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 Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 11:41 pm
Name:Minoru Yodobashi
i190.photobucket.com/.../anime guys/sword.jpg
Physical Description: 6 feet 1 inch tall weighing 200 pounds, brown uncemped hair not realy skinny or fat
rietsu color: orange
Age: 18 (died 4/21/07
Zanpaktou's Spirit & Name: uronim http://www.kawapaper.com/d/7076-2/Kawapaper_Shakugan_no_Shana_0000099_1280x1024.jpg
Zanpaktou: http://www.kingofswords.com/images/FortressGuardianFantasySword.jpg
Shikai Release: shine like the moon, uronim
Shikai: (achieved) http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q96/RyokuKokugen/Blade_of_Lost_Gods.jpg
Bankai: takes form of zonpakto spirit and can control time (to certain extent) and controls the moon (not achieved)
Special Accessories: the tips of his belt when he is in soul reaper form are orange
Skills: can sneak up on people and completely hide his spirit energy for 30 seconds
Abilities: completely hide his spirit energy for 30 seconds, can turn invisable for 20 seconds
Personality: easy going and always ready for battle, very serius when the time requires and somtimes really stuborn
Biography/History: spent most of his life hanging with friends and riding dirtbikes until one day when he hit a jump flew up in the air and got hit byan invisable force that froze him to death
Signature/Patented Technique: none yet
Guild Status: in battle school i guess
Online Schedule: i try to be on most of the time affter school
3nodding
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Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 5:47 pm
Wow…this needs a lot of fixations.
First, you cannot just simply use images. That just shows your lack of literacy.
You must fill in descriptions in each sections, at least 2 or 3 sentences long.
Second, fix your spelling mistakes. I see them all over the place.
Third, you cannot achieve your shikai from the start. You must learn it from your captain.
Fourth, I don’t get your bankai. Elaborate more, please. Make sure not to godmod with it as well.
Fifth, explain your shikai.
Sixth, using complete sentences would be helpful.
Seventh, your biography is terribly lacking, as are all your sections.
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Reply
