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[UC Poika]

I just can't contain myself. I know this post is not supose to be poetry but I won an award with this one in the Minesota Poets Assn. But that's not all of why I'm posting it. I have been advised to turn it into a children's book. I never have. Would someone else? If so, just give me credit for the original poem. I'll support it if I like it.




JACK PINE TRAGEDY
by Just_Fn_Crazy
*real name not included


Once upon a time
in these very woods
where the jack pines
grow gnarled and
twisted to the sky,
where the blueberries
hide among the green
little bushes above
the sand where
nothing else
can grow. . .
Once upon that time
an Indian princess
went to a ball
in the White man’s
village with grace
and in friendship.

And though she danced
like a young elk
in Springtime,
and moved with the grace
of a timber wolf
to the tune of the music,
they found her strange,
too much like the wilds
I suppose; the wilds
they sought to tame.

So they cast her out.
They sent her away
bloodied and beaten
into the jack pine forest
where she died. . .
But Kitchi Manitou,
mocking Cinderella,
caused her slipper
to take root and grow.
Now when they see
the Indian moccasin
they marvel, but ignorantly
call it a lady slipper.




I really don't understand why they liked it so much.  

[The Mysterious Gunslinger]

It goes with the whole 'fairy tale', brutally. They liked the fairytale part of it, and it goes with Cinderella.

It was alright, definitely better than have the things I've seen out there.

 

[Surasaya]

WELL...
I like the content and ideas, I really do.
However, it doesn't read like a poem at ALL.
It just seems like a story with breaks.

 

[UC Poika]

Surasaya

WELL...
I like the content and ideas, I really do.
However, it doesn't read like a poem at ALL.
It just seems like a story with breaks.

They called me a "naritive imagist".

Is this more like a poem. I just wrote it today.

Nihongo no Tsuki

a Japanese moon
over my tiny world too...
being very good

I could but see it,
what it was, and complete it,
herein breaths and beats

but please understand
the glowing parts are garland
thrown so, to woman

liberties ashore
the States statue thus adorned...
Freedom's employer

welcomed to my ears
the words of the songs write, “Here's
love!” on all life's tears.

THE END

Wouldn't you really
rather have it clearer
even if it did come off
as prose?
As you can see
I write far better
with fewer restrictions.

Got Gackt?  

[Surasaya]

rofl

Quote:

po⋅em
   /ˈpoʊəm/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [poh-uhm] Show IPA
–noun
1. a composition in verse, esp. one that is characterized by a highly developed artistic form and by the use of heightened language and rhythm to express an intensely imaginative interpretation of the subject.
2. composition that, though not in verse, is characterized by great beauty of language or expression: a prose poem from the Scriptures; a symphonic poem.

You don't have to have 'restrictions' when writing poetry. :/
Poetry doesn't have to rhyme or be in iambic pentameter, etc.
It's called free verse.
However, it still has to be a poem.

You can't just take prose and make it a poem.
EX: Here's a random passage from a book I have laying around formatted as if it's a poem:

She stared at frustration
at the screen
which at that moment
carried a picture
of the Prime Minister
telling her how
all things considered
everything was really
far better
than it had been
three years ago
even if it didn't seem that way
As she watched
she was mildly surprised to see
the picture of the Prime Minister's face...

Bona fide poetry:

Gathering Leaves

Spades take up leaves
No better than spoons,
And bags full of leaves
Are light as balloons.

I make a great noise
Of rustling all day
Like rabbit and deer
Running away.

But the mountains I raise
Elude my embrace,
Flowing over my arms
And into my face.

I may load and unload
Again and again
Till I fill the whole shed,
And what have I then?

Next to nothing for weight,
And since they grew duller
From contact with earth,
Next to nothing for color.

Next to nothing for use.
But a crop is a crop,
And who's to say where
The harvest shall stop?

Robert Frost

This is not to say poetry must rhyme (duh!) it just happened to be present in the example.
Also, I'm not saying poetry has to be entirely simplistic (see Narrative poetry; epics, ballads, etc.)


ANYWAY~ my entire point is that you may want to write prose rather than poetry unless you want to actually write poetry.
I would rather read:
Wouldn't you really rather have it clearer even if it did come off as prose?
As you can see, I write far better with fewer restrictions.

As opposed to:
Wouldn't you really
rather have it clearer
even if it did come off
as prose?
As you can see
I write far better
with fewer restrictions.

Well, g'luck with whatever you do. : D

If you have some extra time and want a few laughs, I recommend checking out this:
http://www.anti-shurtugal.com/wordpress/?p=31

 

[UC Poika]

Just_Fn_Crazy

Surasaya

WELL...
I like the content and ideas, I really do.
However, it doesn't read like a poem at ALL.
It just seems like a story with breaks.

They called me a "naritive imagist".

Is this more like a poem. I just wrote it today.

Nihongo no Tsuki

a Japanese moon
over my tiny world too...
being very good

I could but see it,
what it was, and complete it,
herein breaths and beats

but please understand
the glowing parts are garland
thrown so, to woman

liberties ashore
the States statue thus adorned...
Freedom's employer

welcomed to my ears
the words of the songs write, “Here's
love!” on all life's tears.

THE END

Wouldn't you really
rather have it clearer
even if it did come off
as prose?
As you can see
I write far better
with fewer restrictions.

Got Gackt?

(?) huh? Wish I could really see what my critics are talking about. I really really do. Is what you're saying that the spoof--see UNKNOWN VAMPIRE--poetic prose in some stories potentially poetry too but not in the example of Edgar Allen Poe or Rudyand Kipling for example. Question: Do you mean that assonance and consonance well done is to be ignored if it is not as profound as Frost or Emily Dickinson. If so we are all in trouble. On the other hand I can see some of what you're saying to some extent for sometimes it even feels like a story rather than a poem as I write it. But my point is, if your critics not mine call that I write a poem and publish it-- even give me money to write it, correct me if I am wrong, but isn't getting published part of it too? What if I change my style and no more magazines accept my poems--does my poetic endeavor stop at seventeen publications without ever having written a poem? Odd. You think.
question sweatdrop  

[Surasaya]

Just_Fn_Crazy

Just_Fn_Crazy

Surasaya

WELL...
I like the content and ideas, I really do.
However, it doesn't read like a poem at ALL.
It just seems like a story with breaks.

They called me a "naritive imagist".

Is this more like a poem. I just wrote it today.

Nihongo no Tsuki

a Japanese moon
over my tiny world too...
being very good

I could but see it,
what it was, and complete it,
herein breaths and beats

but please understand
the glowing parts are garland
thrown so, to woman

liberties ashore
the States statue thus adorned...
Freedom's employer

welcomed to my ears
the words of the songs write, “Here's
love!” on all life's tears.

THE END

Wouldn't you really
rather have it clearer
even if it did come off
as prose?
As you can see
I write far better
with fewer restrictions.

Got Gackt?

(?) huh? Wish I could really see what my critics are talking about. I really really do. Is what you're saying that the spoof--see UNKNOWN VAMPIRE--poetic prose in some stories potentially poetry too but not in the example of Edgar Allen Poe or Rudyand Kipling for example. Question: Do you mean that assonance and consonance well done is to be ignored if it is not as profound as Frost or Emily Dickinson. If so we are all in trouble. On the other hand I can see some of what you're saying to some extent for sometimes it even feels like a story rather than a poem as I write it. But my point is, if your critics not mine call that I write a poem and publish it-- even give me money to write it, correct me if I am wrong, but isn't getting published part of it too? What if I change my style and no more magazines accept my poems--does my poetic endeavor stop at seventeen publications without ever having written a poem? Odd. You think.
question sweatdrop

n_n;;;;
I really have no idea what you're trying to say, sorry.
o_0  

[UC Poika]

Surasaya

Just_Fn_Crazy

Just_Fn_Crazy

Surasaya

WELL...
I like the content and ideas, I really do.
However, it doesn't read like a poem at ALL.
It just seems like a story with breaks.

They called me a "naritive imagist".

Is this more like a poem. I just wrote it today.

Nihongo no Tsuki

a Japanese moon
over my tiny world too...
being very good

I could but see it,
what it was, and complete it,
herein breaths and beats

but please understand
the glowing parts are garland
thrown so, to woman

liberties ashore
the States statue thus adorned...
Freedom's employer

welcomed to my ears
the words of the songs write, “Here's
love!” on all life's tears.

THE END

Wouldn't you really
rather have it clearer
even if it did come off
as prose?
As you can see
I write far better
with fewer restrictions.

Got Gackt?

(?) huh? Wish I could really see what my critics are talking about. I really really do. Is what you're saying that the spoof--see UNKNOWN VAMPIRE--poetic prose in some stories potentially poetry too but not in the example of Edgar Allen Poe or Rudyand Kipling for example. Question: Do you mean that assonance and consonance well done is to be ignored if it is not as profound as Frost or Emily Dickinson. If so we are all in trouble. On the other hand I can see some of what you're saying to some extent for sometimes it even feels like a story rather than a poem as I write it. But my point is, if your critics not mine call that I write a poem and publish it-- even give me money to write it, correct me if I am wrong, but isn't getting published part of it too? What if I change my style and no more magazines accept my poems--does my poetic endeavor stop at seventeen publications without ever having written a poem? Odd. You think.
question sweatdrop

n_n;;;;
I really have no idea what you're trying to say, sorry.
o_0

I'm not sure I do either. Thanks for your patience.