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 Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 4:08 pm
Well, guys and gals, while I've been away at school, I've met this girl--sweetest thing you'll ever meet. Trouble is, she thinks she might be gay/bi (oh the horror rolleyes ), and doesn't know what to do.
Now, my parents might be strict and impossbile to talk to, but hers are the most narrow-minded, bigoted, evangelist people I've ever met (apparently, they told her to keep away from me so she wouldn't 'catch what I have'-I'm out at college wink ). Not only that, but her best friends in her home town are homophobes. She's confused and feels really alone, and I'd like to try and help her out a bit. Any suggestions would be loved, y'all.
Thanks heart
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 4:14 pm
OK, that's confusing. First if she's at colledge, her parents have officially given up the right to rule her life, second, is the colledge in her home town? or did she worry enough to ask her friends 4 help, and as a last, you where being sarcastic, right, about the horror. anyway, I don't really have a solution(I'm 15, you wouldn't get anything useful from it anyway) but if it helps, she has my support to tell her parents what asses they are
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 10:37 pm
fuki matsuda OK, that's confusing. First if she's at colledge, her parents have officially given up the right to rule her life, second, is the colledge in her home town? or did she worry enough to ask her friends 4 help, and as a last, you where being sarcastic, right, about the horror. anyway, I don't really have a solution(I'm 15, you wouldn't get anything useful from it anyway) but if it helps, she has my support to tell her parents what asses they are 1) It is her hometown, her parents make her go home almost every weekend, and I've met her friends. I know they're homophobes when I shook one girl's hand and she assumed I was hitting on her (not my type- scary is not cute). 2) Yea, 'oh the horror' was a joke sweatdrop I'm bi and ok with it (just can't let folks know or else there might be an attempt at an intervention eek ) I'm glad you'd support her heart She's an absolute doll, and doesn't deserve to get knocked around by the people she cares about.
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Posted: Sat May 28, 2005 1:00 am
crying I feel so bad for her because in that situation there really is no easy answer it's all petty much hide inthe closet and develop a mental illness of some sort or come out and be cut off from all you know and love but there is the silver lining of getting new ands better friends. I had to go through the same thing and had to abanded pretty much all my old friends and I came out as bi when I had a girlfriend just because I knew it was the right thing to do I needed to be proud of who I was. And you know what I got new better friends me and my gf are at a deeper level of commitment and and I can talk about how cute the ice cream mns son is biggrin . but thats just me and there's always a chance it could end up in tragedy. the answer to this predicament lies within the persons personality and if she confident enough to handle the diversity she'll face. All I'm left to say is good luck with the decision she makes. smile
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Posted: Sat May 28, 2005 1:18 am
In a spot like this, it's best to take things really slow. Don't even think about a relationship beyond friendship until she's sure of her sexuality. Basically, just become friends with her, but don't try to force anything. If it turns out that she is bi, then you might consider dating or wahtever, but just remember not to put any pressure on her to choose, because this is a very delicate time in life. If you didn't always know that you're gay/bi/wahtever, then try to think about how you would've wanted people to treat you when you were first finding out.
just a reminder- next time, please just use the advice sticky so that I don't have to delete your thread (I won't this time, but just try to remember.)
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 10:45 am
not_very_nice Well, guys and gals, while I've been away at school, I've met this girl--sweetest thing you'll ever meet. Trouble is, she thinks she might be gay/bi (oh the horror rolleyes ), and doesn't know what to do. Now, my parents might be strict and impossbile to talk to, but hers are the most narrow-minded, bigoted, evangelist people I've ever met (apparently, they told her to keep away from me so she wouldn't 'catch what I have'-I'm out at college wink ). Not only that, but her best friends in her home town are homophobes. She's confused and feels really alone, and I'd like to try and help her out a bit. Any suggestions would be loved, y'all. Thanks heart She sounds cute. And in such a horrible place. Bleh, disgusting places in the world. I'd say that she should remember that moving out/away is an option, that she should get away if she can. Plus, I hope you two become together coz lesbian couples are the coolest thing in the world. (I'm serious, not just a perverted guy, I admire nothing as much as a lesbian couple.) Tell her that she is her, that nothing around her can stop that. And her parents sound twisted.. well I spose not everyone can have souls.Um.. hmm. Just be the best friend possible, that's the best thing you can give her. Hope so bad things turn out well.
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 11:23 am
Aw. well my bestest friend in the world, a year ago she was confused. and she needed help finding out if she was bi or not, cuz she's never done anything with a woman so she didnt know if she liked them or not, but she could tell if a girl was hot ot not, you know what i mean? anyways. i told her to make out with me, if she didnt like it, she wasnt bi. if she did, then she was bi. and she did. and now a year later, she's an open bi, and everything. i helped her out and i feel like i did alot for her.
dunno if that helped or anything.
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 1:43 pm
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 11:53 pm
wordman In a spot like this, it's best to take things really slow. Don't even think about a relationship beyond friendship until she's sure of her sexuality. Basically, just become friends with her, but don't try to force anything. If it turns out that she is bi, then you might consider dating or wahtever, but just remember not to put any pressure on her to choose, because this is a very delicate time in life. If you didn't always know that you're gay/bi/wahtever, then try to think about how you would've wanted people to treat you when you were first finding out. just a reminder- next time, please just use the advice sticky so that I don't have to delete your thread (I won't this time, but just try to remember.) You got it. In the future, I'll make sure to use the advice thread. Thanks for your advice, too. Honestly, though, I'm not interested in her in a romantic way, at least until she can straighten herself out. She knows she's bi, she's accepted it. Her issue is the amount of guilt she feels-- like she's let her family down or something. I really feel for her, and can't seem to find the right words to help her. Thanks for the advice, everyone heart .
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 12:49 pm
I cant really say much without repeating what people have already said. so I'll say the one thing that hasnt been said yet: no matter what let her know that your on her side. You two might not be that close, but just let her know that your there for her.
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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 1:46 pm
My parents are majorly narrow-minded too, but I don't think as much as that girl's are. Mine don't realize I'm 'different', but that's their problem. Sorry, I can't really say anything new that other people haven't said. Listen to these smart and supportive people and I'm sure you'll get through it.
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