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BoredomCorner-Crazy funny true stories. |
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Last edit: I am too lazy to update this entry...it'll remain like this for a while
Edit: look down to see reasons why Santa could be a female blaugh
(( Maybe this will encourage people to make comments in here blaugh ... I just thought some things are worth being shared with others. It's not right for only some people to have fun biggrin The original versions are in Romanian, and since I very much doubt anybody can speak that language, I'll take me a little while to translate them))
Something for warm-up. Oh, yes! This is actually true! - Certain interrogations during trials in US.
Lawyer: Doctor, before you began the authopsy have you checked the dead person's pulse? Witness: No. L: Have you checked the arterial pressure? W: No. L: Have you checked if he was breathing? W: No. L: Then, is it possible that your patient was alive in the moment you began the autopsy? W: No. L: How can you be so sure, sir? W: His brain was in a jar on my desk! L: But still, the patient, couldn't he be alive? W: Well, now that I think about it, it could be possible that he could be alive right now being a lawyer God knows where...
Lawyer: What resulted from the vaginal extract sample? Witness: Traces of sperm. L: Masculine sperm? W: It's the only type I know...
Laywer: Have you had sexual relations with him in New York? Witness: I refuse to answer the question. L: Have you had sexual relations with him in Chicago? W: I refuse to answer the question. L: Have you had sexual relations with him in Miami? W: No.
Stories waiting to be inserted here:
1. Santa Claus could be a woman Let's see... upon request I'm starting with this one first blaugh Alright, think about it! Christmas is a huge social gathering, warm, cosy and very well organized, it's hard to believe a man would put effort in all that. First, the great male majority don't even bother buying presents until Christmas Eve. Once they end up in the mall, they seem surprised all the time to discover only second quality products, tubular key sets, screwdrivers and plastic rings left on shelves....
Another problem for a male Santa Claus is transportation. First of all, there wouldn't be any rein-deer because they'd all be dead and tied up by on the slade's back like real hunting trophies, with eyes half open, with gazes expressing desperate reproach that the deer hunting season had extended.
Even if the male Santa would still have rein-deer, he might have orientation problems, because inevitably he's get lost up there, in the sky between all those snow clouds, but he'll be too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.
Other reasons: - Men generally cannot wrapp gifts properly on their own. - Men would much rather die than dress in red velvet. - Men would feel that their masculinity is threatened if they had to be seen constantly together with only those elves - Men generally don't answer letters - Men would most definitely refuse to have their body described, even if it'll be a joke, as something resembling a "floating bowl full of jelly". - Men wouldn't be interested in socks unless someone was wearing them... - If men would have to say "Ho, ho, ho" it would most definitelly diminuish their ability/chance to pick up women. - Finally, in order to be responsible for Christmas, they'll have to commit!
About other legendary men? Saint Nicholaus appears once a year, unshaved and with a wrinkled aspect. Clearly he must be a man! Cupid flies all over the place carrying weapons! Uncle Sam is a politicial who likes to point finger.
Any of the above individuals would pass a testosterone test.
2. Exam subject - "How is Hell: exoterm or endotherm?" Idea: Several years ago at Chemical Engineering University Oklahoma, at the " Thermodinamics, Heat and Mass Transfer" class exam dr. Schlambaug professor of thermodinamics, gave the following exam subject: "How is Hell: exotherm or endotherm? Motivate your answeri".
3. Summer camp letter home Idea: Too funny to spoil the surprise blaugh
Daphne Than · Fri Apr 15, 2005 @ 04:40pm · 4 Comments |
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