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 Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 1:59 pm
Joke of the Day
Everyone loves jokes! Every day a new joke will be posted here to get a smile out of you! Please enjoy and don't judge! rofl rofl rofl rofl
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Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 2:11 pm
Poor guy
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" rofl rofl rofl rofl
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2010 1:02 am
Condom complaints
A woman asks a man, who is traveling with six children:
-"All these kids are yours?"
The man answers:
-"No, I work in a condom factory, and these are customer complaints."
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2010 1:07 am
CRAP!
A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Hello, I would like to be castrated."
"That's a lifechanging operation," says the doctor. "Are you sure you want to do it?"
"yes," says the man. "and if you refuse I'll go to another doctor."
"OK," says the doctor, "but it's against my advice."
So the man has his operation and he's walking around the hospital the next day with a bandage around his private area. Suddenly, he sees another man with the same thing. So he walks up to him and says, "Good afternoon, I see we got the same operation."
"Yes," says the other man, looking happy. "I've been wanting to get circumsized for 37 years, and I've finally done it."
The first man looks panicked and says, "S@#t!! That's the word!"
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:04 pm
Farts A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. The farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!"
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts - although still silent - stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing..."
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:15 pm
Goodbye To Mother A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc.
The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
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