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Lanruoj of Moi

Community Member
one down, 13 to go
alrighty to start, today wasn't as bas as i thought it would be. i got to see poppy, hang out with laura for a little...go to work, although i'm not so sure that was all that exciting. lol. i came home and went for a walk with my dogs then picked up my bestest friend missy from work and hung out with her for a while. we eventually drove around lancaster city blaring 'barbie girl' yeah people were totally like "what the f*ck???" HA HA it was hilarious. anyway, that's why i love her! we are always up to no good, but it's all in good fun. so for the most part, it wasn't a jam-packed day but i got to spend time with a bunch of people i love and had a really good time. i had an interesting experience driving home though. for some reason i felt like a little piece of me just came loose and flew away in the breeze...i know that sounds psycho, but eh, it's what you get. lol. i've felt so many times before that i was being suffocated by some kind of overbearing sheild, not really sure how to deal with it's weight. i think this is why i've had so many issues before with dealing with being alone. too many thoughts and memories and feelings come up and just float and sit on my mind. before i wasn't strong enough emotionally, and probably physically, to handle it. and tonight while i was driving i was able to reminisce without feeling pain. it was nice. for once i was able to remember good from my somewhat horrific past. and this realization made me feel good and i felt like all those hard feelings i had or bad memories (about that subject anyway) just floated away. it's nice to know that something has cracked the shield and light is starting to shine through again. i feel like i am still my own person, still in control of what happens to me. not someone else. so, like i said, all in all it was a really good day. other than shin-splints kicking up, i feel great and for the first time in a very long time, i am relaxed to go to sleep without another body near me. good night everyone!! smile

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