Chuck told Jesus to get off the cross; he needed a toothpick.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with an AK-47 and won.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
When Chuck Norris plays Battleship, all of the ships sink themselves in fear.
· Thu Jun 12, 2008 @ 10:30pm · 0 Comments