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Why be content with what happens in your life on a regular basis? 'Cause it's more then what other people.
My life is perfect, fantastic. The things i don't like about it are trivial. I'm too nit picky about it. I have friends but i want more friends. I want to see the world outside of the americas, and i said americaS! I've been to almost every country in latin america, to several states in the U.S... I want to see Asia, Australia, Europe.. Not enough money though.
my mom loves me right? She just wants the best for me, but she is suffocating me. Just this week my mom picked out the curtains in my room, the new cellphone i got, and how the new furniture in my room should look like, without asking me. I don't mean to sound like a spoiled brat, which is probably what i'm coming off as, but i don't like anything she got me. And i'm grateful i have this stuff and i'm grateful they wasted money on me. They just should have consulted me before buying all those things that i don't like and that seemingly can not be returned.
And whats up with school? Yes people would kill to go to school, people would love to read, people would love to have an education. Blah Blah Blah. I like school it keeps me occupied, what i can't stand are the, incredibly dumb people in my classes. Why did God give the stupid people the loud voices? Why? These idiots, mainly boys, laugh at the stupidist thing say Arroz con pollo that makes the laugh, and considering I go to an International school in a latin country and that most of the kids in my spanish class come from said country where Arroz con pollo is a national food i have no idea whats so funny about it.
They're also rude. never saying please or thanking. Shoving you aside. They see you eat at a table they sit down, at your table with your friends, ignore you and friends, drag there stupid friends over and you eventually get pushed out by them.
What the hell is up with beign stuck in a rute with the same s**t over and over again? How can someone live the same way for 14yrs or more? how can they? I'm ready to shoot myself. I'm so bored and nothing seems to change. Everything stays the same. Where is the spontaneity? How can people live such routine lives?
I'm blahbing like a stupid idiot and no one pays attention. I talk to much and i'm a smartass. One of my friends has been eaten up by social pop culture and greets me by saying whore and b***h, even though i have asked her to stop. She also uses the word orgasm to much. You know what i just saw when i wrote culture? CULTure. Pop culture. It's a cult. which would explain the mass delirium which has read global proportions just to label and fit and by in and get swallowed whole by some stupid machine that dictates conformity, it dictates routine, it says you can't be different. those that claim to be different really are disappointing because they're not that different.
then again it's hard to be different in a planet full of 6.5 BILLION people. Most of them having similar pop culture to your own. IT's also depressing if you think about how there is almost no intrigue left in the world, everything has been discovered, theorized, written down, names have been taken, and everything is just horrific. It's like when pouring grave over the mashed potatoes. If you're like me you want the grave just on your potatoes and then it starts overlapping into your other foods. I hate it when juices from my food clash together.
I discovered something fascinating. Everyone in my problems has trouble socializing. one of my brothers is autistic. My father, whose family had the autisim, is sorta autistic. Never shuts up. My mother is very shy and unsure of what to talk about with people. My oldest brother is social he is the model of perfect social skills, except he sucks to have a conversation with because he is always right. I have most of these traits too. Just because i'm young.
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The world feels like it's spiraling out of control. That's fine and dandy c'est la vie. Everything that occurs to you you did to yourself. It's just annoying when most of your friends have trouble with that and go over board in they're behavior. I have a friend, same one who calls me whore and b***h, perfect candidate for anorexia she doesn't eat. I have seen her throw a plate against the wall because she didn't like the food. She screams, she shouts, she throws a tantrum, she cries. She is completely out of control no self control our limitations.
Then again maybe one should live without limitations. Maybe she is right in her behavior. She seems to be confidante and overall happy. Maybe she should be the model of how one should live? I dunno. Don't care frankly i just want to leave this ******** country. I just want to leave this life. I want to live somewhere else nice. I want to be someone else. but i can't c'est la vie. Nothing i can do.
lots of love crazy-
 Senora Cuckoo · Thu Nov 22, 2007 @ 02:56am · 0 Comments |
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