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go ahead and read it.
check out my poems
I gave you my heart,
to have and to hold,
to cherish and keep,
as we grew old,
as time went by,
so did you,
you took my heart,
and broke it in two,
now my heart has healed,
its whole again,
but a scar remains,
where you had been,
i thought we were,
meant to be,
how could you,
do this to me,
i gave you my soul,
it was a fire with passion,
you smothered it with false love and affection,
this whole time you were playing me,
i was so blinded by love,
that i couldnt see,


i will be making changes to this poem. comment please tho.






User Comments: [3] [add]
ArmyBrat_Girl
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Mon Jul 14, 2008 @ 02:10am
I love your poem. Great job! What I like most is that you made it realistic. I see that you include alot of vital examples [For instance, your heart.] that slowly awaken the meaning of your poem, as well as other comparisons. Try slicing your poem into stanzas and create a rhyme scheme. Another thing that will help you is give your poem as a whole some rhythem. 3nodding


commentCommented on: Mon Jan 26, 2009 @ 09:19pm
LALALA
i was bored
This ones REALLY good.
I like it.
Keep up the good work 3nodding



Kate _Is_Rawr
Community Member
x_iiSnowflake
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sun May 17, 2009 @ 04:14pm
Good job. =]
I like it, but you should put it into stansas, and try to give it a rhyme scheme. Thats hard for me, but it helps it out! =3


User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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