[MUSIC] I'm looking for some help...

[Rock4ourRock]

You are the apple...

Possible idea: Idk if its just me, but the 2nd person point of view tends to make a song lose its power. Imagine a listener singing this song and he/she is singing those last few lines of the chorus. It would be as if he/she were talking about someone else, even though its suppose to be talking to the listener him/herself. Therefore, the conviction there is somewhat lost. A first person point of view holds a lot more conviction for the listener. I know a first person point of view is way over done in Christian music, but then, what isnt?

Some other possible lyric changes:

Verse 1:
I'm in this tunnel tryin' to find the light - The darkness in this tunnel consumes me*
It's so dark, there's no where to go - I'm lost here tryin' to find the light
There's nobody here to cling to - I'm all alone, there's no one else
There's nobody else around - no one

*I imagine the last two syllables being in a sort of quarter-note triplet rhythym.

Verse 2:
It's so dark, it's pretty scary - the fear it grips me
I just don't know where to turn
Things are lookin' kinda freaky - scary
Things are lookin' kind of down

Verse 3:
But then I looked and saw this brightness
It was shining through the dark - shining through the deepest black
The light and dark began to fight
The light was beating out the dark

Chorus:
The light had brought us victory - me
Then I heard the light say, "turn to me" - Then it said
The Lord can bring you through the darkness
The Lord can bring you through your fear's
And the Lord can turn your life around


There are other parts that would need some work, but i cant think of decent ways to improve them right now. Also, in what order are you putting everything? Are any of the verses going to be the bridge? is there even a bridge at all?

and I am your core.