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I don't know what to do... everything I've attempted has screwed up things worse every time. I'm depressed and I can't deal with what's happening. I want to run away but at the same time I couldn't stand being away. If I do nothing, all I do is think about it, but if I try to help, I make things worse...

I never wanted it to be that way... I just wanted everyone to be happy...

I feel like I've lost almost everyone who I ever counted on to be there for me. There are honestly only two people right now I can go to who aren't trying to tell me how much of a moron and I am and/or to just walk away from everything or keep my mouth shut. How am I suppose to just move on like that? I know I need to but I don't even want to...

I know it's for the best... that's why I have to try... but every fiber of me is struggling against that logic.

I'm absolutely miserable and I feel like there's nothing I can do except try to choke the feelings down ... but I miss you... I'm sorry...

Some people like to call this crying out for attention. They may be right. But I think of it more as a cry for help... I've never felt more alone.

Call me a drama whore if you want. Go ahead. But this is my ******** journal, and it goes out to the people who care enough. ( if there are any left. )

Don't call me over-dramatic if you can't actually feel what I've been feeling for the past few days.

A friend once told me that if something makes you cry, it's never stupid.

User Comments: [4] [add]
Community Member
commentCommented on: Sat Feb 09, 2008 @ 05:00pm
I can't say I understand how you feel, but I hope everything works out for you. : )

commentCommented on: Wed Feb 13, 2008 @ 07:00am
Ohh hey! Long time no see ^^.

Anyway back to the point.
Seems like lots of people are getting moody this month,
and I'm getting stressed all over trying to fix stuff
but then I just trip up. x_X
Probably why I'm not on so much anymore.

And to come up with a statement like this... you just can't be a moron. =)
Hey, it's normal. Many people go through this.
(I mean I feel weird commenting on a journal I haven't commented on before in a long time ^^".)

Well my recommendation... hm...
show everyone that you're confident and that you won't give up on things.
And also if you think you're doing things worse, ask people how you can improve on that and work it out. 2+ minds are better than 1. ^^

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Community Member
commentCommented on: Wed Feb 13, 2008 @ 04:59pm
Thank you for the comment guys. This is the most comments I've ever gotten ever. O_o

Hishioku: Thank you... I hope things work out for me somehow too, if not the way I hope, at least in someway. Maybe in a better way.

Ecco: Yeah it's been a while. ^^; Hmm sounds like you're definitely feeling alot like I've been... it's an awful thing, isn't it? You try to do what you think is best, or even what you feel is right in your heart, and somehow all the answers are wrong. I know everyone goes through this at one point or another in their life, but when it happens, no one ever likes it and consolation and sympathy isn't always going to make things better ( for yourself )

Well even though to be honest giving up would probably be the best thing to do for everyone, I just don't feel like doing that would be right at all. I want to keep hoping in something no matter what the odds are and that I may be hurt. So I probably won't give up, at least not for a long time and when I feel truly ready to do so. Most peoples' advice on how to improve on doing things right is just leaving things to go their natural course, so... even though it is helpful advice, it is very 'itchy' if you understand the term.

Sorry for the horribly long reply. Once again thank you for your concerns.

commentCommented on: Wed Feb 13, 2008 @ 11:10pm
Ehhh I must not be very clear because I typed this almost @ midnight.

Yeah I guess fairness over-weighs morality most of the time. I mean when something you think is right or moral is wrong because of some law or standard to be fair.
But then it's usually for the best, liked or not.

Well perhaps giving up positively works too. Sometimes things become too unfair to deal with.

Seems like there are a lot of 'itchy loopholes' in this one. =
I can see in this case...
Let's say a guy has just witnessed a murder and is frightened of it
and the next day his best friend asks him out to see a murder-themed movie.
That situation can't be fixed. D=
So yeah, only time can tell for that.

Community Member
User Comments: [4] [add]
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