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crying I sent the message a long time ago, "I do NOT like drama." When I go to Blockbuster I don't even go into the drama section. Lighthearted Comedy Romances with lots of cheesy innuendos and predictable/unrealistic endings. As a child my writings and reading surrounded fictional characters and post-disney, pre-teenage romance, picture of love.

>_< Good Lord, how much s**t do people expect me to take? gonk Give me a break, I have life outside of school and internet.

Post-Agenda:

Monday...Open my eyes to the mirror for the first time in days. too much thinking.
Tuesday...My uncle has Cancer can't think at all.
Wednesday...No sleep =_= time to take some baby steps and take out the things that are hard to make out.
Thursday...Recovering by actually studying
Friday...No one gets it...no one to talk to...I sure can ******** up my life, can't I?

So basically, I passed out, rolled over here to the computer chair.

Gave up my last dollar for a soda that I'm not sure I even sure I tasted in the first place. Didn't even get it. And then I read, "Insert Dollar" You've experienced it before, you're cussing out the machine when it was you who put in the quarter.

Only a few people on here can look at that sentence and figure how much it relates to my life and week and relationships.

Now here I am. I don't have the heart to heal the ones I've hurt let alone the other people I care about. Does anyone get it? ANYONE? I care about you I FREAKING WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU... I don't know how many other ways there are to say that, but that's how I can right now.

I don't know what you want, you're making this complicated. Damn it, I have other things going on, and for some god damn reason I'm cursed to stop and think "Hey, how come soandso is walking slower than usual. Do they need something?" or "She's not smiling today, better strike up a conversation." or "Say, where did his laugh go? I'd usually hear it by now."

When I got other things to do,
I stop to think about you.
I don't know what else to say
but have very ******** up day.
Like me you don't know
how I feel when you go.
Simplicity is a thing of the past.
Complex things come and go fast.
In the darkest hour I stand,
sinking down as if it were quick sand.
I yell to someone I got to get out of here,
but it's not your's it's my fear.
My voice grows weak.
I forget how to speak.
It's not you it's me.
That's why you can't see.

Soundtrack of the week

All songs are found on my playlist
Disclaimer: Most of these have nothing to do with you, but whatever...i don't care. Good lyrics. Fitting to my life.

How You Remind Me by Nickleback (new fettish)
Age Ain't Nothing But a Number by Aaliyah
Bring Me to Life by Evanescence
What's Left of Me by Nick Lachey
Scars by Papa Roach
Pretty Baby by Eric Benet
Simple and Clean by Utada Hikaru
I don't Want to be in Love by Good Charlotte
Unpretty by TLC