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Antony hesitated over a rack of father's day cards, wondering why none of them featured big breasted women. Not that he would get his father that, of course, but he knew Shade would ask him why not. It was a question that, on any other occasion, would have never occurred to the blue haired male, but all the sap and sentiment written in the cards available was even starting to bother him.

He picked up another one, reading it silently, and wondering how people thought that a line like that was worthy of being bought. It was trite and irritating, trying to mask itself as funny. He put the card back down.

"Hmm?" Antony asked, glancing down at the boy for a second as his mind played back a few seconds. "Actually," he said slowly, "I think I might wind up taking him out to dinner instead." Which was to say, anything was better than one of the tragically overwritten, overpriced dribble that he had been looking through. "Are you looking for a father's day gift?"

He almost laughed. Seriously. It was all he could do to keep a straight face. "Well, knowing girls is one thing, knowing a certain girl is another, don't you think?" he asked mildly. "What is the girl like?"

Oh dear lord, Antony thought, although it didn't show on his face. The boy was too far gone to be saved. And he expected Antony, the king of screwing up relationships, to help him? A slight, meaningless smile played on the blue boy's face, as his mind raced to come up with something the kid would accept.

And Nataya? Even if he had met her he doubted he would have remembered. He had been a teen before she was born, most likely.

"Your cynicism is showing," the invisible reaper beside him whispered in his ear. "Not everyone imagines themselves to be in love with a dyke."

Antony's meaningless smile widened slightly. "I doubt she would have accepted those other gifts if she didn't at least like you," he told the boy.

Hell if he knew, Antony thought dryly. But flowers usually worked. "I doubt she'd mind flowers," he said. "Most females seem to like them, as far as I can tell. Unless they're allergic, of course."

"That sounds like a good plan," Antony agreed. "Is it her birthday or something? Or are you just trying to get her attention?"

"No," he said a bit too sharply. "I don't." He turned back to the cards, forcing himself to focus. "I'm afraid," he said once he was a bit more calm, "that I'm not quite built for relationships. Not that there's anything wrong with them."

"Sure, you believe that," Thanatos drawled, finding this conversation far too entertaining for Antony's tastes. "Just like you believe the moon is made of cheese."

"Like my friends, Chris and Rory," Antony said, ignoring Thanatos. "They're a very good couple."

"Now you're scraping the bottom of the barrel, aren't you?" Thanatos asked, laughing.