People believe that shunning me and throwing me aside and making fun of me will bring them closer by hating me together. well... ive lived through this before. drama drama drama... bringing up my bad traits to use against me... ok.... well fyi you all have bad traits too. no ones perfect. ppl believe what they want and theres nothing i can do to change that.
example. people will bring up me doing regretable things to try and hurt me. what is the goal? i just wanna know... colleen's mean. colleen says dirty things online. she said you make dumb excuses not to come to her house. colleen says you hit on her. colleen says your a whore. colleen is the whore. colleen's a b***h. i love nick(omg how effing irrelovent is that?!?!??!) colleen gave her number out to a guy she actually had feeling for and felt she understod him and vise versa. colleen's an emo. colleen is ugly. she is fat. her nose is kinda big. she acts better than everyone. she crawls back to her friends.
colleen stayed on the phone witth while i was lonely and actually listened when i explained i was lonely when i said i felt my family ignored me. colleen talked about ways i could switch her school cause i was having problems with people at mine. and from someone who probably wont read... "you are one of my friends. so many times i probably would have died and you talked me out of it. i consider you my best friend even though i hardly know you."
this doesnt apply to most people.
ive made mistakes in the past and there is nothing i can do to fix them. ive done things i regret. what do you want me to do? kill myself so i stop ruining your perfect air? its not gonna work that way.
cause even though i have many faults i can still sit back and have a nice laugh.
cause its so immature. and i can look beyond it all. its fun.... i may not get good grades but people have become so predictable. i love you all... even thoughs who hate me. cause its nice to sit and watch. its like you are putting a rope around your neck. go ahead and share some hate for me. in truth you will never really know me. people have known me for years and still dont know why i do the things i do. and i still dont know why everytime someone dies ppl start to hate me. it doesnt matter... my boyfriend apparently talks more to a person he told me he hates than he does me. i just now realize... life's veiw on social issues is stupid. you may have a good laugh with someone but... have you shared an understanding? i believe you dont truely know someone unless you laughed AND cried together. when my grandpa died i found that death is inevitable and painful but in the end its better in ways. i found out more about my family during taht deuration of time and i love him now more than ever. when my grandpa JOHN died i realized that everyone is always right. because it goes with their points of veiw. when his current wife refused to give back my nana's posessions she was clinging to what she had left of her husband. but on my famikly's side we were trying to get back the parts of our dceased family member as well. it all depends on how you look at it. there are some people you are just meant to stay away from. because your points of veiw will always be different.
anyway.... now i know a lot about human nature. and i believe a have a stable point of veiw in life.
the reason i cant hold a grudge is because i hate the feeling of tension. when your in a room and when they enter you just wanna leave. when they look at you, you wanna spit in their face.
how when they laugh you are tempted to mimic it because it sounds so horrid like a dog trying to barf.
anyway... gaia was fun in the beginning. it was 'great fun' but now... eh... the best thing taht came from it would be the few good friends i found.
i love ya adam and you can find me on MSN
i will split my remaining belongings amongst my donatores(unless they quit or are no longer on my list
and the reason im leaving is because gaia has turned into drama and ppl doing what they can to hurt me or w/e i dont care. this is my last sentiment.
stef and kylie congrats. you got me off a website razz
and right now you both talk about me and believe each other... trust me.. you may laugh at me but i am laughing oh so harder at you. cause now that im gone... whoes next?
gosh... i could write everything ive heard from each f you about each other but heres the thing... taht would mean all those days of church against gossip and the fact i matured faster in this subject...
i would just be taking a step backwards.
so tell everyone the truth among lies about me.
tell them im an internet whore.
tell them im emo
say i ate all the ppl shorter than me(which i did)
just tell them the opposite of what they know.
im positive theyll believe ya
and those who dont... are the ones i really wanna have a friendship with
kylie stop calling.you called me while you were talking behind my back and just PLEASE lose my number. stef dont try to talk to me like everything is ok tomorrow you have gone to far. holding a grudge is hard for me but ive never been so determined. if you were thinking youd just verbally hurt me then laugh and say "i was mad and kylie said so and so. i know you told frank to go read your comments. that shows you wanted to impress each other and others.
you say im pathetic? take a step back and think about all youve said to me. if it really had aprupose and what it would achive. stef you were fun and a good friend even though i have been misleaded many times and if you ever start to think for yourself then let me know mrgreen
i dont care at this poit who you turn against me. even if you manage to turn kailob against me i wont care now. i cant deside if im more disappointed or angry.
its funny though... you and kylie both sent me messages... you saying go away after asking a favor and her asking if i was really saying i hated her. i probably said i hated her while we were fighting in comments. i wont deny that because im not positive i didnt. and stef make up your mind. if we say your a whore youd laugh and if trevor said it you would say thank you. and now you decided youll be offended.... alright. just do me a favor and both leave me out of it. im not gonna play.
Full of magically random things.