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Kris's life
ok... so i decided i'm going to do this (finally) and put all my crazy stuff out for everyone to see
Bald Guy Dating Service, Anyone?
Ok.... so.... This whole thing started with Pie telling me that I could PM her or send her disturbing images of bald guys to her whenever I want... so I did.... We had a lot of fun with this xd

PieHippie
Krislovejmt
PieHippie
Krislovejmt
PieHippie
Krislovejmt
PieHippie
Krislovejmt
PieHippie
Krislovejmt
PieHippie
Krislovejmt
This one was talking to you on gaia yesterday wink wink
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eek eek HOLY s**t. *hides under my bed* ninja

He'd better watch out. My Internet boyfriend will find him and beat him up.


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ISN'T HE HAWT? He says he's 18, captain of his baseball team, and he likes long walks on the beach!! whee
In fact, that's a picture of him on the beach. He says I should come visit him in Hawaii, where he lives in his 6-bedroom 8-bathroom mansion which is right on the beachfront! But he says I can't tell my parents, because they wouldn't understand. *nods* blaugh

LIKE OMG! You better tell him that he needs to start checking up on you! I LIKE TOTALLY saw this "17 year old HAWT N SEXI football player that likes long walks on the beach and really RESPECTS women" looking in your window
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He seems to be pretty happy over what he saw sweatdrop


eek eek eek
.....Ok, allow me to set the scene.
It's dark outside, and my parents are out. The only other person home is my sister, and she's upstairs taking a shower or something. I open this message, see this freakish picture, and paranoid-like, I glance out the window. Nothing. I turn back to the computer, relieved, and hear a banging at my front door. I almost go into cardiac arrest, thinking it is a scary bald man. *nods*

Fortunately, it was just my brother and his best friend, and they both have full heads of hair. blaugh
It's hilarious now, but it was freaky for a few minutes there. Perfect timing with this PM. xd

Just for almost causing me death, I'm going to send my Internet buddy Bobo Jeb to your house! He's teh SOOPER HAWT 17 year old star of his high school basketball team who says he's a real romantic at heart, and will give you flowers and chocolate on every date!!



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...No, no! Not you!

This one!


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See? He's all spiffed up and everything for your first IRL date!!!!111111!!!!! whee

rofl rofl rofl rofl
This is definitely going to be another one for the journal

This guy is his UBER sexy best friend who drives a candy apple red mustang, makes 3000000000OMGWTFBBQ Dollars a year, AND he thinks all women are beautiful! I gave him your number mrgreen

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He just can't wait to meet you!


*swoons* heart
Why I just ADORE men who drive candy apple red mustangs! And those glasses...*faints*

This guy is my window stalker's cousin. He's been the County Bingo Champion for the past 5 years and currently resides in the lovely Sundance Center for Retired Persons. He'd love to take you as his date to all the exciting activities the center has to offer, such as crafts, water aerobics, frozen yogurt in the social room, and of course, his favorite activity, bingo!
As an added bonus, he still retains some of his hair, though he is losing it rapidly.
As you can se, he really hopes you're his special lady!
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I'm having so much fun making these up and reading yours. We should work for Eharmony or something. xd

We should! rofl

This guy is the window stalker's cousin's sister's daughter's ex-boyfriend's kid from Omaha. He loves Elvis Presley, and his BOWLING SHOES! He enjoys bowling, extramarital sex, and his BOWLING SHOES! He's waiting to meet you and share his extremely fun, outgoing personality.... and his BOWLING SHOES!

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NOOOO! I can't see it! The dreaded red X! gonk I'll never see the the man and love I've been destined for! *turns on Michael Bolton records and curls up on the sofa in a little sobbing ball* crying crying

This one work?
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YES! *sobs tears of joy*
rofl rofl rofl Those BOWLING SHOES are great! I want some!

So, next door to this guy's bowling alley is this TRENDY AN O SOOOHIP club and bar, The Honkin' Rusty Spork. Our next UBER SMEXY bachelor plays there with his HAWT polka-death metal band, Johann Strudel and The Jolly Brass Accordion Baby-Eating Dutchmen!!!!!!!111111!!!11!!! This STUNNING 21-year old is quite popular with the ladies, but all he wants is that one special someone. He's a skilled musician and would also love to take you out dancing!(Gently though, he has bunions.) He also enjoys spongebaths and worshipping the dark lord Satan. Won't you be his muse?????????????

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Our next man up for auction is "Simon"
Simon is a functioning autistic who hails from Glucenshiner Guinea. He enjoys afro wigs, marijuana, drunken incessant rambling, wearing women's panties, competitive urinating, and Connect 4. He's a professional drag queen, who some times moon lights as "Sally Slutshoes" for the "Green Back Cheerleaders" band in "Wheres Waldo?" New Hampshire. CALL HIM NOW!
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eek rofl eek rofl
Translation: I'm dying of laughter and shuddering in terror simultaneously.
There's no way I can top that. Game, set, and match to you! xd


Krislovejmt
Community Member
  • 04/24/11 to 04/17/11 (1)
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  • 04/27/08 to 04/20/08 (1)
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