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these are some of the better ones i've found...


How many trumpet players does it take to pave a driveway?
Seven- if you lay them out correctly.

How many second trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
None they can't reach that high.

How do you tell a trumpet player's knocking at your door?
The knock speeds up.

What is the range of a trumpet player?
It depends: how strong are you, and how much do you want to hurt him?

How many jazz trumpeters does it take to change a light bulb?
Never mind- they can fake the changes.

How do you get a trumpet play softly?
Take away his instrament

How do you get a trumpet player to play fff?
Write mp on the part.

What's the difference between a trumpet and a chain saw?
Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.



by the way I AM A TRUMPET PLAYER and these amused me

How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the trumpet players.

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpeter's car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"

How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how Louie Armstrong would have done it.

How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
The doorbell shrieks!

Why can't a gorilla play trumpet?
He's too sensitive.

What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?"
"But Johnny, you can't do both."

What would a trumpet player do if he won a million dollars?
Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.


How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder on the high C's

Why does a trumpet have three valves?
Because trumpet players can't count to four.