A modeled poem. | Page 1 | Poetry and Lyricism | Guild Forums

Gaia Guilds

Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

This is a writer's guild where all can gather for feedback and advice on all mediums of writing. Plus it's a great place for conversation.

Tags: Writing, Writer, Writer's Block, Critiques, Friends

Poetry and Lyricism

A modeled poem.

[Hollow Point]

Offline

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 4:03 pm

I walk into the woods and ponder
wandering in my hopes and dreams
dreaming of my lost loves, wallowing
in my memories; dreaming dreams no
mortal ever dared dream before.

I dreamed of seas coming onto shore
seeing sun upon your face and watching
wind blow through your hair

I walk into the woods and ponder
dreaming of how life will be
when we both can no longer dream the
dreams which we dare not dream again.

I still have yet to see so many things
I have longed to see, for everywhere
I go I see the same thing that
which I’ve seen before

I walk through the woods and ponder
Of all that I don’t understand
And the people of tomorrow who will know
These things that I don’t understand

All this time I have pondered
Of times that are to come
I remember my loving dreams
And hear your voice behind me.

I modeled this poem after one by JRR Tolkein

I like it fine, it's no where near Tolkein's one his is completely different. I'm not really sure I like the whole pondered thing but I dont have anything else that fits. Critism is much appreciated

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 5:02 pm

i love the peom , i love poems that have pondering in it because i ponder alot 4laugh

Z O M B ii E C o N D o M

850 Points

Offline

[Hollow Point]

Offline

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:44 pm

ponder is indeed a fun word i just dont really think it fits well into this poem.

Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:11 pm

hey, you. can I borrow this?

erm, steal?

better yet, enter it in my contest. You'll get paid for it.

I liked it.

KirbyVictorious

Offline

_Shiloh Filia_

Offline

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:30 am

eek

Yikes...well I guess he can't really control what you do even if he said "no."

Anyway...I really liked this poem biggrin When I began to read its first stanza I came to think, "this is extremely cliche..." but I read on and realized that it was more than that, it was original! And then I smiled and commented on how much I liked this wonderful piece of work.

wink pirate

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:34 am

Oh and by the way...ponder works just fine! But if it still really bothers you, here are some other words you could use:

Ruminate
Think
Mull (over)
Meditate
Contemplate
Muse
Speculate

wink pirate

_Shiloh Filia_

Offline

Poetry and Lyricism

Welcome to Gaia! ::

Gaia Guilds

Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

Quick Reply

More Information