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 Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 4:15 pm
I have this "friend" and i have known him for almost 18 years now...so since he was born. We were in diapers togtejer and have seen each other at least once a week for 18 years. We started to go to the same high school 3 years ago. Freshmen year and Sophomore year went along fine. We enjoyed for the most part seeing each other everyday of the week. This year things have changed even though i am older than him he's a Senior and i am a Junior (my paremts made me redo 5th grade when they realized i had ADD mildey). So its his last year (thank goodness!) and things have started to suck. He stranded me at school after a football game because he wanted to go play lazer tag with a few people he barely knew. Usually this isnt such a big deal but when I live 45 minutes away from school and any way to get home is to have my parents come get me at 10 pm, its kinda of a big deal. I could believe that he left me, stranded without remorse or anything i never got an apology...even after we didnt speak for a glorious 2.5 months. Since then things have been werid, thats undertsandable but now he lies to my face and avoids me. He told my friends and i that he was leaving a small amusement park near my house but really he just stayed. AND now everytime i sign online he blocks me without saying hello. At school he completely ignores me. I am just so sick of all his crap and there is so much more personal stuff i dont wanna get into. I am just so happy that i dont have to see him anymore past this year. But i just feel kinda used because he has like 3 friends and i have lik 20 at school. He would come over and hang with us. I just dont want to put up with all this crap anymore. My mom said that i shouldnt let a friendship like this die, but i want it to. He is such a drama queen, and i just dont like him as a person anymore. He used to be like my brother but now.... I dont know what do you guys think? Should i talk to him again if he strats talking to me? The thing is he will NEVER EVER apologize for any of the things he has done or said, he doesnt have remorse for hurting me. He knew what he did and he knew i was upset about leaving me starnded and i never once got an i'm sorry.
Thanks for reading my soap opera story.
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Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 6:30 pm
Eh, I know that some people might disagree with me, but...
If he's going to be that much of a jerk about it, you should go ahead and end the relationship. It seems apparent that he's already taken the first step in ending it. If he doesn't want to be friends with you, then you shouldn't have to push it nor put up with it. Let him run off and be a jerk elsewhere.
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Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 8:51 pm
That was a very carnal advice, you know?
Christians live by spiritualness, not carnalness.
on the other hand...
You should tell him 'hey, you turd, why are you treating me like crap? ' if he refuses to improve it, then send him back to turdland. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 9:58 pm
yeah i know i should do "the Christian thing" but he IS being a turd and I have put up with his crap for almost 18 years. I just kinda feel tired of the friendship. Im just kinda ready for it to be done. I mean its to the point where i dont even want to look at him. I alo HATE it when my friends talk to him, because he always mooched off my friends. Its like grow up, break out of your shell, and find some on your own. He also likes to make himself seem really smart by like making me feel stupid. I have had a few blonde moments and he just runs with it. He always thinks that he is SO much smarter than everyone else, and that he's SO much better. Yeah he is smart, but not as smart as he thinks.....it just gets to me.
How exactly would you have me act and say to him V C?
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 4:29 pm
I think you should confront him in front of a lot of people that why everyone will see how much of a jerk he is and that might bring it into perspective for him plus if he is as immature as you say he might have a crush on you and just not know how to tell you.
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 5:06 pm
[Bitter.Sweet] yeah i know i should do "the Christian thing" but he IS being a turd and I have put up with his crap for almost 18 years. I just kinda feel tired of the friendship. Im just kinda ready for it to be done. I mean its to the point where i dont even want to look at him. I alo HATE it when my friends talk to him, because he always mooched off my friends. Its like grow up, break out of your shell, and find some on your own. He also likes to make himself seem really smart by like making me feel stupid. I have had a few blonde moments and he just runs with it. He always thinks that he is SO much smarter than everyone else, and that he's SO much better. Yeah he is smart, but not as smart as he thinks.....it just gets to me. How exactly would you have me act and say to him V C? the bible says we have to confront them, if they don't change do it with two witnesses, if he doesn't change do it in front of a lot of people.
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 8:44 pm
i get what you guys are saying but in his family which "was" like my second family until recently, never talk about things. They never apologize for anything and the only reason he started talking to me agaian after leaving me out at school was because i was in his sister's wedding and i had to walk back the isle with him, so his sister and his mom forced him to talk to me. I was just wondering is leaving the freindship was alright. My mom has given me some advice about it, but i dont want to be pleasant with him. I dont want to talk to him.
gonk i feel like I'm in grade school!!!
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 8:54 pm
Victum Soul That was a very carnal advice, you know? Christians live by spiritualness, not carnalness. on the other hand... You should tell him 'hey, you turd, why are you treating me like crap? ' if he refuses to improve it, then send him back to turdland. 3nodding Wha--?? How was that carnal? And how is it really much different than what you said? The only difference is the fact that you mention a confrontation, and while I can see it being a good thing... I can also see things blowing out of hand. A reckless end to a relationship is never fun nor good. From what I hear of this relationship, it's one that could die without a confrontation. If he wants to talk, let him talk. I just don't see why she should have to put up with some guy treating her poorly when she doesn't have to put up with it. I understand that this guy used to be close to her, but people change. I'm not best buds with any of my elementary school friends anymore, even though I occasionally talk with them. I'm not saying hold a grudge against him or anything. I'm just saying that she doesn't have to put up with him. Doesn't the Bible also say to choose our friends wisely, and he's not being a very good friend. And I'm sorry for talking about you in the third person, Bitter.Sweet. ^^; Also, you mentioned where it talks about confronting people in the Bible. If I do recall, Paul's talking about church leaders, not ordinary people. Yes, we can love those who hurt us, but we don't have to put up with them, either. In the end, we'll just get hurt even more and then we can't do anything that God needs for us to do.
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 9:25 pm
Mellonikan Victum Soul That was a very carnal advice, you know? Christians live by spiritualness, not carnalness. on the other hand... You should tell him 'hey, you turd, why are you treating me like crap? ' if he refuses to improve it, then send him back to turdland. 3nodding Wha--?? How was that carnal? And how is it really much different than what you said? The only difference is the fact that you mention a confrontation, and while I can see it being a good thing... I can also see things blowing out of hand. A reckless end to a relationship is never fun nor good. From what I hear of this relationship, it's one that could die without a confrontation. If he wants to talk, let him talk. I just don't see why she should have to put up with some guy treating her poorly when she doesn't have to put up with it. I understand that this guy used to be close to her, but people change. I'm not best buds with any of my elementary school friends anymore, even though I occasionally talk with them. I'm not saying hold a grudge against him or anything. I'm just saying that she doesn't have to put up with him. Doesn't the Bible also say to choose our friends wisely, and he's not being a very good friend. And I'm sorry for talking about you in the third person, Bitter.Sweet. ^^; Also, you mentioned where it talks about confronting people in the Bible. If I do recall, Paul's talking about church leaders, not ordinary people. Yes, we can love those who hurt us, but we don't have to put up with them, either. In the end, we'll just get hurt even more and then we can't do anything that God needs for us to do. so we don't have to 'love our neighbor' or to 'show the other cheek' ?? I remember Jesus once entered a town, and He saw a man who was about to burn one of his plants, because it wasn't giving fruit. Then Jesus said not to do it, but to first take care of it, try it once more, and if the plant remained infertile the next season then proceed to burn it. We don't have to do that either? according to you: No, we don't have to.
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 11:26 am
Victum Soul Mellonikan Victum Soul That was a very carnal advice, you know? Christians live by spiritualness, not carnalness. on the other hand... You should tell him 'hey, you turd, why are you treating me like crap? ' if he refuses to improve it, then send him back to turdland. 3nodding Wha--?? How was that carnal? And how is it really much different than what you said? The only difference is the fact that you mention a confrontation, and while I can see it being a good thing... I can also see things blowing out of hand. A reckless end to a relationship is never fun nor good. From what I hear of this relationship, it's one that could die without a confrontation. If he wants to talk, let him talk. I just don't see why she should have to put up with some guy treating her poorly when she doesn't have to put up with it. I understand that this guy used to be close to her, but people change. I'm not best buds with any of my elementary school friends anymore, even though I occasionally talk with them. I'm not saying hold a grudge against him or anything. I'm just saying that she doesn't have to put up with him. Doesn't the Bible also say to choose our friends wisely, and he's not being a very good friend.And I'm sorry for talking about you in the third person, Bitter.Sweet. ^^; Also, you mentioned where it talks about confronting people in the Bible. If I do recall, Paul's talking about church leaders, not ordinary people. Yes, we can love those who hurt us, but we don't have to put up with them, either. In the end, we'll just get hurt even more and then we can't do anything that God needs for us to do. so we don't have to 'love our neighbor' or to 'show the other cheek' ?? I remember Jesus once entered a town, and He saw a man who was about to burn one of his plants, because it wasn't giving fruit. Then Jesus said not to do it, but to first take care of it, try it once more, and if the plant remained infertile the next season then proceed to burn it. We don't have to do that either? according to you: No, we don't have to. Turning the other cheek has to do with martyrdom. This isn't a case of someone being killed for their beliefs. And I never said that she had to HATE him. In fact, I made a comment about that up there in red. Now, if she can change him, great. But from what I hear, this sounds like a situation where he's already made up his mind. If that's the case, then why should she put herself in a position where she'll get hurt in the end? Jesus didn't want us to be stupid about the way we react towards our neighbours. Doesn't the Bible say that we shouldn't be "unequally yoked"? While it traditionally is used to mean marriage, I've heard a lot of convincing arguements that say that it should also apply to friendship, too. This guy's just bringing her down. God wants us to pick our friends wisely. Also... couldn't this also be a natural end to a friendship? People drift away. They just do. That's life, and there's not much that we can do about it. Yeah, so you've been friends with him for 18 years? That's REALLY good for most friendships. If it's going to die, don't let it die in pain. Also, don't reach out for something that can't be. Unless I'm mistaken, he's made up his mind about the situation. Don't try to force the friendship. I know from my own experiences that that doesn't work and only makes people angry in the end.
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 8:41 pm
I Undertsand that I should be the bigger person and forgive him. I forgive him for the wrong-doing but not because i want to because i feel obligated to God to forgive him. I am also sorry that i started this whole debate. I just get really angry when i see that he blocks me everytime he signs on. But i forgot to mention something. He excised himself from my group at a small amusement park and said he was going home, which he clearly didnt (that was okay, i know he wasnt found of our dicision making there) BUT he left with a good attitude towards me and us, and on Monday he started to block me on aim and pretended that he didnt know me or see me at school just outa the blue. Thats what angered me so much. It was like BAM...I hate you kinda thing. which is fine because i dont like him much anyway and i have been struggeling with the friendship for a year. scream turd.
Im glad i have friends like you guys to help me through this.
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Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 11:29 pm
Mellonikan Victum Soul Mellonikan Victum Soul That was a very carnal advice, you know? Christians live by spiritualness, not carnalness. on the other hand... You should tell him 'hey, you turd, why are you treating me like crap? ' if he refuses to improve it, then send him back to turdland. 3nodding Wha--?? How was that carnal? And how is it really much different than what you said? The only difference is the fact that you mention a confrontation, and while I can see it being a good thing... I can also see things blowing out of hand. A reckless end to a relationship is never fun nor good. From what I hear of this relationship, it's one that could die without a confrontation. If he wants to talk, let him talk. I just don't see why she should have to put up with some guy treating her poorly when she doesn't have to put up with it. I understand that this guy used to be close to her, but people change. I'm not best buds with any of my elementary school friends anymore, even though I occasionally talk with them. I'm not saying hold a grudge against him or anything. I'm just saying that she doesn't have to put up with him. Doesn't the Bible also say to choose our friends wisely, and he's not being a very good friend.And I'm sorry for talking about you in the third person, Bitter.Sweet. ^^; Also, you mentioned where it talks about confronting people in the Bible. If I do recall, Paul's talking about church leaders, not ordinary people. Yes, we can love those who hurt us, but we don't have to put up with them, either. In the end, we'll just get hurt even more and then we can't do anything that God needs for us to do. so we don't have to 'love our neighbor' or to 'show the other cheek' ?? I remember Jesus once entered a town, and He saw a man who was about to burn one of his plants, because it wasn't giving fruit. Then Jesus said not to do it, but to first take care of it, try it once more, and if the plant remained infertile the next season then proceed to burn it. We don't have to do that either? according to you: No, we don't have to. Turning the other cheek has to do with martyrdom. This isn't a case of someone being killed for their beliefs. And I never said that she had to HATE him. In fact, I made a comment about that up there in red. Now, if she can change him, great. But from what I hear, this sounds like a situation where he's already made up his mind. If that's the case, then why should she put herself in a position where she'll get hurt in the end? Jesus didn't want us to be stupid about the way we react towards our neighbours. Doesn't the Bible say that we shouldn't be "unequally yoked"? While it traditionally is used to mean marriage, I've heard a lot of convincing arguements that say that it should also apply to friendship, too. This guy's just bringing her down. God wants us to pick our friends wisely. Also... couldn't this also be a natural end to a friendship? People drift away. They just do. That's life, and there's not much that we can do about it. Yeah, so you've been friends with him for 18 years? That's REALLY good for most friendships. If it's going to die, don't let it die in pain. Also, don't reach out for something that can't be. Unless I'm mistaken, he's made up his mind about the situation. Don't try to force the friendship. I know from my own experiences that that doesn't work and only makes people angry in the end. turning the other cheek applies to martyrdom AND these kinds of situations. Deny it and you're practically calling my pastor a liar. If he 'made up his mind already' then why would she try to convince him into being a nicer person? right? WRONG!! if someone 'seems to have made their minds already' it's still worht a try. What if my mom made her mind about not accepting Jesus? should I let her burn in hell then? think about it, before posting, please whee
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 11:19 am
I get what you are saying but i said this to my friends last night incase they open their big mouths and tell him. I said, "he obviously needs his space and thats fine. If he wants to talk to me then he can come and talk to me. I will not go and talk to him but if he talks to me i will not be mean and i am not mad at him, i am simply giving him what he wants...space."
I AM mad at him but i know full well that he wont come and talk to me so i really have nothing to worry about at this point in time. I just cant bring myself to talk to him anytime soon.
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 8:24 pm
I would suggest letting the relationship die. I mean, sure we're supposed to try to reach out to people, but when they turn their backs on us it's kinda hard to. Plus, you don't want to keep it up anymore so what's the point? Sometimes it's better to just move on.
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 10:50 pm
morsusmihi I would suggest letting the relationship die. I mean, sure we're supposed to try to reach out to people, but when they turn their backs on us it's kinda hard to. Plus, you don't want to keep it up anymore so what's the point? Sometimes it's better to just move on. Thats what i was thinking, but i have a hostory with him and i was just curious to see what you guys thought.
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