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 Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:16 am
So I had told myself that I would NEVER date a co worker and always keep it professional at the work place. Recently some new hires/transfers have arrived and there was one guy who instantly caught my eye. I had never really talked to him until recently when I totally found out that he had also had an interest in me. Since then we are now dating and so far things are ok. work though is kind of weird now where we have to lie and say we are just friends to managers and other employees. dating is not allowed at my workplace and if someone is caught dating another co worker the people will be seperated and given really opposite shifts. I want to know your guys experiences with these kind of problems, or if you find it ok that a work place can basically tell you who you can and cant date. extra:heres a pic of us from our recent twin day at work haha. im on the left. 
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Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 4:09 am
that seems really silly. one place i used to work at said one of the rules was no employee could date a manager, that rule didnt stop managers from and employees from dating at all, they just hid their relationship when corporate stopped by
what on earth are they afraid of? sex behind the counter or something?
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Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:38 am
I can understand why employers might discourage relationships between coworkers (conflicts of interest, accusations of favouritism, the fall-out after fights or breakups...), but ultimately I think it should depend on the people involved, the type of workplace, and what their roles are in that workplace.
To use my own situation as an example:
I work in a large call-centre, which handles workloads for a number of different clients. My boyfriend and I both work for the same client, but handling entirely different lines of business. Our teams are in different parts of the building, so we have no interaction at all while we're working.
On the other hand, a couple of years ago, these two people on my (very small) team started dating.They worked side-by-side all day. One of them tried very hard to keep things professional, while the other was totally inappropriate, always trying to be lovey-dovey and touchy-feely on the job. When they inevitably broke up, it was a mess, and it made things awkward for everyone around them. sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 6:32 pm
I don't date, so I've never come across this. Plus where I work there's no one my age.
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Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:03 pm
I work at a hotel, and there were two coworkers of mine that had the same issues. They both fell in love with each other, and found out the hard way that there was a "no dating coworkers" policy that none of us had heard before. One night, my manager walked in and caught them finishing dinner with each other (she was in the kitchen cleaning up while he was going back to the front desk to work). She was apparently really upset about it, and for a while had changed her work schedule so that she wouldn't see him.
My manager didn't like the guy to begin with, and that had just made it worse. Eventually, he quit, and she still works at the hotel. Their still in a relationship, but when it comes to dating coworkers I would advise to either not do it or be extremely discreet about it.
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Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 8:41 am
I think it's iffy. Certainly it's possible to keep things professional, and I think if the relationship doesn't affect your ability to do your job, I don't really see why you should be restricted about who you date.
However, realistically, I know that I have a hard time keeping things professional 100% of the time, and I actually work with my significant other a great deal. We can usually keep things good, but I can understand that sometimes I am unintentionally biased or distracted, particularly if something major happens in a relationship, like a big argument or something like that. It does make sense to insulate the workplace from those types of issues as much as possible.
Realistically, I think pretending to be friends is probably for the best. While it can feel like living a lie, it's also the way to best insure that your relationship doesn't get even accidentally dragged into your work performance. And while it can be stressful or difficult to manage getting your shifts changed to accommodate for a relationship, it should be worth it in the long run. I can definitely understand why these policies exist, even if they feel unfair in the moment.
Remember, though, that the bulk of a relationship shouldn't happen while you're on the job anyway. It's best to separate those parts of your life out, or things can get very messy. Like I mentioned, I have a good amount of experience working with an SO (although in a different context) and it is easy to get our professional dealings entangled with our personal feelings, and that's when things start to get messy.
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Intellectual Elocutionist
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