Here I am, in a wonderful little emo mood at the moment. Why, some of you may ask? Well the answer is simple! Its that little emotion we hold so dear, and the one that ******** us over the most. Yes, I am referring to love! For the past...I think 9 months I've loved this girl. I've felt this way since the day I met her. Alas I was never able to meet her standards and she didnt want me. She only wanted to be my friend, because to her I was "the bestest guy friend she'd ever had." I didnt want to be her friend, I only wanted to be more. Knowing she didnt want me...It hurt. Not being with her...It hurt. Watching every other guy that came by get a chance, but not me...It hurt. After a while, I got tired, and stopped talking to her (after a little yelling and all).
Some things that drove me over the edge...
1) There was a guy (an EXTREMELY shy guy) who told her he wanted to ask her a question. He said that it began with "Will" and ended with "Me." And this guy was damn shy...I mean, whenever she sat next to him he moved away, and he didnt even look at her when he talked to her. Well, she said to him "Are you going to ask me out." And he said no. So, I was under the impression that he wasnt going to ask her out. The next day I worked up the courage and asked her out (stupidly over the internet...what a dumbass I was.) And of course she said no. She said "He was going to ask me out and you knew that, he told me today." (Which I honestly didnt.) So that friday he asked her out, and she said yes. This loser didnt even look at her when he asked her out, and he didnt talk to her really at all that night. Of course, I was sad. But what really pissed me off is that 2 ******** days later she posted in her xanga "I broke up with him today. I realized he's just not my type." WHAT THE ********! She turns me down to go out with another guy, and then breaks up with him two ******** days later. Nope, she doesnt seem like a b***h right there.
2) This ones kinda selfish, but sometimes I just get ******** tired of letting everyone else have something I want. I meet her, and I instantly like her. She knew this. She met one of my other friends that day...and after a few hours she says "Oh, I think I like him!" (It turns out he only wanted to be her ******** buddy). So after that she meets another one of my friends, and she ends up liking him to. I mean, ******** man, I'd known her for a few weeks at that time and had gotten nothing, but after a few hours with 2 of my friends she likes them. And then with the second friend she stops liking him, and said so in her xanga. But to keep him from being sad she said that it was another guy she had stopped liking and it wasnt him.
3) About a week before I met her she had broken up with her boyfriend she'd been going out with for a few months. And for a few months afterwards she had been all sad about it. And of course, I was the outlet. He was an a** to her, I got to hear about it. For quite a while she had her heart broken by him. He said he'd meet her and all but then he wouldnt show and he'd b***h at her. This was horrible, he cheated on her, he kept toying with her heart, he was always an a** when his friends were around but was supposedly nice when they werent. For the longest time I had told her to let him go. He would never change. And she never listened to me. One day I started yelling at her about it. I told her to that if she wasnt going to ******** listen to me when I tried to be nice about I might as well yell. Told her I ******** give up, go get your heart broken. Called her...I think it was "Stupid naive little b***h." (Which she took real offense to) And then I blocked her. The next ******** day she says how shes not going to be his "fallback girl" anymore and that she was sorry. I was so ******** pissed off.
To some, this all may seem stupid. To others, they may understand. But to me....well it all broke my heart.
A pointless little post, I know. And it wasnt really thought out. But at least it was something.
Dark Carbunkle Community Member 
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