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 Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 12:12 pm
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 12:13 pm
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 12:14 pm
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 12:16 pm
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Happiness Project
Early December
starring Cruz, Aina, & Anita
featuring Minerva, Duncan, & Mordekai
Aina returned home with Duncan and Mordekai with bagfuls of groceries in tow, and waiting for them was Cruz and Anita. Her father began preparing lunch, and the Frei helped her grandfather sort away all of their produce where they belonged. Afterward, she sat down with Anita and Cruz to color and compile the notes she had taken in her notebook of everyone’s happinesses. She admired everyone’s responses and read every list more than once, doodling the people she loved and their joys with crayon on the margins of her papers.
There were, of course, a few key people that she had not asked about for their happinesses quite yet, but she knew she did not need to call them for the answers. The Frei smiled across at Anita and Cruz after she finished reading Uncle Dame’s list of happinesses.
“Cruz, Anita?” she began, wiggling a little in her seat. She held the notebook out to them, smiling shyly. “Um-- um, d’you-- can you help me with my school project, too?” she asked, earning some curious glances from Duncan, who was completing his work at the kitchen counter, and Mordekai, who was cooking at the stovetop.
Cruz had already begun coloring in one of Aina’s Frozen books; even though it wasn’t the right dress, he colored Elsa’s clothes pine green. He looked up a little late, as Anita took the notebook that Aina offered. They both smiled curiously at the frei and Anita couldn’t help but laugh. ”Of course, silly. What can we do?”
“Um, well, um, earlier today, I was callin’ all of our friends an’ stuff askin’ what made ‘em happy,” she explained, pointing to the notebook now in Anita’s hands. She smiled, resting her cheeks against both her palms as she admired Cruz and Anita from across the table. “So… um! I just wanted to ask you what made you happy an’ stuff! You can write it down if you want too,” she mentioned, shuffling a few of the crayons sprawled out over the table. “And you can read what everybody said in my notebook…”
”Oooh,” the croc cooed as he turned his attention back to coloring, his grin wide and eager, ”that’s easy.”
Anita blew a raspberry at him as she opened the notebook to take a peek. ”I can write ‘em down, sure.” She glanced up as she took one of the crayons to give Aina a smile, then offered the same to Duncan and Mordekai before she turned her eyes down to the paper. Anita took a moment to glance over the other entries to get started; her smile grew at all of the familiar names. ”He’s right, though, it is pretty easy -- ‘cause there’s a lot of stuff that makes us happy.”
”Mhm,” Cruz rumbled appreciatively, ”Like hugs and kisses.”
”Like hugs and kisses,” Anita laughed and shook her head but took the note just the same. ”One thing that makes me really happy,” she stressed as she adjusted her posture as though they were in a serious business meeting, ”is getting to sit on my butt and doing nothing.”
”Nothing!” Cruz repeated, incredulous. He giggled as he reached for a pink crayon to give the dress some floral trim.
”Mhm.”
“Okay! I won’t peek,” Aina told Anita diligently, focusing in on a coloring book of her newest movie favorite, Moana. She glanced up from her coloring with a small smile, giggling as she nodded in agreement. “I like hugs an’ kisses, too,” she said, sitting a little straighter in her seat to look at Cruz’s progress on Elsa’s dress. She always wanted to color things as good as her brother, or half as creatively, and she looked back at her own progress and hummed as she thought on ways to make it more original.
After choosing to make Maui’s hair a startling process blue, Aina glanced up at Anita as she continued with a very serious look - the Frei giggled, ducking her head some and covering her mouth with her hands. “Not even breathing?” she whispered, and the two men at the kitchen laughed, leaving the three to their discussion as they dove their nose back into their errands. Mordekai gave Anita and Cruz a silent thumbs up as he turned back to the stove.
”Not even.” she giggled right back. ”Spending time with you guys makes me the happiest, though. When it’s really calm like this. And really good food, like Momo makes.” Her eyes flicked appreciatively to Mordekai before she continued scribbling.
Cruz nodded as Anita wrote more of her notes down. He glanced up when there was a brief pause and found her to be looking at him expectantly; he grinned. ”Me too. Bein’ with people. Foods good but kisses are better.” His tongue poked out between his lips as he returned to his page, only to halt and sit up straighter abruptly. Cruz flailed one of his hands and tapped the table gently. ”And, um! Helping! Helping people. Other people bein’ happy makes me happy.” With that interjection seemingly finished, Cruz resumed his coloring in earnest - then added, ”And holdin’ hands.”
Mordekai glanced back at Anita at the compliment, flustering as he laughed and stuck his tongue out at her between transferring a cast iron skillet to the kitchen island for their lunch to cool. Aina hummed, nodding in agreement with Anita - “Yeah! Me too,” she said, keeping her chin tucked under her arms as she listened to Cruz and Anita, smiling ear to ear. Maui’s hair could wait until after they were done answering her very important question, after all, and she giggled when Cruz chimed in with his own answers.
She nodded excitedly at him, empathizing with his sentiments exactly. “Mhm! Helpin’ people and holdin’ hands are the best,” Aina said. Though she kept her scout’s honor in not peeking at the notebook until Anita was done, she glanced at her, bobbing her head a little. “Can I read yours, Anita? Cruz, are you gonna write more, too?” she asked, leaning over to poke Cruz’s nose - but her arm was a little too short to reach.
”Sure,” Anita chuckled as she slipped the crayon between the pages as a bookmark.
She returned the notebook to Aina, holding it in front of Cruz’s face, but he didn’t look up until Aina reached for his nose. When he looked up and the distance between them was just a little too far, Cruz leaned toward her and booped her fingertip with his nose instead. ”If you want me to!”
”You know whose name I didn’t see in there yet, though?” Anita pressed her fingers to her lips as she asked, halfway to hide the blooming smile so she could pretend to be a little more serious if only for a moment.
Aina excitedly waited for Anita to hand the book back to her, but when Cruz booped her nose, she giggled and quickly shied back into her arms. She looked up at Anita demurely, raising her brows, and shook her head. “I forgot somebody? Are they gonna feel bad?” she asked, a tad worriedly.
For a brief moment, Cruz looked just as unsure as Aina with a worried pout to match. She shook her head and smiled as she reached for her phone. ”No, she won’t feel bad. Do you wanna call her?”
It only took the croc a second longer to realize who Anita meant. He raised both of his arms quickly. ”Oh! Nerva!”
Aina’s anxiousness alleviated immediately after Anita’s reassurance, and she brightened at the mention of Miss Minerva. With her hands on the table, she lifted herself up to nod at Anita - “Mhm! Your mama isn’t busy? Is it really okay?” she asked, full to bursting at the potential to call her.
”We can try, anyway,” Anita glanced at the time on the screen before navigating her contacts, ”but she’d be happy to hear from you any time.” With his eyes closed, Cruz nodded sagely in agreement. Anita placed the phone to hear ear as it rang and her eyes roamed the kitchen ceiling until her mother picked up; a muffled but pleasantly surprised tone carried through the kitchen. ”Hey mam, are you free for a sec? Mhm. Yeah, Aina wants to ask you something, if you got a minute. Okay, I’ll pass you over--”
As Anita leaned forward to hand Aina the phone, it once again passed in front of Cruz. This time, he took advantage of the placement and leaned close to the mouthpiece. ”I love you, ‘Nerva!” A flurry of contagious laughter flowed from the phone and, though hard to with the lower volume, it was obvious by Cruz’s wide grin that she had returned the sentiment.
Aina giggled as Anita and Cruz spoke to Minerva, and once the phone passed to her, she held Anita’s cellphone carefully in her hands. The laughter had reached her, too, and she was flustered from all of the delight by the time she began speaking. “Hi, Mama Minerva,” Aina began, “I love you too! How are you? I’m colorin’ a Moana page, d’you want it?”
”Hi, sweetheart! I love you, too!” Minerva chuckled, ”Of course I do, if you want to let me have it. We can put it up on the fridge with the rest of yours and Cruz’s beautiful drawings. What can I help you with, sweetpea? Anita said you had a question?”
“Mhm! You can have it,” Aina said, smiling wide at Minerva’s compliment. She tilted her head as she felt a little hesitant at asking Minerva, and she glanced at Anita and Cruz for some confidence, wings fluttering as she rested her head on the table. “Um-- mhm,” she switched the phone to her other ear, a little fidgety, “My question was, um-- I was wonderin’, what makes you happy?”
”Aw, that’s a sweet question.” There was a slight pause as Minerva gave it some thought. ”Knowing all of my babies are over there, safe and sound and having fun makes me really happy. You all are having fun, right?” she teased.
Aina calmed as Minerva spoke to her over the phone, resting her head against her arm as she hummed. “Mhm! We’re havin’ a lotta fun,” she ensured, smiling up at Anita and Cruz. “I’ll make sure papa saves some of the lunch he’s makin’ so you can have some! I miss you!”
Cruz and Anita were both smiling and listening intently, though Cruz was attempting to add some gold trim to Elsa’s green and pink ensemble that wasn’t showing up well against the pine colored gown.
”Aw, thank you, sugar. I miss you, too! We’ll have to get you and your boys out here again sometime, all together.”
“Yeah! Can we do somethin’ all together at the beach?” she asked, her tone verging on pleading, and she kissed the screen of Anita’s phone. “Thank you, Mama Minerva! I hope you have a really really good day,” Aina said, peeling open the notebook in front of her and shuffling through the pages to find Anita’s handwriting, the phone still tucked to her shoulder - she began reading Anita’s list of happinesses quietly as she waited for Minerva’s farewell.
”Of course we can! The beach isn’t going anywhere.” She couldn’t hold back her delight at Aina’s cuteness and laughed again, this time punctuated by a handful of kiss sounds in return. ”You too, sugar! Tell everybody I love ‘em!”
The page with Anita’s writing was fairly neat in spite of it being written in crayon. She had picked a teal one from the pile of various greens Cruz collected, and organized a short little blurb. Things that make Anita happy are the people she loves and getting to spend quality time with them. This makes Cruz happy, too, but he likes having everyone together in big groups! Sometimes it’s really nice for Anita to stay at home and do a whole lot of nothing, it helps her stay happy. It makes Cruz happy to know that everyone around him is happy. Helping people makes him feel really special! Of course, the things that make Anita - and everyone - the happiest are dogs, dogs, and also dogs. There was a small scribble of a lopsided attempt at a dog paw and, written beneath it, read Tango wuz here.
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2017 11:29 am
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2017 11:34 am
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Family Matters
Mid-February
starring Cruz & Ethiriel
featuring Tango & Nedhudir
”I, um... forgot to mention; Leonard's back.”
The change in topic was rather abrupt, its mood switching on a dime. There was a new expression on Ethiriel's face – one that Cruz wouldn't have recognized: irritation. She knew Leo was trying, she really did, but the man fell short on all of his attempts and it only served to make each time they hung out worse. It didn't help that he would invite himself without question to every little thing she and Henry tried to do. At this point, the Sigel wasn't sure she could take it anymore.
In the brief silence that followed Ethiriel's statement, Tango and Nedhudir huffed playfully on the other side of the room. Their nails clacked against the wood floor of the Gambino apartment as they batted about one of Tango's toys.
”O-oh?” Cruz faltered. His smile hung lopsided until it fell completely. Their previous topics had been light, pleasant, and idle banter, it surprised him to know but it surprised him that Ethiriel recalled something so negative among their prior discussions. ”How's, uh... that going?”
For a moment, Ethiriel's eyes wandered to the side, a small huff escaping her chest. She was silent, as if thinking, until she bowed her head a tad. The tea Raevan scoffed. ”It is...” a sigh. ”He wants to make up for what he did.”
A small sound of relief left Cruz's throat. He hesitated, however, as Ethiriel's tone did not match that news. ”I– that's a good thing... right?”
Glancing to her friend, Ethiriel hesitated as well. In a way it was good, but... ”Well... He... He is not doing a good job. He is trying, he really is, but...” Her voice trailed off as she brought a hand up to meet her chin and lightly cup her mouth. To be honest, she had sometimes fantasized about this happening, and part of her had always wanted it, but she was far more bitter than she could have ever realized without it actually happening. ”I do not think it is working.”
Cruz murmured softly, almost a whimper as he dipped his head. That wasn't the answer he was hoping for, nor did it seem was it what Ethiriel wanted to be true – but it was. ”I'm sorry... um,” his claws gently raked back his bangs, ”what's he been doing?”
”He just... speaks of himself and does not try to get to know me. It is like he wants me to become impressed with who he has become rather than trying to form a new relationship. I do not think I would mind so much if he would...”
If he'd try to get to know who she'd become.
At first Cruz nodded, then followed up with another murmur. He waited for Ethiriel to continue but, when she didn't, he spoke; ”That's no good.” He frowned and set his chin into his palm. The dogs still shuffled, occasionally making playful growls, but were otherwise on good behavior.
”Mm... Did you try to tell him that? Or– hm...” the croc's voice softened and trailed off, momentarily aimless.
Moving her hand from her mouth to cover her eyes and sigh, Ethiriel was just as aimless. She shook her head before responding. ”I do not know how to say it. Normally I am rather strong with my words but he... he frustrates me so and all I can think to do is shut him down. It is terrible of me, but what do I do?”
”No, hey, it's– it's not terrible... Talking's hard.” He closed his eyes, took a breath, then sighed. ”Really hard, sometimes... but, if it's making you sad then he needs to know. Maybe...” After a slight pause, Cruz's tone gained more purpose, ”maybe if he's just talking about himself, you could do that too? Tell him about all of the good stuff that's happened.”
A small smile pulled at Cruz's lips. He reached over to offer a supporting hand against Ethiriel's forearm. ”Nothing's been perfect but there's been a lot of good things for you since he left, right? A lot of new friends. A new family. He should know about 'em. He should know they're good for you. They're worth talking about...” There was a slight wavering in his voice and touch, an uncertainty surrounding his own advice, but the sentiment was true; as far as Cruz could see, Ethiriel was in a far better situation than when they first met and it deserved acknowledgment, especially from the person who – for better or worse – facilitated it.
While her eyes were still covered, a small smile pulled at her lips that Cruz could easily see as she exhaled softly through her nose. With his hand on her arm, she moved her own down to meet his and offered him a vague glance. ”It would help if he would stop inviting himself to every little thing Henry or I try to do. I do believe that is what gets to me most. I have met self centered people in the past, but if I may examine myself... I think it is my experience and lingering anger towards him that blinds me? I need to move past it, but he makes it so very difficult,” Ethiriel said with a gentle laugh, listening contently to the dogs playing not far away.
”At first I was hesitant to mention the good things that have happened... Deep down, I did not want to gloat about how much better my life has become since he left me. I do not know why... Perhaps it would feel like bragging? Not that it has stopped him, I suppose.” The Sigel then paused in thought, her fingers lightly tracing over Cruz's hand as it rested lightly over her thin sleeve. ”I must agree with you, however. It is a very good suggestion. Thank you.”
Cruz nodded slowly, his other hand coming to rest against his lips in thought and to keep himself quiet. It was rare Ethiriel became so wordy, especially about things that bothered her, and he didn't want to interrupt her train of thought. He was a little at a loss with regard to Leo's behavior; from his own perspective, he never minded more company – the more the merrier, in his book – but he knew others did not always feel that way and the first person that sprang to mind who was also keen to have her privacy with individual friends was Anita. They were far from identical, but there was indeed some overlap in their social preferences that couldn't be ignored.
”I think Nita would get annoyed with him, too,” Cruz hung his head a little as a small chuckle slipped out, ”even without the history.” He had to look at things from his guardian's perspective to understand Ethiriel's grievances, but that didn't make them any less valid. ”What, um– what kindsa things does he talk about?” The croc hesitated. ”If that's okay to ask...”
Ethiriel appreciated Cruz's courtesy – it was, indeed, rather rare for her to spiel like that, but lately she found herself more willing to talk than she had once upon a time, so long as it was invited.
”He mostly speaks of his work and how well off he is,” she said, resentment growing in her chest. ”I suppose he is only trying to share his wealth, but it feels as if he is gloating about how much better off he is now that I am out of the picture. It makes me wonder just why he has come back in the first place.”
Cruz frowned. He supposed he wouldn't have made the same connection Ethiriel did of Leo's motivations, but then he didn't know Leo very well to begin with and had none of the experiences Ethiriel did with the man. ”Well,” he began hesitantly as he tried to sift through a well of helpful advice given to him by Anita, Minerva, and numerous others, ”maybe you should just ask? Ask what he really wants to do here, since, y'know... if he came here to reconnect with you and he's... kinda not really doing that, then maybe he should know it's not working.”
Falling silent in thought, after a moment Ethiriel finally exhaled softly. She had, had that exact thought previously, but the guilt in not giving the man a chance kept nagging in the back of her mind. Part of her wanted things to be fine, but the longer this kept up, the less it seemed likely to happen.
The tea Raevan nodded.
Ethiriel crossed her arms and held them, offering a small smile to Cruz. ”I believe that is the best action. It is just a matter of finding the opportunity, I suppose. Will you be telling Anita of Leonard's presence...? He was... rather fond of her, and I would not blame her if she did not want to see him after he left without a trace.”
That was not a question Cruz expected; it gave the croc pause, one longer than those before. A small rumble sounded in his throat to let Ethiriel know he was merely thinking, rather than ignoring. It was quite a conundrum.
”Yeah, I know he liked her...” he mumbled, ”Don't really know how she felt about him. I mean – Nita'd probably be happy he's at least, like... around,” and not dead, ”but I dunno if she'd wanna see him or not.” Cruz scratched the back of his head idly. ”It's hard to remember but I don't think they were close or real good friends... and, I-I don't think she liked him the way he liked her.”
It was easier for him to see that now, with his own experience on the matter.
Another sound of thought issued from the reptilian raevan, though this one sounded closer to a whine. ”I dunno... Do you think she should?”
”If I am to be honest... no.”
It sounded far more harsh than Ethiriel meant it, but after a quick breath, she explained, ”If Leonard were to reach out and let her know, it would be one thing... but hearing only word of mouth, I feel as if that would be cruel to her, regardless of whether she felt the same for him or not.”
Cruz's eyes fluttered. The term 'cruel' in this instance felt strange but he couldn't quite find the words as to why. He agreed that Anita shouldn't be forced to reach out if she didn't want to – he had already put her in that position once before and the results were nearly catastrophic – but he wondered if even mentioning that Leo had reached out to Ethiriel would be an act of cruelty as she described. Ultimately, though, Ethiriel knew Leo better than he did and he left it at that.
”Okay,” Cruz nodded, affirming the decision to himself. ”What d'you think you're gonna do, then?” He tucked his lip between pointed teeth for a moment, then scratched his cheek. ”I mean... d'you even wanna talk to him?”
Lifting a finger to her chin, Ethiriel let out a light breath in thought, herself. ”If I am completely honest... no. I do not wish to speak with him. I just... do not know how to speak this to him.”
Cruz gave a low rumble of thought. It was tricky business, telling people things that they didn't want to hear. He had been in similar positions before, particularly with Iorek where they needed to set boundaries for each other and that discussion did not go as Cruz planned at all – but after it was done, even with his numerous mistakes in doing so, he maintained that it needed doing, just like Anita said.
His eyes lit with that passing thought. ”Ah--” Cruz turned to Ethiriel, his hands around her own tense but his voice carried a hopeful tone, ”When I'm really stuck on things like that, I talk to Anita. She's really good about being honest and figuring out how other people might look at things. Did you say anything to Henry about this stuff yet?”
In response, the silver Sigel gently squeezed Cruz's hands, brows lifted. After all that the two of them had been through, how was it that Henry was never Ethiriel's go-to with things like this? He had always proven himself knowledgeable, kind, willing to help, but for some reason she always considered her friends first – even if it was less convenient. For a brief moment, this train of thought distracted her from Cruz's question and a second long flash of concern over this was evident on her face, but the Raevan was quick to fix as she gently shook her head. ”I have not, but I should. Thank you for the suggestion, Cruz.”
She needed to talk to Henry more.
A look of concern mirrored Ethiriel's until it was replaced with something more assured. When she accepted the suggestion, relief washed over Cruz and he nodded firmly. ”Mhm,” the croc rumbled, ”I'm not really so good with this stuff... I, um–“ Cruz winced, ”I mess up a lot, talking to people. Nita's a lot better at it than me, so she usually knows what to do. But, if Nita's not sure, then I ask Minerva.” So that was the plan then, he figured; Ethiriel needed to tell Leo to stop, but she needed to seek council from her family first – it made perfect sense to him.
”If that is the case, then I shall seek the council of Henry's father after,” Ethiriel said with a gentle laugh – though Cruz didn't know Jonas, Ethiriel knew that he was an infinite fountain of wisdom within the Knight family, and while she didn't quite necessarily feel like 'family,' there was no doubt that he'd be willing to help with anything she needed. Surely Henry would be enough, but it was a tempting thought...
Squeezing the croc's fingers lightly, she smiled. ”Thank you, Cruz... It means so much.”
”Yeah.” Cruz nodded, feeling confident in this plan. Though there was still one point of confusion prickling at the mistletoe raevan which he felt needed addressing, he squeezed Ethiriel's fingers back and smiled all the same. ”Hey, Thiriel?” He winced again, just slightly, but he knew how to address this sort of thing now. ”You don't gotta answer if you don't wanna, but um– how come you didn't go to Henry before?” It felt strange, when every confusion that peppered Cruz's own life lead him to seeking answers in those immediately around him, those of his household, and yet his friend seemed to still keep her own guardian and family members at arm's length.
The same flicker of concern from earlier washed over Ethiriel's features and she clearly understood his point. She glanced down, tightening her grip on Cruz's hand as she searched for an answer she didn't quite know, herself. It wasn't that she didn't want to respond, she just... wasn't sure how. Why didn't she talk to Henry more? Why did she never think to reach out to him before anyone else? Wasn't that one of the reasons he was her guardian in the first place...? To help and to be there? He'd long proven himself to be reliable, and he was there because he wanted to be, so why? Was it because of Leo? Did she not fully trust her guardian? The Sigel opened her mouth to speak but nothing came other than a gentle exhale. It was clear that it bothered her, too.
And that told Cruz enough; it wasn't for him to know, whether she had an answer or not. ”Sorry,” he gently squeezed Ethiriel's hand, ”it's okay.” The croc leaned over to gently nudge her shoulder with his forehead. ”Y'wanna take the pups around outside a bit?”
Guilt coursed through Ethiriel's veins as she searched herself for the answer, but nothing was coming up at all and it only served to make her wonder more. Was this also something to talk to Henry about? Would he maybe understand something that she didn't?
With the squeeze of her hand and Cruz's gentle nudging against her shoulder, the silver Raevan popped back into reality and glanced in her friend's direction. The suggestion calmed her and Ethiriel sighed, brows knit but expression otherwise relaxing. ”Yes... I am sure that they would appreciate that.”
She had a lot of thinking to do.
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Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2017 12:00 pm
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