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The game of life can be pretty ******** annoying. Especially if you're not honest with yourself.
I have been going to CSUMB since 2005. Why did I come here? Before I'd give some lame excuse, like it's a good school, but now I've started being honest with myself: I came here for some online friends. Good friends, but that's no way to go about my future. Unfortunately, those friends have moved on, and now I'm stuck alone.
So besides being a loner now at school, I've also been ******** with my major and studies here. I'm interested in game design. I love games and I think they're interesting. But now I'm not so sure anymore. It's really ******** competitive and getting an education for the field is tedious, confusing, and just plain frustrating, especially when the faculty at your university don't understand what it is as well as you do and when there's not much that your school has to offer as far as courses go.
I'm thinking, I'm not going to get so wrapped around becoming a game designer. That's probably the wrong way to go about it anyway. I know I'm not happy going about it the way I am. In fact, I'm not happy at all here. It's like being trapped in a cage all alone. CSUMB just isn't cutting it for me anymore.
I've had some good times at CSUMB. I met Greg here. I have a few good friends. Not awesome like Derek & Jeran have been to me, but good friends nevertheless. But in the end, I've got to do what makes me happy. I'm not happy here, so I've got to take a look around, follow my heart, and make a move.
I talked with Greg, and I think I'm going to transfer to SFSU (that's San Francisco State University). They've got a lot going there, especially in their arts. I think I've been ignoring my artistic talent for far too long, though I don't have much confidence in my professional art skills. I definitely need to work on some stuff. But I know I enjoy art, and that it makes me happy. So I'm going to go for it, even if it isn't as glamorous as game design.
I'll probably try to transfer in late 2008 or sometime in 2009. Greg only has a year left here after he gets back from Japan, but it would be best for me to transfer sooner rather than later. He'll possibly go there to get his masters in Japanese anyway. Until the transfer, I'm going to stick to Integrated Studies, and try to prepare myself as best as I can for the transfer. It'll also be easier, not having to deal with all the ITCD crap.
This semester has been a real eye-opener for me. Especially this last week. I really have to thank Derek & Jeran, they helped me unwind and the awesome time I had with them really gave me an idea of just how twisted my experience here at CSUMB has been. I've been living a lie for the past 5 semesters, and it's kinda relieving to be able to acknowledge that now.
And Derek & Jeran are totally awesome, for all those who don't know that yet (there can't be many). They're my best friends now~ We're all a bunch of sexy gay perverts, and thats the best kinda group, right?
SykoSilver · Fri Nov 30, 2007 @ 03:58am · 2 Comments |
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