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SoldierGirl87

PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 2:25 pm


Im unsure if this has been posted. I looked through the stickies, and didnt really see anything, but I could have missed it.
Heres the problem.
When me and my boyfriend had sex he would feel like he's about to ejaculate, but he wouldn't. For some reason he just couldnt. I tried doing oral on him and the same thing happened. He masturbated after we had sex and he finally came once, but that didnt work again. Any suggestions?
Also, I have a problem as well... I dont c** at all. Even when masturbating. I feel like I will, but I havent.. ever. I think its because I was raped as a kid, and Im just scared of it, but I dont know. Im comfortable with him, and he really does turn me on, a lot.
Any suggestions or advice is greatly appreciated.
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:29 pm


Do you mean ejaculate or orgasm because there is a different. I mean, a male can ejaculate and not have an orgasm and vice versa. When it comes to females, they usually don't secrete liquid like a male does unless it's a G-spot orgasm and even then some women won't ejaculate.

It could be that your boyfriend does ejaculate, but that it is a small amount OR it could be that he does ejaculate and doesn't know it OR it could be that you guys just haven't found what works for you guys yet and haven't really experienced climaxing.

Yukito Yu


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:43 pm


SoldierGirl87
Im unsure if this has been posted. I looked through the stickies, and didnt really see anything, but I could have missed it.
Heres the problem.
When me and my boyfriend had sex he would feel like he's about to ejaculate, but he wouldn't. For some reason he just couldnt. I tried doing oral on him and the same thing happened. He masturbated after we had sex and he finally came once, but that didnt work again. Any suggestions?
Also, I have a problem as well... I dont c** at all. Even when masturbating. I feel like I will, but I havent.. ever. I think its because I was raped as a kid, and Im just scared of it, but I dont know. Im comfortable with him, and he really does turn me on, a lot.
Any suggestions or advice is greatly appreciated.


He may have problems ejaculating if he doesn't think you feel good. My fiance had a huge problem with this. If I don't feel good, he notices it and can't continue having sex with me until he finds out what the problem is.

If your boyfriend really cares about you, he may simply not be able to orgasm due to the fact that he is worried about you.

Also, I suggest that you get sex therapy of some kind to deal with your weirdness with sex. It took me about a year of having sex with my fiance before I orgasmed the first time, and that was mainly psychological due to rape/molestation in my past.

So, I think that if you start focusing on going slow and feeling good and NOT ON ORGASM (orgasm is not the most important thing about sex!), then you may end up finding that you have more fun and enjoy yourself more.

You see, if you think that sex is some kind of "porn performance" that you're supposed to do FOR the guy, and that you're only supposed to like the part where he orgasms (but only in an emotional way, or if you're trying to get pregnant), then you're not going to have fun.

Try divorcing the idea of orgasm from having sex. Instead of treating it like "hump hump hump orgasm" try to treat it like "we're going to make each other feel good BEFORE he sticks it in me, and we're going to continue to do things like licking or sucking necks, caressing each other, etc instead of simply humping like robots."
PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 2:11 pm


Im not the one who was worried over it. He was completely freaked out, and basically started crying. He doesnt understand (And neither do I) that when he masturbates he can c** a lot, but he couldnt with me. The one time he was able to while we were together, he came a lot. and he complained when he couldnt that it was hurting him, physically.. Im just worried about him, and I dont like the fact that he said it was painful for him not to c**.

SoldierGirl87


lunashock

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 4:52 pm


Sounds psychological to me. In your other thread, you talked about wanting children right now and that he wasn't ready. That sounds like a VERY big reason why he might have problems ejaculating due to you bringing up children. It could be he really doesn't want to take the chance when it comes to getting you pregnant.

I advise couples counseling, it sounds like you two need it. Good luck.
PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 6:29 pm


lunashock
Sounds psychological to me. In your other thread, you talked about wanting children right now and that he wasn't ready. That sounds like a VERY big reason why he might have problems ejaculating due to you bringing up children. It could be he really doesn't want to take the chance when it comes to getting you pregnant.

I advise couples counseling, it sounds like you two need it. Good luck.


To kind of touch on Luna's post, guys (and girls) have have trouble ejaculating/orgasming when nervous, anxious, under pressure or stress of some sort, and so on.

And as Luna said, if you're pressureing him to have children and he doesn't want them right now, that could be feeding into the issue. And I do agree that it is probably something psychological, in which case counselling for both of you sounds like a good idea.

Nikolita
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