Yesterday, I was at the pool with my mom, my little sister, and some of my mom's friends and their daughters. Whenever I go to the pool, I just love to observe people.
I found that watching the people around my age was particularly upsetting to me.
First of all, there were the girls. Now, I'm not going to say they were fat or anything, but they jiggled. I don't jiggle; I do crunches and other exercises every night to make sure of that. So that makes them wrong.
Second of all, there were the stupid Freshmen (now Sophomore, I guess) guys. They're immature. I danced with one of them at the Military Ball a while ago, but ever since then I've felt like I just want to strangle him.
And, of course, there were the middle school kids. I have reason to believe that all girls in middle school are sluts. "Ohmygod, I'm growing boobs, I think I need to show them to every guy that happens to walk by!!!" They're also immature. And I hope they get the STDs to show their teenage stupidity.
Then I realized:
I only hate these people because I seem to hate myself.
Why should those girls be the ones with boyfriends, when I'm the one who works her a** off making sure my body stays fit and I'm not gaining weight?
They were the main people I really had a hard time with. And you could tell they were really self-conscious yesterday. The one kept messing with her bikini bottom, and the other kept crossing her arms over her stomach. If it were me, that would have been the sign that I needed to start working out. You shouldn't have to feel self-conscious when you're at the pool. You're supposed to be having fun.
The fact that the only guys I attract are the ones who just want to get into my pants upsets me, too.
Obviously, I have sex appeal.
But I guess when guys look at me, they don't see the girlfriend "type".
Just someone to bang.
Funny thing is, I've let some of these guys walk all over me.