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So another school year has come and gone. I am now un upperclassman! not that it really matters. A lot of stuff has happened to me this year.
I had my first AP class which went well for that first semester. Then the teacher died. He was only 61 and died of a heart condition in his sleep. No one expected it. Plus to make matters worse he was the only teacher of the subject in the state. The substitute for the semester didn't know what he was doing and we had 4 more countries to study. I have yet to discover what my test score was.
Chemistry sucks!!!!! the teacher couldn't teach, so after the lectures we were more confused then we were to begin with. I got a D. whatever.
So this year instead of being a freshman I got to have a feshman. upperclassman at my school "adopt" freshman every year and show them the ropes, help them with teachers. I ended up with three this year. John, who is a weirdo. He didn't know my name until a few weeks before the end of school. There was Lizzy who was in choir that I met through Loriza and everybody else at Outreach Choir. Then there was Charles. officially my first freshman. He's two months younger than me, so the only reason he's a freshman is that he didn't turn old enough to start school in time. He's funny, sweet, weird, aggravating, annoying, insane, amazing,. . .
. . .and I'm in love with him.
Ok I know, how many high schoolers can seriously fall in love. Geez, nobody will take me seriously on this. But I am sure. I love him. He's my best friend. I doubt he knows this. About a week before school got out I was flirting shamelessly all day with him, and at one point I looked him in the eyes and everything I felt was on display for him to see. About 10 minutes later, we were standing by the door together, alone, waiting for the bell to ring, and all the fine arts had a concert that night. He said that he was going to it. It was an excuse to go to a friends house. I asked which friend, naming one in particular whose name I knew. He said no, didn't even know if he was going. Then whose house was my response. The answer? His Girlfriends. Shocked me out of my mind. Hurt like hell. I always wonder if he saw that it hurt me that day.
I'm not jealous of the girl. I'm pissed at him. even more pissed at me. and all I want to do is be with him, to hear his voice, to talk to him. But I won't see him all summer. That's what hurts the most.
Love makes no sense whatsoever, and it's one of the most miraculous things in the world. Hurts like a million eternities in hell, and heals every wound you ever recieved. drives you beyond insanity, and brings you down to earth. Fills you up with the wildest joy, and drives you down to the deepest pits of depression. All that and more. I can't describe it. I hate it and I love it.
I've ranted enough. I'll let whoever happens to read this dwell on what I've said. Till a later time.