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 Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 8:50 am
HEART/CRY
As I sit alone in my room,
My self-consisios hears a boom,
My heart has impoleded on itself,
Because no one was there I was by myself,
No one to help my never-ending cries,
And if they did it would take countless, endless tries,
To help me,
To save me,
But plz just leave me be.
FORGIVE
He ask me for forgivence and another try
But I donno, does he even know how much I cried,
He told me was sry he never ment to hurt me,
I wanted to believe him, I thought we were ment to be,
But now i'm thinking clearly and can see,
Through he's lies,
And i don't wanna go through he's painfull good-bye's,
Not again,
Not ever again.......
*copy righted to fallendarkangel26*
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:46 pm
Any comments? Complaints? Sugguestions?
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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 3:28 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 5:34 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 7:19 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 12:40 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:23 pm
align=center]:Your very welcome:
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:34 pm
Well, I love the first one Heart Cry. the second one, needs some work. After the 3rd line the rythme becomes hard to follow. They are both very good, but I think Forgive should be revised some more.
Punctuation is also part of a poem, not every line has to end with a coma.
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Reply
