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 Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 11:56 pm
 She should have been resting. That was what Kureno had taken every possible opportunity to remind her of, pointing out that her injuries had been severe, and her current condition only furthered the need for bedrest. Still, she could not simply stand still- the tumultous emotions and thoughts roiling in her mind prevented her from being able to relax in the slightest, and the anxiety was beginning to drive her stark-raving mad, only made worse by her inactivity.
Early morning found Sukari pacing restlessly outside of the destroyed clearing where the unikalona mare had taken out the most powerful of their herd with nary a sweat, a heavy limp hindering her walk. One ebony and ivory-feathered wing was draped protectively over her swollen belly, both shielding it protectively and hiding it from plain view of prying eyes.
She had suspected, before the incident with Amaya had taken place... the sickness, the weakness... it was all-too similar to the last state of her pregnancy. The reality hadn't actually hit her, though, until her stomach had begun to show outward signs, and she began to feel the movement inside.
She was pregnant again.
Fear, panic, and anxiety were the first emotions to make themselves known when she finally took notice of the obvious changes. She knew Troilus was the father- there had been no others but him- but in light of their current relationship... would he be happy with the news? The last time, they'd barely known one another, and it had resulted in a further distancing of the two, despite the connection they'd made. Would this be a repeat of the last time?
She refused to dwell on why that thought pained her so.
She didn't even know if he loved her or not. Sure, he liked her, and was protective of her, but the same could be said of her son, or any remotely close friend. She was sure at this point, that she loved him... but she would never be the first to say it. Doing so would leave her open and vulnerable to heartbreak, and she would not take that risk. It was too much to put on the line.
A pained grimace distorted her features as her front knees buckled under her increased weight, and she all but collapsed into a laying position on the grass. Her injuries, lack of sleep, and the pregnancy was taking its toll on her, and she doubted she could rest at all until Troilus was by her side again. Was she already so dependent upon him? She had to tell him soon, but the thought frightened her more than she would admit. What if he turned his back on her? On them... again?
She didn't think she could handle that.
Perhaps it was her exhaustion, perhaps it was the pain of her injuries, or perhaps it was the onset of hormonal mood swings typical of a pregnancy... but whatever the reason, Sukari suddenly found herself withholding a liberal amount of moisture in her eyes. She would not call them tears- her pride would not permit it. A pitiful, near-silent whine rose in her throat as she laid her head down on the soft dirt, wishing beyond hope that her problems would just work themselves out, and let her live in peace, for once.
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:03 pm
Troilus, for his own part, had been resting. It was something that he was quite good at, after all, had always shown a natural talent for lazing about, but he found it oddly difficult when one had things on their mind...like...oh, your children, the son who wasn't overfond of you, and the lovely lass whom you weren't sure if you should step up and call mate just yet. And that whole fiasco with the unikalona mare had just seemed to gum up the entire mental process. Ho-hum.
Now, however, Troilus considered himself well enough to go traipsing across wood and field, in the hopes that he'd find Sukari, that he'd be able to talk to her, and perhaps ascertain the depths of her feelings. He'd give his life for her, he knew that, and he felt a grand sort of affection for her as well... Love? He daresay he didn't know if he possessed the ability to rightfully name that emotion, as well, it had been a long time since he'd had love in anything but the physical applied to his person.
But he knew he didn't want to hurt her, and he wanted to keep her close, care for her...yes, he rather thought that all of that, along with the giddy feeling in his chest, measured up to love if anything did. Whuffling happily, he moved his brisk walk into a trot, shaking some of the dust out of his coat.
And that was about the time that he came upon her.
Wing fluttering with an almost childish glee, he practically bounced to her with all the agility of a foal before stopping short, bending down to peer at her, "Sukari...are you quite all right? I've come to visit."
And what grand news he had for her too.
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:24 pm
Realizing at once that she was being overdramatic, Sukari tried to force back the feelings of self-pity and sadness that made her eyes burn, and succeeded for the most part, although there was a dangerous glistening of her icy blue eyes.
Lifting her head from the soft ground with a shake to clear her slightly fogged senses, ebon' tipped ears twitched backwards at the sound of slightly lighter steps approaching... she recognized the beat of those hooves anywhere, but... was he skipping? The thought alone was laughable, but the image brought a reluctant smile to her lips as she struggled to right her body.
She was careful to keep her wing draped over her protruding belly, beginning to tremble slightly in her nervousness, even as she rejoiced at his presence, hearing the sound of his voice again. The slightly gleeful tone of his voice, while slightly tempered with obvious concern, threw her off a bit, but not enough to forget the situation. Absently, she wondered what had him so happy, when she was so close to tears only moments before... and would be again, if she didn't get away from this train of thought.
Managing a slightly forced smile as she hauled herself, stumbling slightly, to her feet, she ducked her head under his own and nuzzled him appreciatively, uncaring that the greeting of wordless affection was completely out of character, and would probably startle him a bit. That was all right, she supposed... it wouldn't startle him half as much as the news she had yet to reveal to him.
"I'm fine, just... recovering." She assumed that he would gather she meant that she was recovering from the intense battle, and made no effort to convince him otherwise. "I'm glad you're here. Are you all right, as well?" She'd seen the mare deal him a nasty blow or two, and she would have thought he'd be in at least a little bit of pain, but if he was, he didn't show it. Her other eye still wouldn't open underneath the gash across her face.
She took in a shuddering breath, simply breathing in his scent as she tried to calm her frazzled nerves and debate how best to approach this.
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 9:09 pm
Troilus was not entirely taken aback by her display of affection, but was indeed gladdened by it, for it heralded good success for this venture of his, did it not? She was being so terribly sweet to him, it seemed that for him to confess to her was only the right and natural thing to do. "Ah, m'dear, I am tremendously delighted to be here, and I'll be fine, I'm healing quite splendidly, all things considered. Still a twinge in the old get-along now and then, but it passes." His mind was on more important things, after all.
He knew naught of her worries, or of the burden she now carried, for he thought to bring the answer to many things, and perhaps he did, to set some of those fears at rest.
Grinning like a foal presented with sugary goodies, he seemed quite astir about something, wings fluttering in nervous anticipation as Troilus' mind busied itself with a way to perfectly say that which he desired to express. "I have some news for you." he said quite seriously, in a tone that belied the joy of his countenance.
For she was what he desired, the joy of every new morning and a thousand other silly romantic sentiments that he knew well from the poetry that he'd once quoted to impress the ladies. Different it was now, for it had sincere meaning behind it, and the poets had not all been silly fops after all.
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 9:21 pm
It made the tension in her shoulders disappate somewhat in the relief of knowing that he was not in pain- or at least not in a great deal of it. He had gotten injured on her behalf, after all, even if she hadn't asked him to intervene. The gesture of becoming protective and aggressive when defending her, while coming from anyone else, would have irritated her- made her feel as if they were trying to make her feel inadequate- but from him... she could only see it as a sincere wish to preserve her well-being.
Troilus was nothing if not sincere to her, after all.
A genuinely heartfelt smile touched her lips as she leaned her head against his neck, but blinked at the admission that he had news of his own for her. The words themselves would have made her nervous, if spoken without inflection... but he seemed too content, too perfectly at ease in her presence to be anything negative. What then, could he possibly have to tell her? He was unusually serious, but still her pillar of strength all the same, and she reluctantly drew back to meet his gaze, waiting for his explanation of this 'news'.
She supposed she should have told him she had news for him as well- it would be only fair- but the fear of driving him away with such an admission stayed her hand. For once in her life, she wanted to be completely selfish, to preserve this happiness for as long as she could make it last. At the very least, she could hide it until she found out what his feelings were... although that thought didn't comfort her as much as it should have.
Her resolve was wavering, but she refused to let it show in her eyes, stubbornly offering him a shaky smile. "What is it?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 3:04 am
He could see she was nervous, but damn him if he knew why. Troilus didn't want to give her any reason for unease, to make the mare jittery had not been his intent, and whilst he was unsure what sort of reception awaited his confession, he knew that he would not go away completely broken-hearted.
There was something between them, something strong, a bond that went beyond the one that they could see, that of their children, now grown into changing, decision-making adults. He knew, unflinchingly, that she cared for him, or she would not have risked herself for him in that time that seemed as though it had been yesterday.
Nudging his muzzle against hers tenderly, he then moved to nibble her ear in an affectionate sort of gesture. "Well my dear..." He breathed, his warm breath stirring the darkness of her mane. "I discovered something...and the discovery is that this stallion lives and breathes, so that he might love you." Oh how tempted he had been to spew even more poetic nonsense, but to do so would not have done the moment justice, he felt.
The simple utterance had been enough, and only her reaction remained. She would not spurn him utterly, Troilus had faith in that, but her precise return of affection was still shaky ground for the stallion's mud-encrusted hooves.
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Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 4:32 am
A soft smile adorned her ebon' muzzle at his warm nuzzle, flicking her ear at the feel of his teeth nibbling at it as she simply closed her eyes and relished in the feel of having him so close. For the moment, it seemed, all her problems simply disappeared under the calming wash of his presence, and the warmth and security that came with it.
Her eyes flew open, however, and she stilled at the admission he breathed upon her mane, abruptly finding herself holding her own breath. Love..? He... loved her? Sukari, the mare who had committed such heinous acts of sin against her own family, and had doomed herself to a life alone? The thought seemed incomprehensible... and for the second time that day, her eyes burned with the sheen of unshed tears- although for an entirely different reason, this time.
Her breathing hitched as she moved closer to him, unconsciously seeking refuge from her tumultous thoughts... but at the forefront of her mind, there was only joy and relief. A single tear fell from her bright, glimmering azure eyes, put at odds with the joyous smile slowly making its way across her features. How long had it been since she had cried? Years, at least... and never out of happiness. Still unused to feeling this much... anything, she carefully reined in the new part of her that simply wanted to jump for joy, debating a slightly more dignified action.
Her fears were completely unfounded, it seemed, and the answering cascade of absolute relief made her knees weak as she leaned into him just a bit more. Still... what was she to say in return? 'I love you, too', being such a cliche and an automatic response to the original statement, seemed to cheapen the heartfelt confession that he had just displayed only for her, throwing the same words back at him. How else could she convey the same message? Then an idea came to her, and for a moment, she considered it.
Sukari had never believed in fate or destiny. She had always hated the idea that there was a set path in life for her, and she could do nothing but follow it. Others, she knew, had slightly more romantisized views about it, but she was never one of those people. Troilus, however, had made her rethink everything she knew, including her perception of fate. She had always felt a sort of attachment to him, after that night they spent together that had thrown her world upside-down. And while she had deemed it impossible to be loved, or love anyone in return, he had waltzed in and (effortlessly, it seemed) demolished the walls she had spent years perfecting around her heart.
Making her decision, she drew away slightly- only enough so that she could meet his eyes, and he could see the tears shining in them. It was a display of complete vulnerability that, up until this point, she would have refused to reveal to anyone- but she trusted him implicitly, and she wanted him to know that. "My heart has always belonged to you," the words were soft, but genuine and heartfelt, and the tiny, but warm and loving smile emphasized her statement. She hoped he would understand her underlying meanings along with the obvious reciprocation in the confession, but he was perceptive like that, and understood her like no one else.
For the moment, nothing else mattered. For the moment, there was no Amaya, Kureno, Sorai, or her unborn foals... there was only Sukari and Troilus, in this wonderful moment that the two had made for themselves.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:27 pm
He had not expected so simple, but so beautiful an answer from her. Troilus had of course been hoping for an admission from her, praying that she loved him in turn, the answer to his own heartbeat. Eloquent, she was, much as he, and he adored her all the more for it. Whickering softly, there was utter joy and contentment reflected in blue eyes.
The flutter stallion would have his family now, this wouldn't fall apart, these tender affections that they had managed to form despite the pain of their pasts, and the things they would rather leave behind, they now had something to look forward to, something to keep them strong, and in her secret warmth, Troilus had discovered the ultimate solace.
"Then we are complete." He uttered softly, moving slowly and gingerly to lay down beside her, on her level now, long, cream-colored mane draping about him obediently as it had done a thousand times.
There could surely be no moment more perfect than this one, and he wanted to bask in it, thinking it more radiant than the summer sunshine that he had adored on many a morning. No...there was nothing better than to have won the affection of so beautiful and miraculous a lady as was Sukari.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:44 pm
There were no words for the utter beauty in this moment. It was perfect, from every perspective she could fathom, and his own statement of fact made it that much more solid in her eyes.
The joy in his own eyes made her smile brighten, and she leaned against his muscular form with a soft, contented sigh. The absolute bliss of this moment was something that had never even occurred to her as a possibility, and the reality that she now had a family- a real family, that loved her- would take quite some time to sink in. Troilus was more than she had ever dared to let herself hope for- his sweet words, his solid presence, and his kind gestures... she doubted that she would ever fully understand exactly what she had done in life to deserve this kind of love.
A movement in her stomach abruptly drew her thoughts away from their present course- however reluctantly- and she paused, hesitating, as she debated again how best to tell Troilus the news. His admission changed things a bit- she was sure he wouldn't leave her alone to raise them this time- but would he be happy? To be a father again, when he was so ill-prepared for it the first time... she hadn't expected foals again either, but it wasn't incomprehensible.
"Troilus..." she began uncertainly, casting a hesitant glance upwards to meet his eyes. "I... have news of my own, for you." Slowly, ever so slowly, her ivory-tipped wing lifted from the prominent bulge of her stomach, and she leaned away so he could see better, focusing her vision on the ground instead of him. "You're going to be a father, again."
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Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 10:23 pm
Blue eyes, oft lazy in their half-lidded nonchalance, were suddenly wide, staring at her in silence and amaze, completely taken aback by this stunning revelation from the mare. It sent his emotions reeling, and be blinked repeatedly at her, apparently at a loss for words for a few precious seconds before he managed to stammer a reply, glancing from her face to her child-heavy body.
"I-I...I am? I mean...I...oh wow..." He stammered, before grinning like an idiot. Before, well...he had been unready for such a burden, hardly knowing what to do with the one youngling that had been entrusted him, and he had raised her as best he might. But now...now that he and Sukari were something more official...united, together...and she was bearing his children...
...it quite made him swell with pride.
"I suppose we're to be a family in truth now." He said, with more than a little bit of wonder, leaning down, the curious father, to eye her swollen tummy. It was quite clear that he was fascinated and pleased with the idea of having children again. Children born of love.
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:25 pm
The sound of him stuttering, the sight of his widened eyes and shocked expression was enough to make her laugh softly, inwardly breathing a sigh of deeply felt relief. He didn't seem upset or uneasy in the slightest... only bewildered, with the barest hint of joy showing through those cerulean eyes she had become so fond of.
A smile brightened her dark features as he leaned downward to stare at her protruding belly, leaning down herself to nuzzle his shaggy mane affectionately. Taking note of his enraptured and curious expression, she only nodded at his statement, though it was clear he expected no answer. The blooming joy she felt at finally daring to have what she'd never allowed herself to dream of having was unlike anything she had ever experienced.
Raising a soft-feathered wing, she reached to his head and gently guided it to press his ear against the warm bulge, smiling softly as she felt the movement inside. "You will never be alone again. None of us will." It was a promise, as well as a statement of fact. The words to remind herself just as much as him, and the realization that it was the truth brought a peace and contentment to her heart that made it swell.
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 9:43 pm
Troilus exhaled softly, almost afraid to move, pressed to her side, ear against her child-heavy body, and he could feel the little ones stir within her...nothing like this had ever happened to him, and it was priceless, something to be treasured, and he closed his eyes, and found that this was another moment to be savored. So much so quickly, surely someone up there had found favor with him that he did not deserve.
Her words seemed a caress, and he relaxed where he was, pillowed against her side. "I never even dared dream of anything like this..." He whispered, thinking that any family he would concoct would fall apart as surely as his had, father sundering from his mother, and leaving their son behind in the dust...but instead, there was this blissful warmth, surrounded by love and the promise of generations to come having a security Troilus had been bereft of before now.
The stallion had never been so happy, drowned in a pleasure that flooded his senses and left him giddy. He had her love...and tiny, as of yet unborn offspring to care for and treasure. Troilus had a family, and the life he'd always thought he'd been forever denied.
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 9:54 pm
The blissful smile softened into an adoring expression at the wonder in his eyes, at the joy, and the own motherly feeling of contentment that filled her heart at the thought of her foals. She had never had this before... had only cursed destiny for its trickery upon her when she found herself pregnant with Kureno and Sorai. This second chance she was granted... she had everything, with this little family. She could only hope it would not fall apart like everything had repeatedly before.
A deep, shuddering breath was taken as her thoughts wandered to the origin of her own lineage, closing her eyes briefly as the ever-present sorrow flooded her mind and her heart at the memory of her little brother, and the fate she had condemned him to. Her son had suffered because of it, for something he had no part or control in, solely because of her inability to deal with the past. It would not happen again, she would make sure of it... but Troilus had yet to know the truth.
"I..." she began, hesitating as her eyes flickered to the side and back again, lifting to meet Troilus' in a heartfelt plea of understanding. "I want... to tell you about my past. About the reason I caused our son such unnecessary pain, as well as myself." She shifted a bit nervously, icy blue irises dropping again to focus on the dirt below as she contemplated how to start her story.
"I want you to know... so that it will never happen again."
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