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Journal of Elftech404

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[NPC] ElfTech404

PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 12:53 pm
Monday, November 14th, 2005

You know how there's a Fruit Roll-Up right? Well I created the world's first Vegetable Roll-Up! Brilliant, right? Wrong! It was a complete disaster. Who would have thought kids don't like vegetables? Sigh, the world just isn't ready for something so far ahead of its time sweatdrop .

Anyways, it's Christmas here again at S-Corp! Working for the the Big Man is great, I get total freedom to concoct new and exciting flavors at my state of the art lab. Wait till they get their hands on my latest invention, Geoduck flavored cotton candy! It's going to be a huge hit, I'm going to get rich!

Besides making toys, I'm a huge Larry Pottar fan. I can't wait to see "Larry Pottar and the Hobbit of Desire" this Friday. I heard some people already have tickets, I'm so jealous! gonk

P.S. I hope Santa is ok, I heard he was in some kind of accident. Don't you worry though, us elves are going to make sure this Christmas is the best one ever!  
PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 2:30 pm
Monday, November 14th, 2005

Hey, Mr. Elf Tech 404!

You're eligible for FREE LARRY POTTAR TICKETS! All you have to do is participate in a simple observation and writing contest! They're practically yours! All you have to do is write down everything that occurs around you for ONE SHORT DAY. Send it back to me, and I'll mail your tickets to you RIGHT AWAY! It's GUARANTEED! I'm not Nigerian!

YES! People on the internet are so generous and trustworthy! I just sent him my address and social security number (just in case). Those tickets are so mine! blaugh  

[NPC] ElfTech404

[NPC] ElfTech404

PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 3:11 pm
Monday, November 14th, 2005

This just in, Manuel Cladriffe will be at the premiere! This is so exciting, I get to meet the real Larry Pottar whee My password is... wait, some people are saying I'm being scammed. What's going on here? I know the first rule in Gaia which is don't send out your password EVER, no matter what. Kind of suspicious, but I want those tickets! Still, I think I should listen to the general public on this one. Darn talk2hand

Hey Elftech404,

I heard that the man who plays Larry Pottar himself (yes Manuel Cladriffe!) is going to be going to the premiere in the North Pole! He will be in a private viewing room, only for VIPs! I have an in with the screening guy, and can bring one guest! I noticed you were a fan, so would you like to meet Larry Pottar himself? So not ONLY will you get free tickets if you write about your day, but you can also meet Larry Pottar! You only have to give me your password so I can send you the VIP pass!

Hope you can attend!
PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 3:35 pm
Monday, November 14th, 2005

You guys are so lucky, you are about to witness an official S-CORP product press release:

S-CORP Delivers New Era For Chicken Based Soft Drinks

ARCTIC, Nov. 14, 2005 - Delivering the industry's first chicken based soft drink. S-CORP debuted their highly anticipated "Carbonated Chicken Broth Cola" amid much fanfare. These drinks are expected to bring back chicken broth as a major player in the fight for soft drink supremacy.

Yep, all the flavor of chicken in a soft drink! Hopefully this goes over better than Vegie Fruit Roll-Ups.  

[NPC] ElfTech404

[NPC] ElfTech404

PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 5:14 pm
Monday, November 14th, 2005

Mrs Claus just pulled the plug on my funding. She said nobody likes my creations. She said I should think about another career. It was the worst feeling I ever felt (besides the time I ate a whole can of family size clam chowder). I didn't know what to say.
ElfTech404 said:
But, but... what about the Pickled Turnip bubblegum?

Mrs Claus:
I think we've seen enough of your so called "creations." More like abominations if you ask me. You have wasted thousands of company dollars on products that not even a dog would eat! Your days here are numbered.

ElfTech404 said:
*sniff* *sniff* crying Please just give me one more chance... I promise I'll do better. gonk

Mrs Claus:
If you can find 100 signatures by midnight tonight of people who actually like your lame products then I may consider it. Yeah, like that will happen. Pack your bags, NOW! Your plane ticket will be waiting for you...

Looks like my fate is sealed. There's no way I'll be able to find that many people by the end of the night. talk2hand  
PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 6:21 pm
Monday, November 14th, 2005

I can't believe this! ElfTech 101 took my notepad from the trash and got me more than enough signatures to continue my research! How wonderful, I'm so happy! rofl I was looking through the signatures and wouldn't you know it even 571 signed, I wasn't sure if he really liked the veg roll-up that I gave him earlier.

Even though Mrs Claus is real mean I feel the other ElfTech's support is worth sticking around for, I mean they must like my creations if they all signed, right? Looks like it's back to work for me smile

I nearly tripped on my way back to the lab, there were all these Tickle-Me Lamos on the floor. What's with that? People could trip and hurt themselves. neutral  

[NPC] ElfTech404

[NPC] ElfTech404

PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 4:19 pm
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005

Larry Pottar! Larry Pottar! Larry Pottar! Come on everybody, say it with me! My tickets came in the mail. Oh yeah! Looks like I have a mysterious benefactor, but who could it be? Whatever, there's only 3 more days until opening night! I hope the other elves didn't get jealous when I told them I'm going to meet Manuel Cladriffe, I mean I probably shouldn't have bragged about it but it's so exciting.

I take it you all heard the announcement this morning. I wish I could chat it up with the Big Man just one more time like we used to do. He was always my number one supporter. He used to help me with research in the other corner of the room. We'd take shots of vials and just lose track of time. If it wasn't for Jack he'd be down here right now telling Mrs Claus to take a chill pill. Then Mrs Claus wouldn't be pushing me around all the time gonk She's so mean, I wish I could teach her a lesson or two, that would be the day.  
PostPosted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 3:54 pm
Friday, November 15th, 2005

Hey everybody! I've been working so hard trying to fill my quota of Larry Pottar Chemistry Set potions I nearly forgot to check my mail sweatdrop By the looks of it most of you will be at the premiere of the new Larry Pottar film tonight. Can't wait to see all of you! 4laugh To be honest, making the potions for the Larry Pottar set is fun and all but I much prefer to create the exciting and tasty snacks I'm known for. blaugh Well, I gotta go, those potions wont create themselves... or will they? *scribbles on notepad with the look of a mad scientist*  

[NPC] ElfTech404

[NPC] ElfTech404

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 2:14 pm
Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005

Does anybody clean up after their yetis around here? gonk

I can't tell you how many times I stepped in yeti doo. This is a serious occupational hazard and nobody seems to want to do anything about it. Sure they're cute and all but if they're running around unchecked through the hallways throwing their feces all over, somebody's going to get hurt. cry I'm going to make a stand and demand that if you bring your yetis to work then you sure as heck better bring a leash and a pooper scooper. Be accountable for your yetis people!

P.S. ~Larry Pottar rules, Lord Goldamort drools~! mrgreen  
PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 2:16 pm
Wednesday, November 30th, 2005

It was a late night in the lab when I heard somebody bang on my door three times in rapid succession...


Who would knock at my door at this hour? Whoever it is they must have something very important to tell me. Opening the door there was nobody in sight, just a huge man-sized wrapped gift box with a nice big bow on top. I read the tag:

Your #1 Fan
A present for EflTech404! Merry Christmas!

I heart surprises! This must be the biggest gift ever! I never could wait till Christmas to open my gifts, why start now...

404 Error - EflTech Not Found
We regret to inform you that the journal of ElfTech404 has been sealed due to a security compromise. Please do not attempt to contact him through this address any further. Thank you for your cooperation.

"Making Christmas..."

[NPC] ElfTech404


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