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Dr. Valentine
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Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 12:33 pm

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Parade/Spaceflyadventure/Dumbname on pencils. Dr. V: Everything else.

Work for a local newspaper. Any questions? Comments? I'm aware that the indoor scenes look plain but that is more of a deadline thing than anything. I'll do some indoors BGs up before next issue.

I apologize for smallness of text, it was designed for a full newspaper page so it's been shrunk significantly.

Any comments? Yes? No?

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 2:19 pm

i dont think the layout works for the scene transitions. it feels like there out to be breaks to show a passage of time for which the reader was not present.

Page Boy

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Dr. Valentine
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Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:07 pm

Page Boy

i dont think the layout works for the scene transitions. it feels like there out to be breaks to show a passage of time for which the reader was not present.

Yeah, I can see where you're coming from there. I wonder if just a thicker border between nonsequential panels would be enough?

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:14 pm

The word "dude" bothers me but I love the characters already!

Your style is the sort of comic I like to read but I will agree with above and say that your panels could mix and flow better than they do..just for instance the two very bottom left panels, to me, would have been better if her reply had been in the first panel and then his punch-line in the next on it's own: it would have given the words more power.

I like the first 4, using short frames and minimal detail makes it seem like she's dragging along slowly in the hot sand. I also really like your big middle panel, it's got a great sense of space and looks like a movie freeze-frame.

Maybe I have just gotten used to comic styles where you get lots of different perpectives of the character or close-ups (to copy the way movies are cut and give it that sense of excitment maybe?)
...but I have to say- that's the way I like 'em.

ficklefiend

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Dr. Valentine
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Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 7:12 pm

ficklefiend

The word "dude" bothers me but I love the characters already!

Your style is the sort of comic I like to read but I will agree with above and say that your panels could mix and flow better than they do..just for instance the two very bottom left panels, to me, would have been better if her reply had been in the first panel and then his punch-line in the next on it's own: it would have given the words more power.

I like the first 4, using short frames and minimal detail makes it seem like she's dragging along slowly in the hot sand. I also really like your big middle panel, it's got a great sense of space and looks like a movie freeze-frame.

Maybe I have just gotten used to comic styles where you get lots of different perpectives of the character or close-ups (to copy the way movies are cut and give it that sense of excitment maybe?)
...but I have to say- that's the way I like 'em.

I do like lots of camera angles. Also: 'dude' is not a word I use, but it's an authentic western word (tm), and I figure these characters would lean pretty heavily on dude/lady/dame.

I'm not sure that 'dame' was in use in the 1800s so much but I like the sound of it.

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 7:15 pm

Yah, I like the first half of the comic, but it really goes down hill. The -no indoor CG is part of it, but also my line-art starts to go bad. So I will take some of the blame for that smile

Anywho. This is just issue #thefirst, so once #thesecond is out, I am sure we will be seeing some improvment.

THIS NAME IS NOT SMART

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Plonky the Wondercat

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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 8:11 pm

i think that it is a good start
and that thicker borders will indeed help some with the whole space/time shrinkage thing or whatever

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