|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 8:10 pm
I am currently in a serious relationship I have been so for about 4 years now. Me and my partner talk about becoming wed/hand-fasting some what often.
He doesn't want his family to know that I'm pagan so the idea is that we have a wedding for his family in a church (who are all christian) even when he is atheist himself (something he doesn't want them to know either).
and have a secret hand-fasting later?
I personally really want a hand-fasting, something he is fine with doing since its important to me.
But I really rather not do the Wedding (is that self-centered?)
Then their is the whole which to do first?
I'm conflicted, any thoughts?
What about your point of view with your relationship or possible future relationship unions?
is it really important to you to have your ceremony of choice, even when your partner wants or might want something else?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 8:17 pm
Doing something to appease others is never a good idea.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 8:35 pm
If neither of you is Christian, then I do not think it is appropriate to have a church wedding. You would be taking vows before God, which if neither of you believes in Him (or follows Him), it's like the whole ceremony is a giant lie - talk about starting your married life off on the wrong foot. Your best bet is to find a non-denomination preacher, and plan an outdoor wedding. There are plenty of ways (especially since it seems to be in fashion lately) to incorporate "pagan" elements, without arousing too much suspicion. If nothing else tell them you want to have a "renaissance fair" themed wedding - make everyone dress up in period costume.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:54 pm
too2sweet If neither of you is Christian, then I do not think it is appropriate to have a church wedding. You would be taking vows before God, which if neither of you believes in Him (or follows Him), it's like the whole ceremony is a giant lie - talk about starting your married life off on the wrong foot. Your best bet is to find a non-denomination preacher, and plan an outdoor wedding. There are plenty of ways (especially since it seems to be in fashion lately) to incorporate "pagan" elements, without arousing too much suspicion. If nothing else tell them you want to have a "renaissance fair" themed wedding - make everyone dress up in period costume. I think next time my fiancé brings it up I should tell him this. We've got the same issue with his family. His mom even told me not to bring it up that we were Pagan in front of his grandma when we went out for his graduation from basic training.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:17 am
I know it's hard, when you have family that you have to work around, but it is your day - and Gods willing you won't have another one like it ever again, so you should be able to do what you want, and not cater to others. Being discrete is ok, but blatantly going out of your way to cover it up, isn't fair the couple.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:34 am
I agree with the others. If neither of you are christian, then don't get married in a church. And besides Handfasting would be more personal I think. But we can't make your decision for you. This is really for you and you fiance to discuss, but maybe our opinions will help.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 8:13 am
I had a similar issue when I got married. My family still doesn't know that I'm Pagan, and also would not recognize anything other then a Christian ceremony. We compromised by having an outdoor wedding and we incorporated a Handfasting into it as well. We got what we wanted, and my Mother is none the wiser while still getting what she wanted.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:54 am
When I get married I dont really have it hard. My guys parents are pagan but he's grandma is morgan. And he just wants to do what i want so yea.
I think you should do the hand thingy first then do a small wedding for the christan family. Since niether of you really are into that religion then you can spend less on the chruch wedding.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 1:04 pm
LacrymosaVampiress22 When I get married I dont really have it hard. My guys parents are pagan but he's grandma is morgan. And he just wants to do what i want so yea. I think you should do the hand thingy first then do a small wedding for the christan family. Since niether of you really are into that religion then you can spend less on the chruch wedding. That's a possibly to think about.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
