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the thing I'll prolly never write in... the title pretty much says it all. I have a livejournal that I post in more, and thats maybe once a week. I may at least let people know when I'm gone for long periods... and why. I tend to take long absences alot.


Dracoya
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Listen to your heart...
Trying to work out plans for the birthday, but figure it will just be considered as the Haujobb show and whatever afterparty taketh place. I may go out for sushi before the show, if anyone wants to join up for said, call me. Though I like eating alone too, the guy who makes the sushi is kinda cute.

I found the awesomest of purple nail polishes.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v127/bladedbutterfly/nails.jpg


So anyways.

Work is interesting, I've switched to 4 10hr morning shifts, which means I get Tues, Weds and Thurs off.... which unfortunately means I cant stay out late on thurs nights due to having to work in the morning, but oh well. I love having 3 days off, I dont like only having 2 days off. I'm still gonna try to get the shift of awesomeness (a late shift w/ friday sat sun off instead) but who knows. Because the schedule week runs sat - fri though, with this shift change I have had to work 8 days straight... I'm tired... also I am not complaining, but I've been housesitting for two people this weekend, although I'm actually enjoying sleeping at the other house instead of here, its... comforting.

I dont like staying with my parents, even if I am helping out with bills... its just... meh. I like being self sufficent. Its been really rough to get my head straight after... everything that happened. Things are sorting out, I'm almost completely caught up... with my next check I will be completely caught up on all my bills and be able to do a little maintence to my poor car, pay off my ticket and get my liscence and insurance back. I need to get a new rear bumper, either from the warehouse place that I know or the junkyard, will try the yard first though, of course. Also need the passenger's bracket though. Bleh. Hopefully I can get insurance without them notice the slight tilt of my front bumper. heh. I have a new front bumper but the metal that it attaches to is whats crooked. *sigh* I havent been able to take it apart yet to gather what I need to do.

I havent talked much about... well, theres a guy that I like. And while I'm trying not to care, to stay unnattached and distant... its... difficult. Expecially as he keeps saying and doing sweet things and being... awesome. But I've always just had to live with a feeling... I'm not allowed to have nice things. And how many times its been proven to me, the abuse I've gone though, and my medical problems on top of it. Its hard to have dreams or hope anymore. Its annoying.

Questions keep cycling in my head about this move. I'm ready for it, every plan is in place, and yet as time goes by I feel that I'm getting... closer... with friends that are still here and not planning on moving... I dont mean to, and I'm not saying its a bad thing. There are a few people I will miss, a few I will miss badly, almost enough to not want to go. I have commitments, plans, a job lined up, a place to stay, friends up there that I want to be closer with. Yes, the guy is up there. Look down on me if you want for it, I'm making sure I have several other reasons than that, because there's hardly a chance of it. But at least there are more people up there, bigger gene pool... etc. I've lived in tulsa longer than anywhere I have since I was a kid... and even still I've moved around alot just in tulsa. But... no matter. The plans are in motion, commitments have been made. One of two criteria will be met for me to leave, either 3k is saved up, or march 1st arrives. And that is all.

I have Flyleaf - All around me stuck in my head.




 
 
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