I took my intro and my first rp post (in the guild) and put them together. Is it any good and am I doing pretty well so far? Do I need to change anything I am doing wrong?
Opinions for me?
One thing. I am not gonna write less. I like detail and I like typing a lot ^^
I
Jake stares at the old man as his moves back and forth rhythmically as he sweeps the now empty auditorium. He is still spell-bound by his experience so far and chooses to take some time to think about what he is getting into.
Suddenly he hears the raspy of what he figures is the janitor before he looks up again and sees he was correct. "What are you still doing here, boy? Who are you?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had been standing here so long...umm, I'm Jake." He didn't tell the old man for Jake didn't like to give out too personal of information to strangers. He left it at Jake.
Jake's sixteen-year-old body was well taken care of, despite the look of his shabby clothing. He liked to take good care of himself. His dark hair fell across his forehead and he pushed it back with his rough hands. His blue eyes shone brightly through his glasses as the janitor still stared at him wildly, almost telling him to get lost.
Jake felt uncomfortable talking to the janitor, as he did often when talking to strangers. He started to fumble with the tags around his neck and feel for his evoball, containing his coveted Pora, named Medit by his late mother.
Jake didn't have much of a family life. He liked to travel alone and go on adventures with Medit. He was in simple terms a loner. This was only because of the fact that he had never made friends with anyone well enough to let them in. He was never around one place long enough to have that time with someone. Especially since his dad was back home taking care of his grandparents. He has become accustomed to being alone now though so he doesn't expect much from others. Most of them though that his scar and the way he acted about it was weird also.
Jake came back to the thought of this Team Sprocket he had looked into again and how interesting it would be to catch more evomon. He decided that this may also be a chance to find someone to connect with, but he wouldn't get his hopes up.
Having spent enough time awkwardly in the auditorium with the janitor, Jake decided to leave. He opened the big doors of the exit, the ones with the evoball handles made of brass and the picture of two unknown evomon , at least to him, carved into each door. Out the door was the lounge, where he saw a gaming system and a comfortable couch he thought looked like it would be very comfortable after all the past nights sleeping outside on the ground. "Medit would think so too, he's been in his ball long enough."
As Jake pushed open the big doors he also saw that there were some people in the lounge already. He didn't really feel like introducing himself again or getting friendly with anyone yet either so he decided against going in, no matter how comfortable the couches looked.
Jake turned around and saw that there was another door on the other side of the auditorium with a big, bright sign above it reading EXIT. He walked over to it, past the janitor again, and pushed it open. The sun that burst through the new opening hurt his eyes suddenly but it subsided in a few seconds.
It was a nice day out and even though the team was not up to what could be considered good behavior it was surprisingly pleasant on the outside. The forest was full of tall trees that swayed in the wind and reflected the sunlight off their new leaves.
Jake found a shady spot under one of the bigger trees and sat down underneath it, facing away from the base which he had just exited. He felt the crisp grass bend as he sat down and it was cold through his pants. Being a particularly hot day it felt nice though, Jake thought.
Jake rested his eyes now but before he drifted off he remembered that Medit was still in his evoball. Jake didn't like to keep Medit in his ball ever really but during the assembly he knew that Medit wouldn't be able to keep still. He was a lot rowdier and more curious than Jake so he had put him in the ball.
Jake grabbed the lone evoball on his side and lifted it into the palm of his hand. "You can c'mon out now bud. The assembly is over." A red light shot out from the small ball and a small hole suddenly opened on the side of it. In front of Jake his Pora materialized, stretching and yawning as it did so.
"You wanna rest with me in the shade for a while bud before we go try and find something to do?" Jake asked looking at Medit. His Pora, on the average size of how Pora's normally look, nodded at him and smiled before turning around towards the outside of the tree.
Medit and Jake were on very similar wavelengths thinking wise so he already knew what Jake would ask of him, and he didn't mind. Being that Jake and Medit were on the road traveling a lot they gave the chance to be robbed or attacked while resting so Jake decided to teach Medit the defensive move Barrier. It also added to the privacy that let Jake feel most comfortable.
Medit opened his mouth as his eyes got slowly wider until they changed to a bright white. A flash streamed from his eyes and suddenly there was an invisible wall, all around Jake, Medit, and the tree they had chosen to rest under. The wall went up until the top of the tree and then stopped. No lid was formed so that there would still be plenty of oxygen for the two.
With there usual defense up Jake slouched down under the tree and Medit joined him in his usual spot, under Jake's chest and weaved through his arms. The warm fur of Medit was a nice counter to the cold grass they were lying on. Jake slowly closed his eyes as he listened to the short, quick breaths of his Pora get softer and slower.
Suddenly he hears the raspy of what he figures is the janitor before he looks up again and sees he was correct. "What are you still doing here, boy? Who are you?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had been standing here so long...umm, I'm Jake." He didn't tell the old man for Jake didn't like to give out too personal of information to strangers. He left it at Jake.
Jake's sixteen-year-old body was well taken care of, despite the look of his shabby clothing. He liked to take good care of himself. His dark hair fell across his forehead and he pushed it back with his rough hands. His blue eyes shone brightly through his glasses as the janitor still stared at him wildly, almost telling him to get lost.
Jake felt uncomfortable talking to the janitor, as he did often when talking to strangers. He started to fumble with the tags around his neck and feel for his evoball, containing his coveted Pora, named Medit by his late mother.
Jake didn't have much of a family life. He liked to travel alone and go on adventures with Medit. He was in simple terms a loner. This was only because of the fact that he had never made friends with anyone well enough to let them in. He was never around one place long enough to have that time with someone. Especially since his dad was back home taking care of his grandparents. He has become accustomed to being alone now though so he doesn't expect much from others. Most of them though that his scar and the way he acted about it was weird also.
Jake came back to the thought of this Team Sprocket he had looked into again and how interesting it would be to catch more evomon. He decided that this may also be a chance to find someone to connect with, but he wouldn't get his hopes up.
Having spent enough time awkwardly in the auditorium with the janitor, Jake decided to leave. He opened the big doors of the exit, the ones with the evoball handles made of brass and the picture of two unknown evomon , at least to him, carved into each door. Out the door was the lounge, where he saw a gaming system and a comfortable couch he thought looked like it would be very comfortable after all the past nights sleeping outside on the ground. "Medit would think so too, he's been in his ball long enough."
As Jake pushed open the big doors he also saw that there were some people in the lounge already. He didn't really feel like introducing himself again or getting friendly with anyone yet either so he decided against going in, no matter how comfortable the couches looked.
Jake turned around and saw that there was another door on the other side of the auditorium with a big, bright sign above it reading EXIT. He walked over to it, past the janitor again, and pushed it open. The sun that burst through the new opening hurt his eyes suddenly but it subsided in a few seconds.
It was a nice day out and even though the team was not up to what could be considered good behavior it was surprisingly pleasant on the outside. The forest was full of tall trees that swayed in the wind and reflected the sunlight off their new leaves.
Jake found a shady spot under one of the bigger trees and sat down underneath it, facing away from the base which he had just exited. He felt the crisp grass bend as he sat down and it was cold through his pants. Being a particularly hot day it felt nice though, Jake thought.
Jake rested his eyes now but before he drifted off he remembered that Medit was still in his evoball. Jake didn't like to keep Medit in his ball ever really but during the assembly he knew that Medit wouldn't be able to keep still. He was a lot rowdier and more curious than Jake so he had put him in the ball.
Jake grabbed the lone evoball on his side and lifted it into the palm of his hand. "You can c'mon out now bud. The assembly is over." A red light shot out from the small ball and a small hole suddenly opened on the side of it. In front of Jake his Pora materialized, stretching and yawning as it did so.
"You wanna rest with me in the shade for a while bud before we go try and find something to do?" Jake asked looking at Medit. His Pora, on the average size of how Pora's normally look, nodded at him and smiled before turning around towards the outside of the tree.
Medit and Jake were on very similar wavelengths thinking wise so he already knew what Jake would ask of him, and he didn't mind. Being that Jake and Medit were on the road traveling a lot they gave the chance to be robbed or attacked while resting so Jake decided to teach Medit the defensive move Barrier. It also added to the privacy that let Jake feel most comfortable.
Medit opened his mouth as his eyes got slowly wider until they changed to a bright white. A flash streamed from his eyes and suddenly there was an invisible wall, all around Jake, Medit, and the tree they had chosen to rest under. The wall went up until the top of the tree and then stopped. No lid was formed so that there would still be plenty of oxygen for the two.
With there usual defense up Jake slouched down under the tree and Medit joined him in his usual spot, under Jake's chest and weaved through his arms. The warm fur of Medit was a nice counter to the cold grass they were lying on. Jake slowly closed his eyes as he listened to the short, quick breaths of his Pora get softer and slower.
