Ever have one of those days where you know that you've screwed things up beyond repair? I've just had one of those. My heart is breaking in two and I don't know what to do about it. I've tried to apologize, but no matter what I say, it's beyond that... far beyond. It feels like I have nowhere to turn, no place to hide, no sanctuary in which I can forget what I've done. Why? Why do I do this every single time? Why do I ruin good things? My life is a constant of never-ending foul ups that I know I shouldn't be doing. I know it, but I still do it. Over and over again. More and more, I ******** things up.
God, my heart hurts so much that I wish I could rip it out. It feels like I'm slowly bleeding to death and there is no reprieve. I want my heart to stop aching, my eyes to stop burning, and my mind to shut the ******** up. I want my brain to be blank-- my eyes unseeing-- my heart unfeeling-- my mouth unspeaking. I want to take every single word I uttered and lock them away forever, never to be heard again, never to be thought again. Why do I screw things up? Why?
 Veyrgei · Fri Oct 05, 2007 @ 03:16am · 0 Comments |
