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Poetry and Lyricism

Unrequited Love

Gaaras_Little_Sister

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Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 3:39 pm

There's something wrong with you,
you demented b*****d.

You make me crave you,
then you push me away.

You kiss me so passionately,
but you give no hint of our secret encounters.

We sweat as one in my own bed,
yet none of it seems real.

What must I do to make you love me?

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 3:41 pm

(I think this should be in the Poetry sub forum)

Nice, I liked the line: We sweet as one in my own bed... It gives a hint of the fiery passion you speak of.

[ In Nomine Satanas ]

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Gaaras_Little_Sister

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Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 4:20 pm

thanx. I wrote this at the forum page just off teh top of my mind, so it hasn't been revised at all yet. forgive me if it doesn't seem finished.

_Shiloh Filia_ rolled 2 6-sided dice: 6, 4 Total: 10 (2-12)

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 10:03 am

It was short, I'll give you that; but who says poems need to be long to be good? Sometimes you need to get it out before the passion leaves, and that is what I believe you accomplished here.

wink pirate

_Shiloh Filia_

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Gaaras_Little_Sister

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Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 11:56 am

I'm glad I made my point. Thank you *bows*

Poetry and Lyricism

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