Hm. It's been a while, Journal-san.
I have to admit, I like it better when I can write something eloquent and completely from the heart. I feel like I can make every entry significant if I talk about something I really care about.
I just read my last journal entry a couple minutes ago...and, well...now I don't really feel I should have reacted so strongly. I think sometimes when things like that happen, I need to realize that everything in this world is fleeting, and things blow over. A lot. I've been noticing that lately.
But then what of the things I don't want to blow over?
Humans are such confusing beings. I can't even understand myself, much less the people around me. I feel like everyone else's feelings are so simple...
And why can't I shake this feeling...the fear of abandonment, never feeling good enough...always worried about what people think about me, if they really want me around...or if the only things binding them to me are my actions.
I've said it once, I'll say it again. I really wish I didn't think so far into everything.
Whenever something seems too good to be true, I worry and worry until all my worries come true. Why? Because so far, everything has been too good to be true.
I don't want to go back to being depressed over this crap; I don't want to hide the way I feel to everyone either. Hopefully I can just....stay happy.
But...nothing lasts forever.
Why can't I just enjoy it while it's here?
Why am I so fixated on the end?
I think I've been repeating this issue for a while.
Someone should drug me.
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Boheme's Journal
You know the drill.
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Goose1125 Community Member 
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a lot of the time i don't even know what to do and my mind wont ever shut up.
but like you said it seems that it's always too good to be true.
i have the same abandonment issues, but to the point where i crave attention just to know that i'm cared about, but this only annoys people.
i often feel like people can't like me because i'm not fun enough or cool enough or hot enough.
the worst thing is...because i feel this way..i push people away.
sometimes i even push away the best of my friends.
it's not that i mean to and i see that i'm doing it, but there is something inside me that tells me that i have to act this way.
it's horrible, i want it to stop and i just don't know how.
how do normal people deal?
i just don't understand it sometimes.
well eitherway hun, i hope you feel better. we all love you. gen rocks our socks or at the very least she rocks mine.