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Of Boys, Men, and Breakups |
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Boys, Boys, boys...
Why does it always have to be about boys?
I have been dating Ben for... about two months now, and we have never really fought about anything. My primary concern has always been that he might like me more than I like him. But that hasn't even been a concern recently.
However, Isn't there some sayings out there, "Bros before Hoes," and "Chicks before...*cough* 'jerks'?" So one would think that helping out a friend in a hard place would be ok in just about any average relationship.
Turns out, Ben is upset that I spent time taking care of my friend Jacki while we were camping; Yes I admit it was inopportune, and perhaps something normal people would have had no need to really consider dealing with, but Jacki was having a really hard time because no, frankly, she's not normal. But she's my best friend and I wasn't about to leave her in a bad place in any way shape or form.
When I spoke to him last, I asked him if, "Wouldn't you do the same for your friends?" He said, "No." When I explained that my friends would always basically come first, he called me back and asked if I really meant that. And to a certain extent, yes, I do. I'm not about to leave these people that I love with all my heart in a bad position that they themselves are incapable of dealing with or sorting out. If I am with them or at the same place as them, I will go and do my very best to help them out. Just the same as if he were in a similar situation, I would do everything in my power to help him. After that, he said, "Well, I understand that, but.."
At the end of our conversation we set it up to meet tomorrow when I got out of work. He said, "We really need to talk about this; Because this could be a deal breaker."
I felt my heart rip. I am scared that it will be beyond my powers or strength to keep things pleasant between us if something happens further and we break up. Because this is just such a childish thing to break up about. At least in my point of view. Yes, I admit that I never expected us to stay together forever, because that is a foolish thought of love that can't be afforded if you wish to keep your heart from getting broken; but this was never even an option that I considered, and I don't want US to end that way. Oh well... I shall keep you posted..
 rosewatertears · Sat Jun 30, 2007 @ 06:14am · 1 Comments |
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