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Placing the Blame

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Who to blame...
  No one. No one is at fault.
  Everyone. Everyone has a part, and everyone is wrong.
  Other: Please post answer.
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Lovely Shayness

PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 7:18 pm


I've always wondered when you know you can place the blame on someone. I feel like it can be everyone's fault. In all situations.
Which is probably why things like this are so easily debateable.

Like, I'm going through this situation with some friends and uhm family right now.
My best friend snuck out of my room one night to go have sex with a... with someone much older than us.
I never got around to putting the screen back in my window, and my mother found out.
I was honest with my mother what was going on.
And now my best friend is in... alot of trouble and the man she was screwing is going to jail.

Who's fault is it all?
Mine? for being lazy, and being honest when confronted.
Hers? for screwing a *****, and using me in the process of it? ((karma?))
His? For being... well, a ***** my mothers for being a big mouth and telling her whole family, even though she promised me she wouldnt?

I can say it would be all our faults. We all had a part in it.
But everyone is pointing fingers at one person or another. And of all the pointing finger, it's gotten to be my fault the most.

But I dont feel like it IS my fault. I didnt screw a a *****. It's hers for being a slut, and his for thinking it's okay.

Maybe here's a better example:
A prostitute is raped.
Yes. They're both in the wrong?
But who's fault is it?
Her's for provoking it by having sex with everyone, and dressing provokitly, or his for letting his p***s take over his mind and take something by force?

Or, a dog is run over by a car.
Is it the dogs fault for running into the street like a dipshit?
Or is it the drivers for not stopping or swerving.

Of course, these other few ones arent as elaborate as the first one, but that's only because it's currently going on in my life, and it really made me wonder.

How do we know who is the main one at fault when things go wrong?
Or is anyone at all at fault, or is no one?
D: Give me your thoughts on this.


Disclaimer: I am not using you to vent about my problems, I was merely using it as an example.
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:31 pm


Why does it ultimately matter whose fault it is?
I don't want that to sound mean, but it does. >_<;;
But really, everyone's to blame, at some point or another, I think.
And sometimes, like in your first example, things are so complicated and interconnected that it doesn't really matter.
s**t happens.
Life goes on.

goddess_elppy

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Sieu

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 9:32 am


lets start off with a kick of some Buddha's lesson

Buddha said

YOu are the one to blame for everything YOU do.

thats right, read it again,
and now, read it once more and try to understand it.

ok now lets use that for your story.

What did YOU do what you can blame yourself on?
Right, you didnt close the windows, your fault, totally.
Ok now, are you ready to forgive urself for that?
CAUSE I KNOW I WOULD.

what your friend did, is her problem, i know I KNOW
i sound selfish and stuff and shizzle and all. but hey!
isnt it true? you can worry about her and tell her not to, but she decided anyway,
its not like, you didnt tell her or something.
and yet IF you didnt tell her, you cant blame yourself for something u didnt have done. odd sentence..anyhow

That ***** goin to jail = NOT your concern.
he's a *****? = NOT your concern

your friend screwing him with her own will = NOT your concern

so what IS your fault? YOU GODDAMN LEFT THE WINDOW OPEN, BAD GIRL.

Cocnering your mom, she cant help it, its a WOMAN, they all do that. ( no offense ladies, but admit it! im right xD )
Ok now, your can help ur friend out and all, but in the end
its up to her, cause its her mistake, well..mistake?
she did it with her own will right.

hope it helped wink
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 9:40 pm


I really like that philosophy, Sieu.
It makes a lot of sense.
*must read up more on buddhism*

goddess_elppy

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Shade Skypage

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:59 pm


Here's the solution: Don't place blame. No one, even yourself is responsible for the action of others. Do what you can to help in fixing the issue, and then do not linger. Move on to the next thing.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 7:25 am


goddess_elppy
I really like that philosophy, Sieu.
It makes a lot of sense.
*must read up more on buddhism*


Thank you smile
I am full with that stuff xd since I dont do anything else daily than figuring out the odds of life haha..

1.5 hour of bustrip per day makes you thinkin hahah

Sieu


Masticatius

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:06 pm


Sieu's absolutely right. Take responsibility for what you did, always.

But take no responsibility for other actions.


Of course, this doesn't mean you shouldn't try to help your friend or help other people out of bad situations (I think your friend needs therapy, she's obviously got what I lovingly refer to as "daddy issues"). Just don't take it as a responsibility, and don't upset yourself when you can't do anything.
PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 2:01 am


Masticatius
Sieu's absolutely right. Take responsibility for what you did, always.

But take no responsibility for other actions.


Of course, this doesn't mean you shouldn't try to help your friend or help other people out of bad situations (I think your friend needs therapy, she's obviously got what I lovingly refer to as "daddy issues"). Just don't take it as a responsibility, and don't upset yourself when you can't do anything.


thank you for adding it up biggrin

Sieu


PurpleDragonsGems

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 10:30 am


Bad judgement calls on the part of several people. Your friends, the person she went to see, yours, your mother's. At this point though, I don't really think it matters anymore.
PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 5:49 pm


Note: I love the disclaimer, though sad that it's needed.

Moving on, I agree with most of the sentiments expressed here, but I'd like to add that even though sometimes what we do and say influences other people in a bad way (sad but true, and we probably shouldn't have said or done said thing) it's ultimately THEIR decision to do what they do. It should also be noted that when it's us that screws up, we try to put it off on other people. Well, I do anyway. It's not one of those things that I'm proud of, I'm trying to rid myself of the bad habit actually, but it seems that lately our society has been brainwashed into thinking that it's someone else's fault and they're going to pay. Example: Suing McDonald's because you spilled their hot coffee in your lap. stare C'mon now people.


Disclaimer: Not trying to drag this out, only doing it for the gold

Suta_Hisui

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