In her calm but firm way, Lucinda took control of the situation. Eventually all the guests were gone and we were left in peace. I did not want peace. I wanted my mother.
For some reason I have no memory of my nieces and nephew at the funeral. Maybe Lucinda shipped them off somewhere for the day. I remember them afterwards though. Unusually quiet.
And so we set to sorting through my mother’s possessions, six of us, the four children and the two spouses. My father would only come out occasionally to claim some item he did not wish to part with.
Somehow, I ended up with most of my mother’s jewellery. Mary said she would feel wrong taking it, and Lucinda said she had no need of it, now she had three children. She took a few pieces that mother had designated where to be hers, and my father took a few pieces for pure sentiment, but the rest went to me. A small fortune from a rich man to his loving wife. I never thought I would find I need for it all.
We were all amazed at how many of our childhood memories our mother had kept. Toys, clothing, artwork, teeth even.
Jack suddenly felt very connected to his first teddy, and was found that night asleep in his own vomit, clutching the bear like a lover. “Here lies Lokershire’s future owner.” Lucinda said in disgust when she and Matt found him.
Matt went for long walks, sometimes I would go with him and we would try to talk like we always did. But the silence kept returning.
My two nieces Rose and Beth were playing tea parties with my old dolls
“Aunty Mildred, when is Grandma coming back?”
Part of me wanted to run away, to let their mother answer the question.
But part of me also knew that was why they were asking me.
So instead I sit down with them
“She’s not coming back.”
“Why not? Doesn’t she love us anymore?”
Beth sucked her thumb; I pulled her onto my knee.
“She loved you both very much. But…she broke, and no one knew how to fix her.”
“Oh.” said Rose like it all made sense now.
Beth cuddled up to me.
Somehow it helped me too.
Lucinda decided we needed to get a housekeeper.
“Why? I can look after the house perfectly fine.” I rebutted.
“Maybe, but you don’t need all that responsibility to be dumped on you now. And you probably won’t be around for much longer.”
“What do you mean?” I had no plan of going anywhere.
“Well you are eighteen now Mildred, you need to start looking towards your future, getting married.”
 Dewdew · Tue Apr 15, 2008 @ 08:59pm · 4 Comments |
