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Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2014 10:40 pm
A couple days ago I was working with my friend and catching up on lost times. I brought up how she sees my mom more then me due to her living down the block and I'm always working when she's off. That's when she remember a talk she had with my mother, currently at the moment my mom believe I am a lesbian. All because I don't date and don't even talk about guys or girls.
I was hurt by this, the fact that my mom went to a close friend to try to find out she was right. Then to make matters worse my friend told me it's okay I'll find myself soon. Again I was hurt, I never had a problem like this before and also figured I was bisexual at the most yet something was odd how I haven't even been on a date. I can see why my mother was starting to panic, wanting grandkids and wanting to know if I even have feelings but it still bugs me that she went to a friend in stead of me.
Since I was thinking about this I started to check old dating sites I have used and also put myself as gay because I didn't want to bother with men. (I know for a fact no one knows I have these because I was my first name and my second middle name)
Though what brothers me the most right now ladies is a dream I have. They have always been placed in New Orleans, I feel like that's where I might be ending up later in life due to how much I dream about there. any who~ I was dreaming about fighting off some dragons and then suddenly the dragon became a nice fine lady and after that it shifted into a wedding. Then I woke up. I know there was more to the dream but even so it left me thinking that maybe my friend and mom are right. I just haven't admitting it to myself yet.
sorry for the rant ;w;
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Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 1:07 pm
well you mentioned earlier how you thought that you were bisexual and im wondering if you are attracted to guys..as for the dream I believe that dreams are things that we spend such time thinking about things for instance maybe theres many problems in your life and thats where the battling the dragon comes in, it may turn into a woman because your thinking about that possibility and the wedding could very well be because as you said thats what your mother is expecting, all I can say is that going on dates can be very helpful but I woudl advise you to tell your mother to calmly tell your mother how you felt about her going to your friend instead of talking to you.
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Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 1:17 pm
That's just it I don't know if I am attracted to guys, I try to avoid them. I'm okay around some guys that have been dating my friends for years or I have known them for such a long time but other then that I'm a jumble mess of awkward and leave me alone. I've never kissed a guy but I have kissed a girl from being forced to at a young age from playing house and from being in a druken state.
I'm a huge mess. Thank you for figuring out my dream though it does make a lot of since and now I won't be thinking about it as much.
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Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 1:22 pm
Cpt Moon That's just it I don't know if I am attracted to guys, I try to avoid them. I'm okay around some guys that have been dating my friends for years or I have known them for such a long time but other then that I'm a jumble mess of awkward and leave me alone. I've never kissed a guy but I have kissed a girl from being forced to at a young age from playing house and from being in a druken state.
I'm a huge mess. Thank you for figuring out my dream though it does make a lot of since and now I won't be thinking about it as much. your welcome i try lol but im curious like when your are around girls and guys who do you like..idk feel more towards? And being bi is fine anyway ahah who dont have to be anything you dont want to be
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Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 1:25 pm
I think it would be girls I feel more comfortable around them like I can be and not some awkward girl trying to fit in with the guys.
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Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 1:30 pm
Cpt Moon I think it would be girls I feel more comfortable around them like I can be and not some awkward girl trying to fit in with the guys. well is there any girl that you feel semi not awkward around that you could possibly go on a date and see how you feel..if you felt comfortable enough you could even explain the situation and say your trying to figure yourself out
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Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 10:15 pm
Figuring yourself out is extremely difficult. Even I'm not entirely sure about myself. I was nineteen before I finally admitted to myself that I was trans and I'm pretty sure about that. I'm not entirely sure about my sexuality though. Right now I'm currently identifying as a lesbian but I keep going back and forth between bisexual and lesbian. Whether you're bi or a lesbian, I can't tell you. You're the only one who can figure that out for yourself. Either way is fine though and I'm sure that you'll figure yourself out in time.
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