Sanity Report of FantasticDragons

[FurfishRemix]

The door banged shut and FD strode into the room, Skel bobbing along behind her. With a click, the lock jumped into place as the girl and dodecopi walked through the room towards the kitchen. Skel began chattering hyperly when FD set the bags down on the counter and pulled out a styrophone half-box with plastic covering one half. She smiled. "Here, I'll put it with the others."

She opened up the freezer. The bottom half of it was completely filled with unopened boxes of clams. On the top shelf, sat the one clam that had been in their old room when they found it. Shaking her head in amusement, FD slipped the new box in with the others and then turned back to the bags. "All set." He chattered at her happily, and then disappeared into the freezer.

As she watched, FD noticed something. A blue Spork lay on the ground. She bent down to pick it up, knowing that it wasn't hers, and her hand passed right through it. Perplexed, she tried again and again. Skel reappeared and chattered some more, and the Spork lifted, floating into the freezer. He spun upside down, chattered, and sat like that for a couple seconds. FD saw he was developing a vague shadow. It reminded her of something more......Human-like that dodecopi-like.

Before she could wonder any longer, Skel disappeared back into the fridge, and she just shrugged and went back to unpacking groceries. When finished, FD threw the bags into a corner and went to watch TV.

Skel floated over a while later, and she looked. The Spork was floating along after him, and the shadow was growing darker. It now held the outline of some kind of humanoid thing, but that was pretty much all she could tell. He settled down on the couch next to her, trying not to sink through, and watched the show.

 

[FurfishRemix]

Skel's gone.

This morning, I wook up, just like every morning. He wasn't on the bed, so I guessed he was in the freezer, and just kind of ignored it. I got up and got dressed, woke up my Gwee's.......

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE GONE? *sentance smudged with moisture *cough*tears*cough* *

After I got some cereal out to eat, I checked in the freezer and didn't see him. It wasn't that weird, since he usually stays in the clam. I just sat there and ate the cereal, waiting for him to appear. But he didn't. And he hasn't. He's not in the clams, he's not under the bed, and he's not in the Spork drawer. He's not here.

*Many Sporks are stabbed into the remainder of the page, which has been torn out and shoved into a sock drawer, inside of a sock, at the bottom of a drawer. There's a spider in the sock, too.*

~

FD stepped out onto the fire escaped, looking around. Sighing, she began walking down it, keeping an eye out for the blue-and-green dodecopi. A few people stared at her oddly, wondering why someone was using the fire escape instead of the stairs. She just waved half-heartedly back as she descended.

The day was perfect. Sunny, warm, no signs of rain. But it was terribly lonely at the same time. FD missed the constant-chattering that had been present over the past few weeks. Everything just seemed.........Empty without Skel. The sun seemed to burn instead of cast a friendly light. The grass looked dull and worthless. The breeze seemed chilly instead of warm, and all of the Sporks seemed to need sharpening.

Absent-mindedly, she headed for the Utensil Shoppe. The familiar light-blue building was usually comforting, but right now, it just made FD feel sick. She entered, and the bell rang in an unusally annoying way. She glared at it, before heading over to the Spork section of the shop. Boredly, she held up a couple titanium Sporks, and then shook her head. Sporky made a muffled protest from her pocket, something about how she was worrying too much about that octopi, and how he never should have let Skel trick him.

FD shushed him, and continued down the isle, barely glancing at the Sporks. She wondered what she'd done wrong. Maybe she was mean to him? The Sporks didn't hurt him or seem to offend him. Maybe she'd been reading his reactions wrong? Or maybe.........Maybe those Happy Home people took him away! But she'd been taking her meds! It wasn't fair.

Suddenly, her eyes darted to the floor. A familiar blue Spork lay down there. FD looked at all of the near-by shelves, already knowing that the store didn't sell anything like this. She bent to pick it up, and as anticipated, her hand passed right through it. A purple-tinted hand reached down and grasped the Spork.

FD looked up, and fell backwards. Before her stood a purple-skinned human-oid person, holding the Spork between his two hands. He had a little heart clippy in his hair, she noticed. He shook his head, getting the hair out of his eyes, and smiled at her sheepishly. "Hi." FD jumped up and hugged him- As well as someone can hug something that can't be touched, but you get the picture. A few people looked her way, but soon found they had other things to do, and disappeared.

"I missed you." She said, grinning broadly. After a second, she scooped a handful of silver Sporks out of the nearest basket. "Lets go cause some chaos."

 

[FurfishRemix]

Dear Mr. Philips,

It has been made clear to use that you are in need of our services. A certain Mrs. Philips is no longer behaving as before, and therefore you have taken on a certain amount of dislike to her, if not hate. If this is not the case, ignore this message, burn it, and then eat the ashes. If that is not followed, we will find you. Now, if this is the case, come by the old warehouse at 3 AM tomorrow morning. Bring five thousand gold, a stapler, a Sharpy, and a piece of ham. When you come to the warehouse, you will find further instructions.

-

Mr. Robert Philips Nervously adjusted his tie, brushed off his suit, straightened his glasses, rubbed his sore knee, and then stepped into the dim light generated from the hanging bulb in front of the old Warehouse #5. He cleared his throat before raising his fist to knock politely - since there was no knocker - when he eyed a piece of paper taped to the door. He leaned forward slightly, so as to be able to read it, and then sighed.

He spun around in three circles on one foot, sang the alphabet backwards (good thing he learned that when he was five), gobbled like a chicken, and then knocked three times, waited precisely four seconds, and kicked the door open.

As he stepped inside, Mr. Philips heard soft voices. He stopped to listen.

"You misquoted me! I said 'Anything, invisible, intangible, or something else, can be Sporked. Not that!" There was no reply. "I don't want the customer to think I'm normal! No normal person would set up a business like this.... Ugh, you computers are so unreasonable." The voice paused. "Ah, Mr. Philips, it seems you have arrived."

FD stepped out of the gloom that covered all but a small circle of the warehouse, smiling in a quite unnerving way. Skel stood slightly behind and to the side of her, observing the man standing before them. FD extended a hand, which Mr. Philips accepted. He immidiatly yanked it away, with a yelp of pain. "First lesson, Mr. Philips. Trust no one." Skel chuckled, although he knew this Philips guy couldn't hear him.

Having second thoughts, Mr. Philips began to back away, and started yanking on the doorknob with his un-injured hand. To his dismay, it refused to turn, and he had no way of knowing how to make it. FD kept smiling, and looked at the door knob, daring it to disobey it's earlier instructions (which were to remain jammed until she said the magic word). Mr. Philips could find no way to escape this, so he took several steps forward, back to where he had been standing before.

"Now then, have you brought the payment?" He nodded and brought forth a bag, containing all requested items, though for what reason they needed a slice of ham, he was uncertain. "Good, good. Now, you are to go home, and tell your wife whatever story you prepared. Tomorrow at 10 AM sharp, you will leave. Find a way to leave alone. You will not return any earlier than 4 PM, any later than 5. Then, the job will be done. Remember, Mr. Philips. We will find you." She handed him a card, and suddenly, Mr. Philips found himself outside of the warehouse, clutching it.

As he turned to leave, he read the card, before slipping it into his pocket.

 

[FurfishRemix]

Ting!....................ting!................TING!!!!

I reached into my pocket, pulling out another Spork. It was the small, black throwing kind, like usual. Taking aim, I tossed it, hard enough so that it split the one before it on the pink heart poster taped to the wall. After staring at it for a few seconds, I pulled out another, and did the same, throwing it. This went on for some time, until the whole poster was covered with black Sporks. I sat there for a while, just staring at them.

Skel appeared a little while later, looking slightly concerned. He looked up at the wall and fazed through it slightly, just enough to see that it had hole in it where the Sporks had hit. THe wall was complaining, though it only sounded like groans to the untrained ear. Skel patted it as well as he could with his intangible hand, before turning back to me.

"Would something happen to be wrong?" He asked, eyeing the Sporks. I smiled at him in a way that made him flinch back, before answering, "No, of course not!" He stood, staring at me, and trying to tell if I was being sarcastic, and ended up just standing there.

I drew another Spork and aimed carefully. Just as I was about to throw it, he spoke up. "The wall's complaining." I stopped, and listened. Sure enough, it was, so instead of throwing the Spork, I pocketed it, and got up. Grabbing the keys from the table, I waved to Skel. "I'll clean up when I come back. Oh, and check the fridge~" With that, I left.

Skel waited a few moments, before floating over to the fridge. He hesitated, and then went through the door. Sitting on a shelf was a heart-shaped painted-pink clam with a note on it. It read "Happy Valentines Day~".