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Alright, I lose my temper pretty easy, and I would like to know, does anyone have some methods for "Taking a step back"? Because I can't ever bring myself to to just, RELAX when I'm in the thick of delusional anger, and it often drives me to do some pretty stupid things, but I suppose, such is the life of.. anyone. Does anyone have any ideas for said "stepping back"?

Yesterday my uncle, my mom and myself went to pick up my grandparents from their care home, so that we could take them out for Easter Sunday lunch. Because they can barely walk, my uncle parked in the handicapped parking stall (which isn't unusual for people coming to the care home to do when they're picking up or dropping off barely-mobile people).

We all went inside and my uncle ran ahead to go fill out the papers to say that we're checking them out, and this woman comes up to my mom and I saying in an unpleasant tone, "You shouldn't park there! I have a plate! I could call the City and have you fined!" My mom explained that we needed that spot because my grandparents cannot walk very far, and we're here to pick them up. The woman continues repeating what she said before walking away.

I felt myself become very angry at her because I felt she was being rude and unnecessarily hostile (to go and find us and to lecture us even after we explain the need for that parking stall - even the staff of the care home sympathized with us). But I didn't say anything to the woman, although I wanted to. I managed, somehow, to think that this was a sentient being who wants to be happy and free from suffering, but due to ignorance she is creating the causes for suffering instead of happiness in that moment.

This allowed me to, in the midst of the anger I was feeling, generate some sense of compassion for the woman. What she said and how she said it was going to create karmic seeds that may ripen in ways she won't find pleasant, and I wished that somehow she could avoid that and be free of that karma. Because, although I may have felt anger, above that I want even her to be free of samsara and the karma she was generating at that moment was creating more obstacles to that liberation.

I also felt the same kind of compassion for my uncle who, upon hearing about this, began to swear and say he was going to find that woman and have a talk with her. My mom was upset, too, but she said to my uncle that it doesn't matter any more - we're here, she's had her words, and we're ready to go. The staff at the care home even apologized for it, although they had no responsibility to take for that woman's actions. They are very kind people to us.

To be honest, if this situation had taken place a year or two ago, my reaction would have been very different. I would not have felt any compassion for her, and I would have said something I would have later regretted. It's taken time and effort to reach this point where I can accept when I feel angry and I can acknowledge and feel the anger, but I can also in the midst of that feel some sense of compassion and a desire for the well-being of others.

I think that, perhaps, the way I reached this point was reflecting upon interdependent origination and how it relates to human interaction, upon metta (I love to recite the metta sutta whenever I'm alone or when I wish to), and just meditation upon things such as wishing for all beings to be free from samsara, and wishing for myself to become fully enlightened so that I have the wisdom and the skill to help with that liberation process of others.

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when it comes to anger controll i use water visualisation especially running water

I love the water suggestions smile I've tried it, a little, and it kinda works xD Thanks!

Deep breathing also works well for me.

Whenever I get mad, especially at a certain person, I automatically feel bad. So I just go outside and scream. I live in the country, so this is really easy. Or I go ride my bike, sometimes while screaming. sweatdrop Sure I look a little crazy, but I don't feel angry anymore.

Advice: JUST LET IT OUT!!! scream (vocally, not physically. don't hit nobody)

Hold anger in until you can release it in a more positive way. Think would this be much better later from now. I take Tae Quon Do classes and feel less stressed and I have stopped saying the f-word all the time.

This reminds me of a yoga class and funny thing is, does the same thing.