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ok, as James stated in my last journal entry that i had posted on Veeay Dale didn't have a gun.But he did graduate early...

I think it might be a good thing that nobody reads my emotastic journal entries such as the one that only Trick commented on. He is great but like I said I so don't know where I stand with him or much anybody else around here.

I don't really fit in with my friends if you ask me. They all seam togeather and comfortable with themselves and me I'm the nervious little kid who hides behind books and in corners and occasionally goes mute.

Hay look I'm going EMO again... maybe Brett was right when he named me that last year. I think I', going to fail math and science. Which coincidentily are two of my best subjects.

Ok, I think I'm going to fill those who read this bit of insite into my warped little mind in a bit.

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Noah started Smoking and Cutting again. He hides behind his music just as I do but now he doesn't even talk to me unless it's about food or money. Sometimes he's like the old noah that I liked and had no problem with. Others he's this guy that I barely know any more and he scares me. But what does my oppeninon matter anyway. I told him once that I would never speak to him again if he started up again and I think I'm gonna go and follow through with that promise. It's not like he'll notice anyway. ((if any of you that read this tell noah anything about this i will get you.))

Nelly and me don't really talk alot anymore. It's mainly cuz we don't have any classes togeather. But I see him all the time and he just walks on my no "hi" or nothing. I can't believe I used to have a crush on him.

Cass is the same way. I don't know what's going on with her and anthany but maybe it's none of my buisness in the first place.

I don't think I have or will ever truely fit in with my peers. I mean It always feals like i'm empty and am watching the world from the outside looking in. I know it sounds emo and it sucks but to tell you the absolute truth that's how I feal most of the times. Can't help it no matter how much i try, I just can't and if you ask me it seams to be eating me from the inside out... all consuming and that kind of stuff.

Oh I forgot to tell you ... I can now cuss when I sing songs and say movie titles but that's it....

My mom still crys alot when she thinks about me and my brother. She thinks she isn't good eniough because of her neck. And she hasn't given us the life she wanted. But in truth she has. the things that go bad for me and Andre' are our fault and I just wish she would stop crying. "Acid tears"

OH Trick and Hellen hate each other and Hellen is going with a guy named Joey who goes to Alysa's school. Joey cheated on her with Hellen and they both found out around the same time. According to alex (lisa's bro) Alysa taught Joey a lesson when she found out and dumped his a** but Hellen stayed with the cheater and let him take her virginity. BUt while she's not with him... which is all the time seing as they go to different schools she is all over Ricky...

Miles is dating Anthany. the dude that created b-plan. Andre was reading over Mile's shoulder while the two boys were talking over b-plan. And he found out that miles and Anthany made out in the L hall bathroom. Which is weird because yesterday Miles was moping about something who he heard from Hellen( rumor mill). He was all hurt that he heard whatever it was from Hellen and not Anthony himself. What pisses me off is the fact that miles felt that he couldn't trust me. And he woudn't tell me anything. But he went around the corner and him and Katelyn just sat there talking the whole time.And that he was listening to Hellen when she told him not to tell me anything.

The people that are suppose to be my friends don't trust me and some of them barely talk to me at all. Mainly it's the ones I was closest with last year in middle school. we see each other almost everyday but the thing is that They grow closer wich is great but they intearn push me away and I'm left sitting there wondering what the hell happens. Because I'm always the last to know.



OK, I think you've had eniough of the non exsistant Emo ness of my world. I still say that I'm not emo. And any of you that say I am can just piss off...


_----- this has been a message from the brain of Amber,-----

::::NOTES FROM RANDOME PERSONALITIES (don't ask, it's not spose to make sence and it's spose to be stupid):::::

oh yeah learn how to spell my name idiots....... -SpaziE-
"sorry SpaziE's a little crazy today....." -spaziE glares at John-
"Shut up Pyro... and go away .... this is my gig" -spaziE-
"who said this journal is open web space" -John throws a fire ball at the ground infront of SpaziE and she sits down and stairs at it-

-John, Spaz, and BoB come out-

"I'm st. John alderguist saying bye... and the writer of this journal doesn't own me the marval dudes do."

"I'm Spaz....No not SpaziE she's still watching the fire dance, I'm a randome character from the book the last book in the universe and I wanted to say hi"

"And I'm Bob, I'm the monkey in the closet.... Not David/Michael... who wants to steal my name...but just wait I'll get him" -the monkey starts laughing-

::::: the end of the randome character ness:::::