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 Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 4:35 pm
Hello, my name is Emily and I am a lesbian. I have a bisexual girlfriend and we are currently living in MS(Part of the bible belt). Everywhere we go, someone complains about PDA, even when I'm at home and it's making me extremely uncomfortable in public. So everytime my girlfriend Laura touches me in public I get scared... My parents say they accept me but when other people are around to visit, they tell me to not have PDA. I'm wondering if it's because they want to save their reputation and friends, or if it's because they're protecting me....I'm confused at this very moment and I'm also scared. All this PDA in all honestly is making me rethink myself and make me ashamed of myself....but when I am the lesbian I am I am extremely happy....
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 4:53 pm
I think you need to decide what's best for you.
If PDA is something you are comfortable with doing and so is your girlfriend then go for it.
But if other's opinions of you is something you're worrying about then maybe not so much? Don't let someone dictate to you what you can and cannot do.
PDA makes me uncomfortable no matter who it is but in your own home, it's NOT PDA.
PDA is PUBLIC. Home is private. Family should suck it up to be honest haha.
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Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:06 pm
You said that when you are the lesbian that you are, you are extremely happy. You should be happy. You shouldn't have to rethink yourself and don't ever feel ashamed about yourself. I think that you should be yourself and you should be happy. Since you live in the bible belt though, safety could also be a concern. No matter what though, never feel ashamed about yourself.
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Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 10:29 pm
Hi, I'm Olive!
For me, when my significant other wants to be affectionate in public, I usually tell them "No, wait until we get home" Not because I'm ashamed or anything.. Just because I feel like people are staring, and I'm more of a quiet/shy kind of girl. Sure a kiss, little snuggles, hand holding... that sort of thing I have no problem doing, but ... when I see other couples literally sucking each others faces to the point where they might as well eat each other, I don't necessarily enjoy watching.
It's to a certain extent where I think it should be kept to a minimum.. Not because it's disgusting or anything, but because it CAN wait. You really have to look at the situation and how affectionate you actually are. In the end, there's aboslutely nothing wrong with loving one another.. Love is love!
Your parents are NOT ashamed by you, you said for yourself that they have accepted you being a lesbian. My guess as to why they're telling you no PDA is because they either haven't told their friends yet or they don't want them to feel uncomfortable. I know, it's super frustrating and your parents AND you really shouldn't care what they think.
Your parents just want their friends to accept you like they do. Think about it, if you had liked boys and it was your boyfriend coming over, I almost guarantee they would say the exact same thing!
Keep it private, somewhere where you feel comfortable. In the end, its your life... do what you think is right and whatever cracks a smile on your face!
emotion_bigheart
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Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 10:31 pm
Hi, I'm Olive!
For me, when my significant other wants to be affectionate in public, I usually tell them "No, wait until we get home" Not because I'm ashamed or anything.. Just because I feel like people are staring, and I'm more of a quiet/shy kind of girl. Sure a kiss, little snuggles, hand holding... that sort of thing I have no problem doing, but ... when I see other couples literally sucking each others faces to the point where they might as well eat each other, I don't necessarily enjoy watching.
It's to a certain extent where I think it should be kept to a minimum.. Not because it's disgusting or anything, but because it CAN wait. You really have to look at the situation and how affectionate you actually are. In the end, there's aboslutely nothing wrong with loving one another.. Love is love!
Your parents are NOT ashamed by you, you said for yourself that they have accepted you being a lesbian. My guess as to why they're telling you no PDA is because they either haven't told their friends yet or they don't want them to feel uncomfortable. I know, it's super frustrating and your parents AND you really shouldn't care what they think.
Your parents just want their friends to accept you like they do. Think about it, if you had liked boys and it was your boyfriend coming over, I almost guarantee they would say the exact same thing!
Keep it private, somewhere where you feel comfortable. In the end, its your life... do what you think is right and whatever cracks a smile on your face!
emotion_bigheart
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Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 1:33 am
I think you should do what makes you comfortable. Do you want to publicly display your affection? If so, do it. I mean, if they are only saying that to you because you are a lesbian (which I'm assuming they are), then tell them that they can't do PDA with their significant others.
You deserve to be happy with yourself. If PDA makes you happy, then do it! Don't worry about anyone else. It's a personal choice.
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Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 3:41 pm
Oreos_are_Racist Everywhere we go, someone complains about PDA, even when I'm at home and it's making me extremely uncomfortable in public. So everytime my girlfriend Laura touches me in public I get scared... My parents say they accept me but when other people are around to visit, they tell me to not have PDA. I'm wondering if it's because they want to save their reputation and friends, or if it's because they're protecting me....I'm confused at this very moment and I'm also scared. All this PDA in all honestly is making me rethink myself and make me ashamed of myself....but when I am the lesbian I am I am extremely happy....
I agree with LIONHEART; at HOME you should be able to do minor PDA, like holding hands, hugging and cheek kissing.
(I mean, you do that with family, no?)
Publicly, however, other people may be a bit "put-off"
(I mean I get a little grossed out by even straight couples making out when I take the train to school xp )
You and Laura sound like a very cute couple heart
I am happy that you are comfortable enough to be yourself! Like Flickering Hope and Chromosexual said, do what makes you HAPPY! xd
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Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2016 2:01 pm
i think pda is cute...as for what your parents say...idk...tell them to back off (but in a polite way)...srsly...you're in a relationship, that's not something u have to or should hide.
if it's making you scared think of something your gf can do to help you...like if you're kissing and someone yells at you...maybe she can go directly to ear nibbling if that makes you feel good/better...you know what i mean?
have like a "safe action" to go to even if it's just a hand squeeze....or you could dual flip the person off...and go back to your pda...it doesn't really matter....tell those losers to suck it.
smile best wishes, elly
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Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2016 2:06 pm
I think everything has it's time and place. While holding hands, kissing, etc are totally fine in public places, doing it in excess, and intentionally making it known to the world is not okay. French kissing, body rubbing, anything of a sexual nature (unless it's done legally, in a legally specified zone (Amsterdam)), and the like should not be done in public.
EDIT: I should also point out that the PDA is not the underlying issue. The problem here is that you're LGBT in Mississippi. Go walk around for a while, and look for straight couples doing exactly what you do with your girlfriend. Now, tell me how many of them get called on their PDA. I'm willing to bet that number is close to zero.
My suggestion would be to keep doing what you have been doing, with the addition of carrying a non lethal pepper spray and pocket knife (if it's legal for you to do so). This way, if it is a safety issue, and you're backed into a corner, you have something to fall back on. The bible belt is a harsh place to live, but until people speak up for themselves, it won't get any better.
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Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:39 am
holding hands and stuff should be fine, just no full on making out and stuff
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