Sanity Report of A Spoonful of Agent

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Log Entry] ------> Day One

A partially hard-to-read scrawl fills the page, along with drawings that litter the sides with many different ideas other than the ones that are told by the words. The author seems to have been slightly distracted when they wrote down their thoughts.

'I'm not crazy. The judgement was way too harsh. I mean, forcing me to take some medicine? And not even telling me where it came from? That's like torture! You don't give someone a paopu fruit without even telling them where it came from. But considering the charges for which I was put on this medication to begin with, it's probably the smartest thing to do. But it's still harsh.

I'm still trying to get over the possibility of what might happen if I share this with another person. Is the legend reall true? Well, just the existance of this proves something. I just don't know what it is yet. Maybe if it does work, I'll be able to see what it really is. I mean, it can't be a real paopu fruit. That would mean... a lot. It would all end up being incredibly confusing, though.

Today, I actually stayed home to play Kingdom Hearts 2. It's less convienent than Chain of Memories, but the graphics are a lot better in KH2. The Gameboy Advance does do good work for a handheld, though. I got to go over the first few days in Twilight Town after starting yet another game. (I swear, it's taking up most of my memory space just saving all of these games.) It was great to see Roxas and his... er... "friends." But as usual, the minigames were a pain. It's not even required that I play them so much, but at least it'll be easier when I come back with Sora later on.

I still wish we could see more of the Organization as a whole. They're never shown as a group. Not all thirteen of them, anyway. After having a lot of them disappear after Chain of Memories, it's hard not to want a group shot. It's not hard to imagine all of them together -but having them all together peacefully is a whole other story.

But for some reason, I get the feeling that there's always another side, another story, behind everything.'

The writing ends with a signature: '-Agent.' The rest of the page in the journal is filled with images of Kingdom Hearts-related things. The symbol for the Nobodies, the symbol for the Heartless, tiny heads of Sora, Roxas, and Axel, and at the bottom of the page, there is a small paopu fruit with and 'I' on it, marking the page.

 

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Log Entry] ------> Day Two

[Thoughts]

[More Kingdom Hearts drawings]

(Link)

 

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Log Entry] ------> Day Three

The first day (morning) of the new year. A chance to start over, a chance for changes, both good and bad. Though no one has any idea which direction this new year will take. Fireworks are going off outside the window -excited neighbors wanting to capture the exact moment of the new year. The first holiday of each year always begins with a bang.

'Hello again. Just giving a heads up on what's happening out here. No side affects from the paopu fruit yet, but then again, it hasn't helped anything, either. If you could see, you'd notice that the drawings that I usually make are just more related to New Year's Eve today. I'm not sure, really. I might have to take this for the rest of my life even if it does work to prevent a relapse or something like that. Maybe if it works, I'll be cured forever. But that's just wishful thinking, right? There's not much of a chance of that, unless I start showing some actual progress soon. Supposedly, if I just stay on my medicine, then I'll miraculously stop obsessing over the wonderful Kingdom Hearts series. ...Yeah.

It's a New Year. I'm actually pretty excited about it. My birthday isn't coming for a while, nor are there any holidays until February, but I feel good. Who knows. This year might be better than the last (It can't get worse, that's for sure.), so I feel optimistic for once.

I don't know what's to come in this new year, but I'll try to make it the best that I can. It's mostly up to me, anyway. Unless destiny gets in my way. But I don't feel like cooperating with destiny. ...No, the fruit is definitely not helping me at all. If it doesn't work, then I suppose they'll have to give me something else. If there is even something else. I remember the judge saying something about 'The Happy Home,' whatever that is. I'm not exactly sure -I was too busy thinking about

My resolution: To keep on my medication, I guess. If I do, it'll be the first resolution that I keep.

Happy New Year, journal.'

 

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Log Entry] ------> Day Four

Today was an incredibly odd day, I have to say. It made me think. Much more than I should ever have to. Minigames do that to me enough already, thanks. I don't need some random person in the real world making me think. I don't even know who they are! Whoever it was, they were incredibly eccentric. Maybe someone sent by the court to make sure I was still on my medication.

Well just to tell them, I AM, THANKS. AND IT'S STILL NOT WORKING.

Then again, it could be just a side effect of the paopu. That's probably more likely. Yes, of course. Odd men walking up and talking to me before leaving is a side effect of medicine. Whatever the case, what I saw today freaked me out beyond belief.

A nice, overcast day for once. We never get that weather around here, so I decided to go out to relax a bit. Everyone seems to be burned by the mere thought of rain. I love it, though. It's so nice to be outside. The rain was tapping against everything -windows, the street, the bus that I was supposed to be catching as it drove away... Yes, I was stranded downtown in the rain.

Have I ever said how much I hate downtown?

It's incredibly annoying. Especially considering the bus schedule is so horribly placed. An hour, at least, between buses. So I was stuck there for at least an hour. And if I missed the next one, there'd only be one left before they all went back to the station for the night. [Note to self: Do not ever spend that much time in one store. ...Even if they do have the newest figures in.] For an hour, I had time to burn. My money and medicine was in my pocket, the newly-purchased items in a bag that I was carrying.

Fifty-nine minutes left. I left the bus stop to try to find a place to waste my life. Hopefully somewhere with a television monitor and a Playstation.

Fifty minutes left. I still hadn't found anywhere that seemed even remotely interesting. All of the stores that could have been amusing, I'd already gone to. I'd already been there for long enough.

Thirty minutes left. After spending have of my time just wandering, I decided to turn back and go to the bus stop again to wait it out. I had nothing better to do, after all.

Five minutes left. Apparently, I'd wandered so far away from the bus stop that it took a while just to get back there. Being slightly distracted by my shopping bag didn't help at all.

It was just as the bus began to pull up that I saw the stop. It was a stroke of luck that I made it on time. By this time, I was running. That is, until someone decided to grab me by the arm. As I tried to pull away, the hand clasped me tighter. [Note: Definitely going to the GYM soon, thanks.]

Can you feel anything?

Whether it's my imagination or not, I can still say beyond a doubt that I'll never get those words of my mind. Of course, my reply was genius. 'No, get away!' Then whoever it was handed me my bag (apparently I'd dropped it) and walked away with a wave, as if I knew them.

I did manage to catch my bus, though.

---

So, for the few hours that I've been home, I've been thinking about if it could have been anyone I know. The few friends I have would probably play a bad joke like that on me -the problem is, none of them know that much about Kingdom Hearts to be able to pull it off.

Regardless of that, I'm going to have to check this out.

Such a coincidence isn't possible.

It just...

Can't be.

 

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Log Entry] ------> Day Five

By the pricking of my thumbs,
something wicked this way comes.

Whatever is going on around here doesn't seem to be stopping. As usual, my dreams don't allow me any reprieve from my thoughts about Kingdom Hearts. But of course, that's not out of the ordinary. What's odd is that they've begun to feel slightly... Real. Which in itself isn't necessarily a bad thing (unless something hits me), but it's still odd.

There's not supposed to be any side effects, are there? I still don't specifically remember. I definitely should have paid more attention in court than I did. No turning back now. At least from the looks of it, I'll have another chance to go there. Joy.

I feel so strange. Right now I'm on my bed -but it doesn't even feel like mine. I'd go see a doctor if I actually thought it was serious. Dreams and feelings don't really mean much, do they? Maybe not to them, but they most definitely do to me. Possibly because I'm the one who's in danger here if something goes wrong. Truthfully, I'd prefer to be struck down by a thousand Heartless than figure out what's going to happen to me if things go the way they are.

Heh. You didn't know, did you? Not once during this entire time have I actually, truthfully believed that I'm insane. So what if I can name all of the voice actors of Kingdom Hearts 2 in chronological order based on the names of the characters they play? No big deal. ...Even if I can name both the English and Japanese voice actors. It's not that big of a deal. Not enough so to put me on some sort of medication that only makes me think of Kingdom Hearts more every time I look at it. Speaking of which, I have it on my bedside table right now. I think it's time I took a bite, but I'm not exactly feeling like it right at this moment.

I just noticed that my room's walls are littered with posters and wall scrolls from the game. One for each member of the Organization, and more than one for group pictures. Even when I close my eyes I can place exactly which posters are where and point them out without thinking.


...I must be crazy.

 

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Reserved for Roleplay with Ruri]

 

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Log Entry] ------> Day Ten

As Agent entered her cluttered room, her bag was chucked at the bed angrily. What a horrid few days it had been... She hadn't even had enough time to write anything in her journal. And now that she did have things to write, she couldn't find where to start. It might take a while to write it all down -and dragging out her memories would probably just make her feel worse. Instead, she decided to lay on her bed for a while to calm herself down. If that was even possible.

It took what seemed like an hour for her to inch her way to the radio beside her bed. It was relatively old, having a manual tuner instead of tuning buttons. Thus, it took her longer than it normally would have to locate a radio frequency instead of mere static. Once she'd found a station, Agent plopped down on the bed tiredly.

"-at's right, baby, I'm going crazy-"

The first true music that came out of the device made her spring up and almost slap the radio to another station.

"-ause I think you're crazy, I think you're crazy, I think you're crazy, just li-"

That was the last thing that she wanted on her mind. Again, she switched the station. At this point, even a commercial would be welcome.

"-not crazy, I'm just a little impaired, and I know, right now, yo-"

She smacked the small radio off of her bedside table. It didn't break, but the force was enough to knock loose one of the batteries and make it silent. Agent stomped angrily to her journal. Now she knew exactly where to start and precisely where she was going to end.

When she was done, only a few words were scrawled into the small book:

I hate my radio.

 

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Log Entry] ------> Day Eleven

This morning is when I finally realized that April Fool's day was coming closer and closer. Which is bad, because it's today. Maybe next year I'll remember exactly which days are holidays and which aren't. Maybe, just maybe. Oddly enough, none of my friends have called or pulled any other types of pranks on me yet today. I must be lucky that way. But sure enough, they'll find some of my pranks when they get home. Which should be right around now, coincedentally.

It's just a good think that no one has decided to retal

 

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Log Entry] ------> Day Eleven (Continued)

This has got to be the worst prank anyone has ever pulled.

Also the most cynical and sadistic.

"GO AWAY! Go AWAY, I said!"

She threw book after book from her shelf at the tiny trio of hallucinations. They didn't seem to be injured at all by the cascading bundles of paper. Instead, it seemed to do other than make them come closer to her. What did they want? Honestly, it didn't matter anymore.

"Leave me alone, already!"

Yet another book was thrown angrily. Yet again, it yielded no results. What was she supposed to do to get rid of them? She clenched her eyes shut in hopes that whatever they were would be gone when she opened them again. Her left eye peeked open after a few moments to see if her plan had worked. Simply put, it hadn't. She tried reasoning with her self aloud. Maybe saying it would make it true. "You're not real. I know that." She rubbed her eyes with her thumb and index finger, already exhausted after only being in the presence of the odd beings for a few minutes. "You're probably some horrible attempt at an April Fool's Day joke." She paused for a moment.

"Why are you here?"

There was no response. They merely moved closer –honestly, the things were Tonberries just waiting until they got close enough to kill her or something of the sort. She almost wished that she hadn't woken up when she had. That way, she might not have seen the three.

"Are you going to leave, then?"

She could have sworn that one of them giggled. Simultaneously, they shook their heads and came even closer. Reaching for another book, Agent instead grasped the Paopu fruit which she kept in her room. The feeling of it between her fingers made her instantly pull it in front of her eyes. Glancing between the hallucination and the star-shaped fruit, she came to the realization that they might have some connection.

"Do you know what this is?"

They bounced. She took it as a sign that they most definitely did. The short outlines that continued coming closer made her think of a certain trio from Twilight Town. She dared not say their names so she wouldn't justify their existence. But they did not need justification.

They were already there.

 

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Log Entry] ------> Day ???

They're still here.

She had no idea how long it had been since they'd first shown themselves to her. But they were there. Always there. When she ate, when she listened to music, when she slept. They refused to leave her alone, no matter what she did. And she'd tried everything that she could think of. She'd ignored them for a few days, she'd yelled at them, she'd begged them, she'd even tried to hit them with everything she could find. Nothing worked. Nothing at all. She'd long ago realized that it was futile.

Were they ghosts? Was she cursed for some reason? She couldn't remember if she'd done something to make some kind of spirits hate her. Lying on her bed, she stared at the roof with no particular thoughts on her mind. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see each of the three tiny figures. They seemed to be playing. Whatever they were, they seemed to be able to do whatever they wanted.

One had somehow acquired a small sword-like object the size of a toothpick. He was swinging it, apparently practicing for a fight that would never happen. The other two's distorted forms seemed to be sitting calmly, watching the first in his futile attempt to train. They'd seemingly been doing the most random things ever since she'd first spoke with them. If they were hallucinations, they were definitely the weirdest. They would play games she didn't know, eat ice cream that didn't exist, and explore her room endlessly.

Sometimes they would wave to her, try to grab her attention. They had something to tell her in those non-existant voices of theirs.

"I'm not playing with you. Ever."

She spoke with disgust toward them, but that didn't seem to deter their need for her companionship. They wanted to play, and they weren't going to leave her alone until she gave them what they wanted. Not that they'd leave her after that, but it would at least make them move away from her for a while.

She was tired and hungry. The trio was like a bunch of little kids. They always wanted attention, or were somehow making er focus on them. She hadn't had time to do anything that she'd wanted, in fear that the tiny imaginary creatures would block her view and attach themselves to her face so that she couldn't see anything other than their rainbow-colored yet transparent bodies. They were definitely kids. They weren't hers, but they were somehow her responsibility now.

She wasn't cut out to be a babysitter.

 

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Log Entry] ------> Day ??? + 1

Wandering hands went after the small figures that were playing innocently on the floor. Where their owner expected to meet substance, she was instead partially surprised to feel nothing at all. In fact, their image merely faded momentarily before the being reformed itself. "What are you?" She doubted they'd answer, and she was right. They barely even seemed to notice the presence of the woman laying partially off the side of the bed.

The only question she wouldn't ask them was the one that she thought they would respond to. Who are you? But she didn't need them for that. She already knew the answer. "Do you even care that I'm here?" To her surprise, one of them actually shook his head back at her. However, he was only met with silent objections from the other two, followd by what could only be giggling and laughing. "You know what? I really hate you three right now." She could almost feel them grinning at her.

Why didn't they just leave? What, did they think that they own this place? Maybe if she left the house more often they'd completely take over her house. In whic case, maybe they'd have so much space to play in that she could leave and they wouldn't follow. That could very well be her only means of escape. But would it work? Or would she just end up wasting her time just to get nothing back?

It was a hard decision. She'd have to take her time and figure out what she wanted to do. But in her mind, she could find no other option. It was either that, or just continue doing nothing. Doing nothing had a track record for not working, while this plan had a clean slate. What was she supposed to do? The stupid little hallucinations or whatever they were wouldn't leave her alone.

The one option that didn't occur to her was to stop taking the medicine.

 

[A Spoonful of Agent]

[Log Entry] ------> Day ??? + 30

Diary-

My head hurts. No, more than that. This can't be described by merely saying 'I've got a headache'. Oh, no. This is the end-all of headaches. The one thng capable of being as painful as a migraine without actually being one. It feels like I woke up this morning after rubbing my temples with a loaded gun. My temples and eyes hurt as if they've never hurt before. Like someone hit me in the head with a frying pan. ...Multiple times. Like I was dropped off of the Empire State Building and onto my head.
You get the point.

In case you care, diary, they're still here. Over the past month, they've stopped being wary of me and have decided they don't care anymore. Since then, I haven't been able to use the excuse that maybe I just stared at a bright light too long. Maybe this is what really happens when you stare at the sun. Instead of going blind like they say, you just start seeing weird little hallucinations. THAT NOW FEEL THE NEED TO WALK ACROSS MY PAPER.

Sorry, they were walking across it in a little line. Anyway, now that they've decided they can walk into my vision whenever they please, a lot more has been happening. I can see them clearly now, playing their silent games and talking to each other in some language I can't hear or understand. Before, they didn't even seem to notice my existence half the time. Now they just almost completely ignore it. It's not as though I can do anything to stop them from doing whatever they please -I can't even touch them, really. I swat them away, but my hand just goes straight through them. I yell, they don't seem to hear me.

I don't know what to do.

You know, I'm going to bed. All I can hope right now is that they don't dance all over my bed as I sleep.