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Lord Alucard Ere Casanova
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 Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 2:08 am
I know most people have felt this at some point in their life. Anyone who hasn't is very lucky. If you have felt lonely to the point where despair seemed to be your only companion, how did you deal with it?
Right now, my only real chance of earning income and education is through the military, which I don't mind so much since it is also a family tradition. Unfortunately, since I wasn't able to get any of the 200+ jobs I applied for in the past couple years I have had to leave my fiance for awhile to get into the military. So far I'm not in yet, but I should be soon. During this time I have been very lonely and nothing nor anybody has been able to make that loneliness go away. The only thing that helps at all is thinking of my fiance and remembering that everything I do and anything I may suffer through, I do it all for her and for the family we will someday have.
Naturally, many people have had things to say about that, but my attachment to the girl I love is not the topic here. I'm more curious about whether or not you have been through anything like that, even if the situation was entirely different and thus handled differently. Have you?
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 6:43 am
Yes, I have felt the same way. Many years ago I had very high anxiety and fell into deep depression, I tried Zoloft and It made me sleep a lot. Then I tried Prozac or Paxil, I forget which one it was but it made me feel even worse. I attempted suicide and luckily failed. Through talks with my brother I realized that I couldn't rely on pills or out side forces to make my problems vanish. I had to rely on myself and find what made me happy. Its been six or so years since I felt like that and now I couldn't be happier.
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 8:34 am
Yep, been there. First time I went to college, I moved to a small town where I knew no one. I had an apartment to myself, but no one had really taught me how monthly budgeting worked, so my food shopping was a mess (at one point, I was literally trying to survive on mustard).
I was far enough away from the school that I didn't want to walk there some days, and the whole operation cut me off from everyone I loved - I was a good two hours' drive from the closest people, geographically, in my family/friends, and I had no car, so I couldn't see them.
I fell into a depression so bad, I literally didn't leave the apartment for about a month. A school therapist finally came over and asked the super to let her into my place when I didn't answer the door buzzer, and dragged me to a psych hospital. They tried medicating me, but I didn't get better on that.
Of course, I think they were wrong to try to begin with - my depression wasn't organic. It was geographical. And it got better when I left the area and moved back in with people I loved.
Long story short, I didn't handle it well. I'd handle it like you are, if I had it to go through again, but I was a child in more than a few ways at the time. Just remember, if you need support, it's here and at home/in your fiance. People are there for you. 3nodding
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 1:34 pm
Byaggha Yep, been there. First time I went to college, I moved to a small town where I knew no one. I had an apartment to myself, but no one had really taught me how monthly budgeting worked, so my food shopping was a mess (at one point, I was literally trying to survive on mustard). I was far enough away from the school that I didn't want to walk there some days, and the whole operation cut me off from everyone I loved - I was a good two hours' drive from the closest people, geographically, in my family/friends, and I had no car, so I couldn't see them. I fell into a depression so bad, I literally didn't leave the apartment for about a month. A school therapist finally came over and asked the super to let her into my place when I didn't answer the door buzzer, and dragged me to a psych hospital. They tried medicating me, but I didn't get better on that. Of course, I think they were wrong to try to begin with - my depression wasn't organic. It was geographical. And it got better when I left the area and moved back in with people I loved. Long story short, I didn't handle it well. I'd handle it like you are, if I had it to go through again, but I was a child in more than a few ways at the time. Just remember, if you need support, it's here and at home/in your fiance. People are there for you. 3nodding I'm sorry you had to go through that, Byaggha. The support I know I have is exactly what has kept me going. For her, I can't afford to just lay around and dive into misery. I have to keep going no matter how hard things get. Summa Crusta, what is it you found that brought you happiness?
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Lord Alucard Ere Casanova
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 5:25 pm
I'm going through it right now. The be honest, I feeling betrayed by the person closest to me. I was told that I could talk to my mom about ANYTHING and she wouldn't get mad. When I tried to tell her her fiance wasn't good, that he was treating us all like crap (and he still is), she went apeshit on me, and is now ignoring me. I'm also grounded to my front yard, and I can't use my phone to call my dad, who is trying to work out visitation plans with me. I angry enough to stab myself right now, but I can't because I can't afford anymore medical bills in the house.
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 5:34 pm
buggsie blue I'm going through it right now. The be honest, I feeling betrayed by the person closest to me. I was told that I could talk to my mom about ANYTHING and she wouldn't get mad. When I tried to tell her her fiance wasn't good, that he was treating us all like crap (and he still is), she went apeshit on me, and is now ignoring me. I'm also grounded to my front yard, and I can't use my phone to call my dad, who is trying to work out visitation plans with me. I angry enough to stab myself right now, but I can't because I can't afford anymore medical bills in the house. Self inflicted harm is not the way to go. Believe me, I've been there, it only offers a temporary relief unless you cross the line to suicide. Even then, many people, including myself, believe that each life we live through has lessons to be learned. Perhaps you are here to learn how to deal with these hardships, therefore killing yourself now would simply place you in a new life where you would face the same difficulties. As it so happens, my parents divorced when I was six. I blamed myself for another six years, then they both married people I felt they could do better than. I tried to let them know, but they refused to listen. The sad fact of the matter is that it is not the place of children to advise their parents in such ways, at least not for our parents' generation. My advice to you would be to rough it out. Meditate, use the internet to learn as much as you can about belief systems such as Buddhism(and this is a good place for that) and try to just cope with things. Someday, when you are a parent, learn from your mother's mistake and listen to your children. Don't give in to depression. Depression, if any emotion can be compared to such a thing, is the most like darkness. You can keep the light on and push the darkness back, or you can let that light burn out and give in, becoming blinded by it. Think of all the good things you've been through, think of all the good things yet to come, and keep pushing forward.
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Lord Alucard Ere Casanova
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 5:43 pm
Master Shadow Kilo buggsie blue I'm going through it right now. The be honest, I feeling betrayed by the person closest to me. I was told that I could talk to my mom about ANYTHING and she wouldn't get mad. When I tried to tell her her fiance wasn't good, that he was treating us all like crap (and he still is), she went apeshit on me, and is now ignoring me. I'm also grounded to my front yard, and I can't use my phone to call my dad, who is trying to work out visitation plans with me. I angry enough to stab myself right now, but I can't because I can't afford anymore medical bills in the house. Self inflicted harm is not the way to go. Believe me, I've been there, it only offers a temporary relief unless you cross the line to suicide. Even then, many people, including myself, believe that each life we live through has lessons to be learned. Perhaps you are here to learn how to deal with these hardships, therefore killing yourself now would simply place you in a new life where you would face the same difficulties. As it so happens, my parents divorced when I was six. I blamed myself for another six years, then they both married people I felt they could do better than. I tried to let them know, but they refused to listen. The sad fact of the matter is that it is not the place of children to advise their parents in such ways, at least not for our parents' generation. My advice to you would be to rough it out. Meditate, use the internet to learn as much as you can about belief systems such as Buddhism(and this is a good place for that) and try to just cope with things. Someday, when you are a parent, learn from your mother's mistake and listen to your children. Don't give in to depression. Depression, if any emotion can be compared to such a thing, is the most like darkness. You can keep the light on and push the darkness back, or you can let that light burn out and give in, becoming blinded by it. Think of all the good things you've been through, think of all the good things yet to come, and keep pushing forward. Thanks. I'm trying to rough it out. Every time I almost go into a depression, I think of my friend, who went through the same thing. She cheers me up. I can't wait to go to my dads to see her this summer.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:49 am
Master Shadow Kilo Quote: Summa Crusta, what is it you found that brought you happiness? My family's drama is what caused me to have the anxiety and depression. At that point in time I had relatives that where on drugs and would steal my things to support their habits and I had other relatives that where opportunists that used me and any other person they could. After removing myself from those households and finally had the money to rent a house with my girlfriend, I felt free and all of the anxiety was gone. 3nodding
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