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umm...My journal
This journal will have whatever I put in it but I think I might put some poetry since I've been inspired lately
Im doing this for closure Its been a long time since it happened but it still hurts so i know he'll probably never read this but here i go....



"Read this and read this carefully, No matter what happens i'll always want us to be friends...even if we arn't together...if you have a problem with me then i'll fix it...if I have a problem with you i'll forgive you...i'm not going anywhere..."

Do you remember this? Does your word mean nothing? I put alot of trust in those words and all you could say was that reality was to blame, the reality of the situation was that all we needed was a car,money and an address. When you really care for someone, truly, you'd drop everything just to be with them.Your supposed to have the most hope when the situation is hopeless, Did you even care? Or were you just screwing with me. Do you even know how much it hurt, did you feel anything afterwards? All those nights....Did they mean Nothing! Oh and your one to talk about over coming obsticles for love. I shed so many tears over you, I hurt for you and all you said was reality!! Dont give me that bullshit! Before you I was semi closed off, you know not letting anyone get to close, not letting anyone know the real me then you came along, brightened up my day,my life.i wasnt closed off anymore. I Loved someone, someone i would do anything for, someone that
i loved to make happy and felt that i had to make happy so i could be happy, so we could be happy. But no you had to go and leave! you had to crush my hope and heart like that. I will never trust anyone like that again, i will never let anyone in ever again! The pain is just to much, but i know i will get over it. Ill never forget it, I will forgive but i will never forget. You just dont do that to people, you dont gain there trust and then destroy they're dreams and hope. but thats what people do and thats why this world is a horrible place and that is why i have absolutely no problem with dying. Its a way to leave to just go to a different place.Stop feeling,thats what i want, just to go...... but I am in no way suicidal! get that straight lol well i guess i am Angry at you and im sad and hurt and i have something ive wanted to say to you for a LONG time........ BE HAPPY,Please just be happy. Find the girl of your dreams, live under the stars, share a strong Love, and smile. And dont you dare do to any other girl what you did to me, Dont LIE to them, when you say you love someone Mean it! Dont feed them a load of bullshit like you did me, Be there for them, make them happy, Truly love your one............Dont Forget To Smile.......

I Still care for You


Ill never forget the bad and i will always remember the good. Be happy. your in my prayers 3nodding SSMMIILLLEEE! xd lol
Sincerely, me
.Stephanie.






User Comments: [3] [add]
Volcano Man
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Aug 20, 2007 @ 10:56am
hey, hear that? Its THE CROWD!! THEY WANT MORE!!! LISTEN....

*chanting*VAMPRITES! VAMPRITES! lol


commentCommented on: Tue Oct 02, 2007 @ 03:29am
Well...I read it. I can't say I'm too happy with the choices I made in the past...Just recently I did remember that promise...I'm so sorry...If I could go back in time I would change it all...but we both know that is impossible...
Well if you will still take me...I would love to be your friend again.
I'm so sorry...I know you might just say "It's okay" or something like that...but I know it's not okay...I'm not okay...Lately you've come back into my thoughts, but I fear if we go back to the way we were before...I'd just do it again...



EverBe
Community Member
Leyo Outuna de Manti
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Tue Aug 05, 2008 @ 11:09am
I'm so damn tired of hurting people all the time...falling in love with one for so long, hoping for so long that it last...I knew the whole time that I might do this, but I never wanted to hurt you!
If you want the truth here it is, I was scared!
Scared because in reality I am so much different than who you knew me to be. In reality I show no emotion, I never look happy or sad or upset because I contain them in myself. I could never do that, and to this day I still have trouble with it. I did it to you, and I did it to her, the girl you seen as my girlfriend.
We are only friends now, and I regret never replying to your message the week after we broke up, I so badly wanted to reply! But I couldn't. I knew it would happen again because of how much you cared for me. I had too much control...I needed to end it. And yet here I am...
Not even sure of when the last time it was we spoke...years it feels like, and you still come to my mind, the name "vampirites night" carved into my brain. Every visit I come to on Gaia only reminds me of the hurt that I brought you and how I should punish myself from this unforgiving crime!
Stephanie...where did you go?
I can't ever talk to you again because you quit! I can never see or talk to you ever again! You really believe I saved that cursed message on Myspace to remind myself of the guilt, all that guilt?!
If you did...then I am sorry for the false hope. I am sorry for everything, but it will never matter, because as long as you never read this message I will never forgive myself for what I have done.

The man you once knew...
}Lawrence{


User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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