refused to even think of such a thing, and we were confined in the gilded cage of the mansion. We did our bests to annoy our captors, Sally by assuming her accent permanently and incessantly referring to Gambino as "the guv" while I did my best to (unintentionally, of course) clumsily make a mess of everything from tvs to bottles of hand soap, showing my total unsuitability to marry a count.
Result: Stalemate.
Finally, a week ago, Louie Von Helson himself asked if he could join Sally and I for tea. "Course, Count Von Helson," Sally said, and I agreed for entertainment value, thinking that I could at least knock a teapot over into his lap. Well, as it turned out, he didn't want to marry me either! And so we came up with a novel plan: I would wear a sparkly ring which, since it came from my mother's jewellery box (which he had filched) would not bind me to him at all. However, in Gambino's presence, we would behave as if we truly were engaged. Then Louie would insist on Gambino freeing me, at which point I could remove the ring as soon as I was out of Gambino's sight. Well, the plan worked, and Sally and I are now safely back at Cindy's, with Gambino still thinking Louie and I will eventually marry... Well, no time to gloat, I must go! Sally wants me to make sure there's enough of a stockpile of cat food in the house for Lady Luck to weather the fish shortage!