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well seeming how no one talks to me i guess it's safe to post in my journal...though even when I was on here a lot people wouldn't read this unless I asked them to. lol. regardless... ok so I have some place to be really emo and i Know that I won't be listened to ^_^ well first off... God I love her I mean I never didn't but more so now that I realize taht since she's leaving I won't be able to see her and since I know that she won't be there my feelings are stronger... or maybe I just love her more now? regardless i know that I love her and that nothing compares to that. these feelings of happiness and of pain torture me so much but in a sick deranged way i like it. it makes me feel alive it makes me feel like I can actually live knowing that I've loved in a way that i never have in a way that I don't think I ever will again... not until I'm with her again and when i am it will only be that much better... I can't bear this pain though, this dying slowly since I know she'll soon be gone... but she has my heart and I have hers... I will never let her go... I love her...