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go ahead and read it.
check out my poems
Freedom isn't Free

They fight for our freedoms,
They fight overseas,
They fight for you,
They fight for me,
you dont take notice, [NOT FINISHED]
the risks they take,
they sacrifice all,
the cost, too great
They dont ask for much,
nothing to great,
why dont you try supporting them for a break.
You complain and complain, about the war they are in,
instead of helping, you demoralize them.






User Comments: [6] [add]
Flyleaf_vs_LP
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue May 20, 2008 @ 04:57am
This is cool


commentCommented on: Tue May 20, 2008 @ 05:26am
what ive seen here so far is just beautiful,please continue writing...hehe



TheOracleHalo
Community Member
Meiso
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sat May 24, 2008 @ 05:47am
It seems ok, just you must know that to and too are different.


commentCommented on: Mon Jun 09, 2008 @ 04:00am
You are off to a great start. 3nodding
I like the repetition in the beginning. ["They fight for" line] Honestly, it awakens power to your poem. Try some rhyming.

Suggestions:
Slice up the poem. [Divide the poem into stanzas or break up some lines.] 3nodding

I'm not trying to criticise you or anything like that, I'm just offering you some suggestions that would better your poem. 3nodding



ArmyBrat_Girl
Community Member
Kate _Is_Rawr
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue Jul 01, 2008 @ 06:31am
oOoOoO
i like this one to xD


commentCommented on: Sat May 16, 2009 @ 05:25pm
l2vietnam kiddo.

The war protesters today are nowhere near as bad as those of the 60s and 70s.
Plus, we have an army to protect those protesters right to protest, even against their own government.

heart

it's unfair to accuse them of being unpatriotic. Questioning your government is one of the most patriotic things you can do. Just think of how we gained our independence from Britain.



RedFortune
Community Member
User Comments: [6] [add]
 
 
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